Het Paardje

This was not a bad place at all to stop and have a sandwich and beer. They have a nice terrace with the seats along the perimeter located under heatlamps. The paardje tosti is really good– pastrami, cheese, pesto, egg and a few other surprises I’m probably forgetting, served warm. Really tasty. We also had the avocado sandwich which was absolutely smothered in mayo — far too much for my liking. The rest of the menu was very standard Dutch fare not worthy of a special stop. But if you’re in the neighborhood get a bar and the paardje tosti and you should leave happy :)

Picture a bar, on a Friday night, somewhere in the Pijp. It’s smaller than the tolerance of a PVV voter. Hotter than the temper of a Dutchman told to leave a tip of 20% in a New York restaurant. (True story, he wasn’t pleased). The bar is so full that if your clothes are creased, the sheer pressure of so many people packed in like sardines in a tin will iron them out. It’s hot, it’s loud. The Shallow Man is feeling dizzy, as if there’s no oxygen in the place, then I turn round and see a couple kissing so passionately that I hope he’s wearing a condom. No wonder there’s no oxygen left, they’ve taken it all, yes, I’m in het paardje! What a place! I’m sure there are plenty of women who’ve been shocked to find out that they’re pregnant, then they think back and say «tuurlijk, ik ben in het paardje geweest!» (Of course I was in het paardje)
Whenever the sun comes out, getting a seat on the terrace outside het paardje is like watching a quality tv show on RTL, highly unlikely. The terrace is packed full of a fascinating collection of people. Makelaars discussing the latest stupid expats that have paid way too much rent for a rundown, mouse filled shoe box. Posh Dutch women discussing their latest hockey match in excruciating, time starting to stand still, slow motion, get me the bloody hell out of here detail. Young guys whose mummies and daddies give them far too much money, who make a big performance of displaying the keys to their Audi’s, BMW’s or Range Rovers, and loudly talk about what they’ve recently bought (with daddies money). You can also spot C and D list «celebrities» from slechte tijden, slechte tijden learning how to read while eating non-​descript tasting food.
The food, yes they serve food, it’s really not worth mentioning. The staff do their best, in a kind of incompetent but friendly way. The service takes so long that I’ve seen children growing into young adults while waiting for my order to arrive, but it’s one of the sunniest spots in that part of Amsterdam, my advice is to drink and under no circumstances eat there.
Unlike the average horse, you won’t leave there with a long face.
I’ve decided to give this place three stars. The extra star is for the sheer number of drunk and hot women that frequent the place from Thursday’s to Saturday’s. Yes I’m really that shallow.

Located on a little square in the heart of De Pijp, just next to the Albert Cuypmarkt, this cafè is among my favorites to enjoy some lunch. In the Summer there are tables outdoor that help enjoy better the life of this typical district. Food is in general good, as well as coffees/​teas if you need something warmer.

I really like this place! In the summer it gets extra awesome with outdoor seating. They’ve really good bitterballen and the staff’s nice.
BUT limited choice of beers.