Café Gloss

No more Gloss! This place is now called Café Montmartre with the same décor as before. Also gone are china tea cups replaced by standard white mugs. Local caf, more than a nice café.
I’d parked just opposite, so I thought I’d sit outside for an iced coffee. Nothing special, especially for where it is.
A reminder for me to read Unilocaliews ( Unilocal reviews — get it? haha:) before randomly walking into places!

As far as afternoon tea goes, I can’t really ask for a more perfect meal. Tea pots, scones, china cups and more, I’m like the cat who got the cream when a place gets it right. Café Gloss doesn’t quite do it. Trying so hard to be cute it misses the boat and boarders on tourist tacky without any of the chintzy goodness that I love.
Afternoon tea was standard with tea bags not leaves, dry scones that were crumbly in the wrong way. Now don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t awful, it just wasn’t great. :O (
The more I think about it the more terrifying the decór is, like something Marie-​Anne Tonette would throw together, well either her or Laurence Llewelyn Bowen! Give it a try and let us know what you think!

Seems everyone is in agreement about this little coffee shop/​tea house. I am happy to know about it, as it offers a nice alternative to the Starbucks and Nero chains that dominate the area, but it’s not exceptional. It is sort of cute, in a slightly rundown way, and the cakes they serve here are tasty. I’ve also had a really yummy crêpe here, so all in all, the food is pretty reliably good. Not a place to seek out, but a good place to know about near High Street Ken.

I am a non tea drinker yet still understand that a true tea aficionado wants their tea served in a pot, not directly into the cup. This aside the décor and size of Café Gloss make it a very cute place to luncheon.
What made the biggest splash with me were the cakes. The chocolate and carrot cakes were straight from ‘Moist Cakey Heaven.’ The toasted scones with jam and clotted cream were so good I wanted to smoother my body with them. Thankfully I refrained and ate them like a good boy.
It is unlikely I would cross town for this place again, but if I was in the area and my alter ego «CAKE BOY’ resurfaced, I’d be in there like a shot.

I know I won’t be the only one mentioning how upset we were by the lack of teapots and loose tea at this quaint (read: small), shabby-​chic (read: a bit run down) tea room (read: a little café where they happen to serve tea.)
BUT
Their cakes were incredibly moist, their scones were light, fluffy and toasted (?) and their clotted cream was like a cloud of buttery perfect. Not JUST buttery perfect, but an entire cloud of it.
Would I take mumsy-​poo? Probably not. But for a quick’n’dirty afternoon nibble with close friends (who won’t judge each other when digging into the cream in large spoonfuls,) it was perfect.