The Slammer

We had a fun prefunk here and found both the male and female bartenders to be personable and fun. Football bar for sure but we loved the lighting and casual atmosphere.
I’ve driven by the Slammer so many times but never been in. I’m glad I finally gave it a chance as a prequel to the dancing at Lola’s and Holocene.

After seeing this place on a Friends Facebook, I put it on my list of places to go.
Imagine my surprise when our Barfly Bus took us there as one of the mystery locations! Jackpot! I was sure they’d taken their Christmas lights down and we’d have to wait until next year but the owner Lizzy (of 30 years) says «You don’t take your lights down until I take my lights down!» I was thrilled for that!
With the regular crowd and a school bus full of us, one drink was all the staff could handle getting us in the 30 or so minutes we were here.
Our host gave us the 10 minute warning and we were about to take off when he realized we were missing 4 people. They were still in The Slammer playing Pacman. I get it. I didn’t want to leave either, but we had 3 more bars to get to before midnight at our final destination.
I honestly have no idea if they had food, but I didn’t care. Beer was on my mind and a lovely seasonal amber was what I got.
Next Christmas season, this is a place you have to drop by if you are all about Christmas lights. If you are into a really cool dive bar with an even cooler owner, swing by any time.

The bartender with the goofy smile that looks like Ben Affleck if he had been on drugs for 10 years is a real jerk. I’ve never been to a bar or restaraunt where they actually lost my credit card. I’m sure it didnt have anything to do with the beers I witnessed him drinking (while working) meanwhile I had been waiting for 45 min to get my friend a drink. Typical bartender who loves to abuse being a position of power. Refused to acknowledge he lost my car and now I have to get a new one. Unbelievable such a place can still be in operation.

I just had a great time here last night. it was a young crowd later in the night but when we got there not so much. Although it was pretty busy we still got drinks quickly. The music was great… quite the variety and the owner Lizzy and her son made us really feel welcome. I love coming here during Christmas time with all the lights up.

This was a regular watering hole for me of years past, however the new staffing is HORRIBLE, and I’ll not EVER be returning after the way I was treated.
Went here the night before Thanksgiving with some coworkers whom hadn’t been before. The place was packed, and could barely get up to the bar to get a drink. There were two people working, and the male bartender was preoccupied with getting his crew of guys drinks, rather than anyone else standing at the bar. I waited with my friends for over twenty minutes, being ignored over and over. I wasn’t the only group of people waiting, however as equally irritated customers walked out the door, I insisted that we stay and we’ll get our drinks next. As time went on, I noticed he was focused on getting drinks for his friends, doing dishes, slamming redbull, grabbing kegs, cleaning up spills, stopping to rap along with the music rather than acknowledge ANYONE else that he would be right with them. When I overheard him ask to get a drink for his friend he had already gotten a drink for since we arrived, I couldn’t help but chime in. I said I would love to get a drink too, being that neither my friends nor I had been acknowledged. He stopped and gave me so much grief and attitude it was appalling what he said to me. He stopped what he was doing leaned on the bar in front of me and said ‘okay let me stop everything I’m so busy doing to listen to you complain, okay here I am, wasting my time on you.’ I was speechless, humiliated and extremely validated. Your amazingly awful bartender lost your business five new customers, and scathing Unilocal review. Go across the street to the Rum Club for impeccable service and the best drinks you can get in the city.

I liked this place once. Then i came and played a few songs on the jukebox in spanish and they changed tunes mid song. I paid for each song through my ami app. I actually paid double for most songs that night so they would have priority play. I went to the bar and told the bar tender my songs got cut off and he said they had to play to a certain crowd.

Wonderful little dive. The bartender was super friendly when I came in. The place is small and cozy. No pbr but I wasn’t given the death glare I get at most bars in this area when I ordered it. My boyfriend smoked in the smoking area and I pissed in the «boys» restroom and although we were asked to not do those things we were directed to the right areas with the most kindness I’ve seen in a long time. A must do of dives.

Worst service ever. Bartender was drinking out of his friends drinks, asked me my order and served 4 other people before me and then continued to chat with all his friends so I ended up leaving. Terrible experience. I am a bartender and that guy is bad for business.

Dive-​y-​est of the Dive-​y.
If you’re into Dive bars, then you must check out The Slammer. Truly a Portland classic. My husband and I ended up here after dinning at Fire on the Mountain as it’s not far. The ceiling is lined with colored Christmas lights and I imagine they are amazing. Unfortunately while we were there the lights were not turned on.
They do a Taco Wednesday rather then the standard Taco Tuesday. Nice change I suppose. Although we did not order food, someone across the bar from us ordered a cheese quesadilla and I couldn’t stop staring at it. The cheese was that gooey, stringy cheese you dream about having in your quesadilla. I will have to go back and give it a whirl.
They offer very cheap drinks. If you plan to stick around and have a few, open a tab. There is a $ 5 on credit cards/​debit cards. We paid in cash most of the night.
We’ll definitely be returning as we’re big fans of classic Portland Dive Bars.

