The Alley

What brought me to the Alley was the fact that had their menu posted outside, and they were the first place I saw that had bitterballen listed on their menu. And as far as I was concerned being on vacation, there was no time that wasn’t a good time to stop for a pint and junk food.
The Alley is pretty centrally located in the city, and an easy destination for anyone hanging around the city center, or near the grand central station. Going inside is a pretty modern looking establishment that’s pretty clean looking, but despite the fact that it was an evening where there were tons of people out and about outside, the restaurant itself was pretty slow in terms of present customers.
Ultimately, probably had to do with the fact that they were out of sandwiches; perplexing as it was to hear that they didn’t have food from a particular category on their own menu, it might explain why they weren’t more full inside. Fortunately, they still had the capability to make bitterballen for my girlfriend and I, and that’s primarily what we had come in to get.
Also, at least as far as the bartender was concerned, and is seemed to be very much the case in Amsterdam in general, everyone spoke perfect English, and there was never any concern that I’d be unable to communicate with anyone.
For someone who had never had bitterballen before, I didn’t know what to expect. But they’re these little deep fried balls of like, gravy and meat, which is probably the best way to describe it. The Alley’s bitterballen, I had no idea if they were good or were bad in the grand spectrum of bitterballen, but they were tasty enough as far as I was concerned. They were served with a tart mustard, serving scalding hot. Only later on in my trip to Amsterdam did I have bitterballen that was of a superior quality to the Alley’s, and the comparison leads to reveal that the Alley’s bitterballen is kind of hollow, not generously stuffed, and kind of lesser quality.
One thing I really want to point out is that I saw probably the most amazing technical marvel in my life, in the mens room of all places, at the Alley. One half urinal, one half sink. So you can literally wash your hands at the same time as urinating. (picture included in review) Unfortunately, amazing as this is, the part of the process where you dry your hands hasn’t been included, leading to the fact that this can still be improved upon. And yes, I was that guy that brought a camera into the bathroom; but hey, at least I wasn’t selling drugs, like the guys that came in after me were doing…
Overall, the Alley was pretty mediocre. The location is nice, but the fact that they were out of a particular food at a pretty normal hour was a little bit of a turnoff, and in hindsight, their bitterballen fell short of some of the other, superior quality bitterballen I would have later on in my trip.

Skip this place. I like Unilocaling good places to pass along the word… but need to give warning on this spot. Waitress was friendly (hence the two stars and not one) but the service was very slow. An hour after we order, we checked in with her to see if our food was on the way. 10 minutes after that we just asked for the bill sans getting the food. We were charged for our two iced teas (very overpriced at 7 euro) to top it off.

Place was over priced and didn’t have very responsive service. We had 2 Heineken and cost us € 15! It was a rip off when comparing to other locations that had a much better atmosphere.

Hands down worst meal and service I’ve ever had. Everything was dry and way overlooked. Terrible service, terrible food, and overpriced. Also charge to use the restroom after paying an outrageous amount for food.

This review is written in the present and present continuous tense.
We’re at the Alley on Damrak. It looks cool, has a friendly line of staff and has a cosy chic design. We are waiting to take a bus to the Keukenhof tulip gardens 45 minutes away from the city, so something that looks cool seems like a good way to start the day.
I want breakfast. We are going to get an omelette and some bread. The omelette is really small for € 10. So we’re ordering another breakfast dish. Moderately well cooked omelette with not so generous portions of toppings (sometimes I miss my American overflowing with cheese omelette :-()
The waiters are friendly but somewhat slow. Perhaps it’s the European laid back thing, or maybe just bad service. I still like it. We’re here with vegetarian folks. And the waiters are being rather helpful trying to customise menu items to vegetarianise them.
The bill = € 70. Somewhat expensive for breakfast. I can get this food a LOT cheaper in London, or New York. Perhaps Damrak is the wrong place to expect cheap. Sigh.
So average portion food at not such great a price. Still one of your best bets in this area for breakfast.