Me Old China

Friday, June 29, 2012
My god, this was the one place we were finally able to eat real food, we were finally able to EAT A REAL MEAL.
I can’t believe the amount of emotion coming out of my mouth when the food touched my lips. It tasted so heavenly! If you have been deprived for so long, of course this sub-​par food will taste wonders to you. However, I do have to thank thee for being cheap and satisfying my homesick appetite for Asian food of any sort.
Décor was very dull? The kitchen is in the open so you can see everything they’re doing and how they cook. There is the waving cat in the upper right hand corner as you walk in. The sunroof at least keeps the place cool. The restaurant is owned by two brothers it seems. Service? What service? You do it yourselves!
Total: £6.99
Sweet Corn Soup
Mushroom Soup.
Carmelized Pork
Mushroom Sateed Pork
Chicken and Onions Omelet
Garlic Green Beans
Rice
Noodles
Somosas
Eggrolls
Sesame Toasted Bread
Sateed Chicken
Chicken on a Stick
Curry
Steamed Vegetables
That may not be all of it but that’s the most I can remember. The food is packed with MSG but it was worth filling up our stomachs.
Sadly, they had boba drinks on their drink menu but ran out? What a tease. Alas, no boba for now. I’m craving it like mad. At least there was free water to rehydrate ourselves but they wouldn’t give us ice. MSG does tend to make one thirsty.
Overall, good place for those craving days but you should definitely not frequent this place on a daily basis.

Ah, Me Old China… it brings back so many memories. The first place in Brighton I really ate at, enjoyed, and still return to frequently. It is truly diabolical; the food has been described before, brilliantly, as ‘the Chinese equivalent of a greasy spoon’, and I could not agree more. The service is non-​existent, the décor a disaster, and the name doesn’t exactly inspire confidence when walking by. However, what Me Old China loses on the above counts, it makes up for in charm, and wins me over every time.
The menu is atrocious. Really, it is laughable, and a poor attempt at variance is covering up the fact the all-​you-​can-​eat buffet is the only real culinary option. The waiters even grimace when you order off-​buffet: it is truly brilliant to see. The buffet itself is greasier than the bottom of a frying pan, and is overflowing with MSG. It should be horrifying, but there is nothing quite like a greasy, skin-​destroying, plate of greasy Chinese food. Other places try and cover up the fact that the food is awful; Me Old China seems to roll with it rather beautifully.
The man above describes the décor as ‘Blade Runner’, and I think even that gives it too much credit. The walls are a faded, yellowy colour, reminiscent of sandpaper or oil, and the artwork attempting to cover it up is the worst kind of corner-​shop-​faux-​Chinese-​antique. They even have the ubiquitous lucky waving cat sitting on the side!
Yes, it is shocking. It is terrible, and it is mercifully cheap. However, it is a guilty pleasure, like the greasy spoon on the corner, or the kebab shop on the way back from the club. You know you shouldn’t, but you can’t resist the over-​saturated flavour enhancers! I also have a rather more poetic reason that I enjoy Me Old China: the midday sun, on a good day, catches the shop front at just the right angle, and light streams in and seems to set everything a-​twinkle. Has to be seen to be believed, in more ways than one!

You know those days that go down in your own personal history for having had something so amazingly unforgettable that you can’t help but bring it up all the time in conversation? Maybe Dave laughed so hard a chip came out his nose, or a butterfly landed on your actual face mid sentence, or you just managed to get tickets for the most underground gig your favourite band has done in the past decade?
Well I had one of those days when I discovered «Me Old China»…
I went in there with low expectations, as the name didn’t exactly scream class from its humble position above North Street. But I ate my words ten times over, along with the tastiest cheap Chinese deliciousness I have ever had the fortune to fill my plate with! If you head there before late evening, £6 will buy you all you can eat. Whatever else is on the menu I can only guess at, and in all honesty doesn’t even begin to interest me… But the buffet… My GOD!
Its not stacked with variety, and no matter how good the grub is, some people just plain don’t like Chinese food… But with the dishes all being replaced and added to regularly and all tasting like each was a work of particularly fine craftsmanship and love, you won’t find yourself complaining.
The pleasantly Blade Runner like atmosphere is also a winner in my books! And you won’t be finding yourself frustrated by service either, as you’re ushered to your table by friendly faces and kind words in seconds of entering.
I’ve been half a dozen times now, and the only thing that holds me back from going more is my table manners… Only go with equally hungry people!
On the value meter, this hits a perfect 5 every time, but I’d say the reliance on the truly sumptuous buffet means I can’t quite give it that extra star… However, Me Old China does get my highest recommendations! So stop Unilocaling your time away and call that fellow food fan to arrange an unforgettable meal!