I have mixed feelings about this experience. one, the blonde bar tender gal was awesome! noticed I was having itchy eye issues and found Me some drops. I tipped her 30 bucks for that. and our glasses were never empty. two, the owner should probably not buy girls drinks right in front of their men. If I was in California in my old bar circle the conversation would have gotten awkward fast. But I have family that are regularly drinking here so I didn’t say much. drinks were good, place was cool… But being a business owner myself if never close lines like that, and especially at work.

I like this place. it takes a while to get a drink when it’s busy but what else do you expect from a straight bar? they’re nice and fun bartenders. it’s a quirky little space AND they have elk hunt video games. keep me entertained while my friends yell over loud music, that’s my selling feature in any bar!
stopped in here do for Christmas, what a fun crowd to celebrate the fake birth date of baby Jesus with.

Great bar! Wandered in for a Blazers game and was not disappointed. The atmosphere is perfectly welcoming. The bartender, who was super friendly, turned on the tv in the back and chatted with us for a minute before getting our drinks which were proper. Then he came through later with complimentary bags of Funyuns. We will be back.

We were attracted by the impressive Christmas lights display, and stayed for a drink. The thing that stood out the most, unfortunately, was the overwhelming smell of urine coming from the restrooms. I appreciate a good dive bar as much as anyone else but a little cleanliness would have gone a long way. If a fraction of the energy used for decorations was used for cleaning, this bar would for sure become a go to place, but alas this is not the case.

This dive bar is fun and funky. I can’t decide if «Slammer» refers to where you are going afterward (as in, «going to the slammer» (jail)) or what you are supposed to do with your drink (slam it) once you eventually get served.
I was here just before Christmas, and they have an amazing collection of nutcrackers all lined up above the bar. The ceiling was covered with multicolored Christmas lights, which lent a festive air to the place.
I wish I could say the service was better; it took for-​ev-​er to be served, even though it wasn’t that busy. While slow, the bartenders are nice and friendly.
Parking is pretty easy on the street, and it’s not in a dodgy part of town, so thumbs up for that. If you’re looking for a funky and fun place to grab a beer or a simple cocktail — artisanal concoctions are not why you are here, okay? — then check this place out. It’s fun!

This is a small bar but very cute and you feel like a local walking in here. The bartenders are all very welcoming and genuinely pleasant and don’t go light on the booze with mixed drinks. There is an abundant amount of outdoor seating (picnic tables) and they also do Taco Tuesdays… you just serve yourself from a hotplate in the back and you’re good to go! Nice place… and the employees don’t screw around with making the place festive… there’s mad Halloween décor all up in this joint right now!

look, the Slammer is definitely a dive. but it always had the friendliest service and bar backs. Some really great folks. Also, its one of the few microcasm of «real» Portland left as the gentrification sweeps through the city. You will see all types here, sports fans, rockers, punks, hippies, business types, yuppies, hipsters all co-​existing and having a good time. I love living close enough to walk down to this place every now again when I am thirsty just to soak in the atmosphere.

We walked in already buzzed and it was a great place to catch our breath and continue building on the great strong drinks from Easy Company (go there now). This is a quintessential dive bar. Go get your drunk on!

Are you recently single, ladies? Get yourself to The Slammer. This fairy lit den of cheap booze will have you feeling like the lone woman in an all male penitentiary, in a good way. Never have you been hit on in more bold and sweet ways than you will in this soothing oasis for the thirsty.
Your broken heart will hurt a little less with a few well whiskeys in your blood while a strapping Jamie Hince look-​a-​like drunkenly sways in front of you saying, «I just want to take you out to dinner».
Plus the bathroom décor makes it feel like you’re partying in your friend’s grandma’s basement.
The juke box is pretty good too.

Women beware: my girlfriend got ROOFIED, and I was BITTEN by a stranger (to the point of bleeding) at this bar. We are not party girls, and only had 2.5 drinks over a 3 hour period that night.
In other words, it was the worst experience I’ve had at a bar.
It’s too bad that the clientele ruined our experience, as the bartenders themselves appeared decent.

Oh, Slammer. For a dive bar you sure do have a lot of windows. So you’re not as dark as a regular old dive bar, but aside from that, you could compete in the marathon at the dive bar olympics.
You have all the required equipment — cheap peebers, stiff dranks, a couple of TV’s tuned to sports, internet juke, drunken fixtures at the bar, lots of seats at the bar, outside tables for the smokers (that most dive-​barfies inevitably are), small bathrooms and friendly, take-​no-​shit staff.
Really, Slammer, you’re exactly what I expect you to be from your name and outward appearance. And what’s wrong with that?