Sewallcrest Park

Dog park review: I took my puppy here for the first time today. It is a beautiful, modest sized park with lots of families and couples. There were only two other dogs but that’s probably because their humans were at work. It wasn’t fenced so I don’t think we’ll head back soon. Maybe in a year.

I’m not sure how a park gets a good or bad review, but this one deserves 5 stars.

Open area for dogs, a diamond, couplea fields, hoops, community garden and playground. It’s a great local park that’s never too crowded.

This is a very boring park that bases its identity around defining a park as a «large area of grass». The park is essentially a big open field. There is a basketball court, but the nets are always down. There is a playground, but it is small and kind of janky. There is a baseball diamond, but it looks like it would be more at home in the Rust Belt. I like parks, this park is fine, but I don’t ever want to spend much time there. There is a community garden that abuts up against the park which is cool if you enjoy watching people laboring. Overall, I would always choose to go to another park rather than this one except when I don’t feel like walking very far.

Let me begin this review by stating, in no way, shape, or form, am I a hobo. I have a home. I don’t carry a tied cloth satchel at the end of a long stick. I’ve never even ridden in the bum car of a train.
But I might have swigged some red wine once or twice from a plastic tumbler while chilling in Sewallcrest Park during the day. I might have wandered obliviously through a couple kickball games, bottle of syrah perched comfortably in my hand as my sandals eased through the grass. I might have carried my syrah-​filled tumbler to the see-​saws with other girl hobos to chat and cuss noisily as wary parents propped their young ones on the teeter-​toters next to me only to haul them away in caution just minutes after. Everyone knows that hanging out on see-​saws leads to smoking and sneaking out to watch punk shows, after all.
And I might have held onto the same brimming tumbler for dear life as I was spun like an electric egg beater on a merry-​go-​round. I might have almost thrown up on the neatly shorn grass within view of many people walking their dogs, exercising their limbs, and making sure their children didn’t topple off playground structures. But at the end of a sun-​drenched, aimless afternoon, I got to climb in the car and drive home. The park life and the hobo life hold many similarities, but one does not equal the other.

As far as parks go, I’m pretty easy to please. Why? Because I don’t really care what amenities are offered as long as there’s a place to roll out a blanket, post up with magazines and a radio, and hang out. Sure, other people go to parks for exercise, and that’s all fine and dandy, but for Sunday Day Drinking, my exercise plan is just a touch different than my usual Mon-​Sat cardio/​weights regimen:
Warm Up: trudge across the park carrying a heavy cooler in search of a gaggle of squawking Yeeps.
Lifting: several sets of curls, to work the biceps (nothing heavier than a tall boy, but not lighter than a sandwich).
Balance/​Core: incredibly and impressively balance atop the see-​saw fulcrum, meanwhile maintaining Zen Master poise and grace (ok, I fell off three times, but it was a good start).
Stretching: try to grab box of Cheez Its, ever so slightly out of reach, without actually getting up.
Cool Down: walk it out, all the way to the bar two blocks away to use the facilities because despite having a baseball/​soccer field, there are no goddamned toilets in this park.
All in all, ’tis a fine park when you need a park for park’s sake. Our kind should probably stay away from the little children, or at least try to turn on the verbal filter next time. The best part about this park is the playground, but is that really ok for us to take it over, to the extent that parents were skirting around us, practically shielding the eyes of their precious young? Probably not. But it was a super good time.

I’m fully aware that I do not meet the normal criteria of one who may be looking for a sweet playground. I am not in elementary school, nor do I have any spawn of my own to entertain.
I do however, have a soft spot in my heart for the «dangerous» playground equipment of my youth and hot damn, but I have found it here! Playground equipment still made of metal? YES! A real live merry go round? That’s right. Teetter totters? Really.
It was a beautiful summer day, so a group of friends and I descended upon this park where dreams are made to picnic it up and enjoy some shenanigans on merry go rounds.
My one and only gripe: No bathrooms. Really? You have baseball and a large open field for soccer, but no bathrooms? When was the last time you met a child that didn’t need to pee every 20 minutes? Or in my case, an adult. Not even a port a potty was available. For shame, Sewallcrest, for shame!
Maybe next time I should try to befriend someone in one of the houses right across the street. Then this would be the perfect park.

This is a fine park if you’re looking for a place to be active. The baseball fields and basketball courts are used often – and other activities are often played on the fields (kickball, ultimate frisbee, etc.). Sewallcrest is probably a great place to teach a kid to bat or shoot hoops, and there’s also a small kiddie playground.
The park has nice flat surfaces if you’re looking to play games, but if you just want to relax, or take a walk, there are much better parks in SE for those activities. There aren’t that many picnic tables in this park. The grass is pretty torn up in most of the park, and the water fountains don’t work, at least not when I’ve been there. There’s a porti potty – woohoo!
The park is conveniently located near Hawthorne. It’s often overcrowded on the weekends. If you’re looking to play a game with friends head here, otherwise you’re better off heading to Laurelhurst or Tabor.