Stark Naked Pizza

I give this place two stars because the music was excellent while we consumed less than mediocre pizza. I had a slice of pepperoni and a slice of their combo, and my wife had a slice of cheese pizza — it all tasted the same — completely naked of any flavor whatsoever. And they charge for more than one refill on soft drinks. WAKE UP! You don’t charge for refills when that is the only source of flavor going for you!
And I must take exception to Ted C.‘s observation that this has «authentic PDX vibe,» and can only assume that he doesn’t get out much.

I popped in here while waiting for Goodfoot to open and I’m glad that I did. My slice of Hawaiian pizza wasn’t the easiest to eat. The pineapple chunks were awkwardly tall enough to keep tumbling off the slice when I’d go in for the kill. Clever pineapple chunks!
For thin crust, it was a tasty as your average slice of pizza ought to be. Even better though was that I happened to pop in during happy hour to find that Rainier tall boy cans were only a dollar. Two tall boys and a slice of some pretty decent ‘za for $ 5 couldn’t have gotten any better.

I don’t get the hype.
We ordered a medium pepperoni for delivery as my lifemate is a self-​described «pizza purist.» I was going from the fact that I will eat a roast wombat if hungry enough, and I was. So, delivery.
Pizza seemed to be made entirely of thick, rubbery cheese.
I think someone forgot to add the sauce.
No flavor, aside from the wad of cheese.
Crust was meh.
So we will not be returning soon. Go to Hot Lips for passable pizza, or venture out to Escape From New York for epic pizza. You won’t find either here.

Killer pizza joint with authentic PDX vibe. Order the fresh pizza’s and eat at the video game table. What’s the video game table? Go there and find out. Great table, but my legs are a bit long for it. It’s like they designed video games for kids or something…
The first time we went here was because I was heading to Coalition brewing (up the street) and wanted some food before I began to guzzle beer (not my first rodeo). The second time was because we became tired of looking for parking at a couple of other places and ended up here again because well… We do love pizza!
The first time, we ordered slices and the second time, the slices looked like they had been made in a wax museum, so we ordered a fresh pizza called the «Casanova» (Salami, Sausage, Pepperoncini, Artichoke, Roasted Garlic) and Ka’Pow! What a durn tootin’ good pizza! Glad we ended up here a second time to try this pie. The two of us almost ate the entire thing (I’m sorry Pizza Gods, I’ll do better next time).
They also have beer on draft (who doesn’t in PDX) and a good selection of sodas.

This place surprised me! It was a perfect ending to an evening of drinking! The slices were tasty, the beers were cold and the staff is oober friendly!
I will be back!!!

Star review inflation is as real, and problematic, as grade inflation.
For many years, it has been impossible to score below a «C» at such prestigious universities as Stanford, where the presumption is, if you were good enough to make it in, you’ve already got the goods to be successful. Apparently enough do-​ray-​mi and/​or connections ‘n’ clout really do = BA/​BS/​MA/​MS.
That brings us, ever so semi-​coherently, to the review @ hand of Stark Naked Pizza. As one delves ever further into the Unilocal Underworld, where treasures such as SNP become practically weekly, or at least monthly occurrences, one becomes compelled to avoid easy, breezy, use of superlative language. Goodness, right about now I am super-​compelled to just blurt out «Lieber Gott, that was some flippin’ unbelievable pizza! My new all-​time favorite, and to them only, I will always be true.»
Maybe it’s b/​c I’m such a catholic Beast (in the ancient sense of the word, meaning universal, or even promiscuous, if you will). I am reluctant to slap «best all time» or «Most favoritest» or what have you, on an establishment, even fresh off of having sampled many of the very worthy offerings so joyously discovered @ SNP. Knowing perfectly well the next latest greatest is a few mere mouse clicks away through Unilocal.
The Inner Bookworm is hopelessly smitten by the nomenclature of Stark Naked’s offerings, with pies evoking images of the ancient East (Samurai Pie) and West (Aesops, Hera, Spartan) from the biblical
(Adam & Eve, Burnin’ Bush) to the cartooonish (Popeye); from past masters (Lovely Rita) to future Hall of Famers (Hummus Fresca). Although my sensibilities remain firmly carnivorous, I’d have to say my favorite pie so far @ SNP is the Hummus Fresca. Several co-​workers said it’s the best pizza all-​around they’ve ever had, w/​o any of my usual needling for feedback.
Till my next, latest greatest discovery via Unilocal,a robust «Thanks» to the very friendly staff of SNP— man, they really sealed the deal on an altogether fabulous dining experience. Sorry, though I can promise we’ll definitely be back to enjoy your great food, I can’t promise my love for you and you only eternally, perhaps I’m too much of a slattern. As Augustine said of the (Catholic) Church, «She is a slattern, but she is still my mother»… If we Yeeps are indeed the hos walking the streets, that must mean Unilocal is our big bad pimp, or rather, our out-​sized, relentless, insatiable Queen Bee ;)
Res Ipsa Loquitor.

I’ve said it before, there are a lot of «Unique» pizza places in Portland and… this is one of them! Pizza is good but not special but it is very well priced compared to other «unique» pizzas.
The servers/​cashiers here are super nice and their open late so if you go to Goodfoot next door you can hangout a bit afterward and grab a slice here.

Stark Naked, not only a great pizza shop but also an incredible sandwich shop. Your two massive balls of meat fill up the nicely toasted bread just right, topped with cheese and covered in sauce, aww yeah. All joking aside the meat balls are huge, and also come as a Greek style sandwich that is really good. If your not into balls don’t worry they have a large variety of satisfying sandwiches to choose from.
The pizza here is well done, very good. Open till 3 am on Fri. and Sat. good move. Go in order some food, play Mr. Do and thank em later.

Worth my 15 minute drive anytime.
It’s a small little place tucked in on Stark. When I’ve gone, it’s been later at night and lots of people are outside on the picnic tables for both SSP and the surrounding bars.
My latest visit was the better one. Excellent service at the counter after placing my order on the phone, a little small convo here and there, got my pizza and sub, and I was gone. Still hot when I got home and tasted excellent. Good NY-​style crust and excellent spice to the marinara. I’ll go here again and again.
Make sure to play the Mr. Do tabletop!

We came to Stark Naked with our 2 young girls after being told it was a 90 MINUTE WAIT at Ken’s Artisan Pizza. 90 minutes with a 2 and 3 year old just isn’t going to happen, so Unilocal pointed us towards SN.
It’s a tiny little place, but was really charming with the nice girl behind the counter and the Motown tunes playing overhead. We had a large pie, half pep and onion for the wife and half Roma, basil, and artichoke heart for me. Delicious! Crispy, thin crust, tasty toppings, and some nice beers on tap and in the bottle.
We were out of there before we would have even been seated at Kens, and probably for a lot less! I would highly recommend Stark Naked Pizza if you’re in the area!

With so many pizza places in SE Portland, I chose the closest (haven’t tried Ken’s yet though).
Cheap pizza, crust is thin, chewy and crispy. Not bad, and surprisingly good prices. I’ve eaten there and just had a slice and the spinach/​goat cheese salad (hello, goat cheese? Can this be bad?), I’ve also ordered take out and did the Trojan.
Whole pies or just slices, it’s a good deal with creative toppings.

Really good, flaky crust. Nice marinara with the breadsticks. Basic toppings.
It’s not worth driving across town or anything, but Stark is one of the few places I can walk to get a decent cheap slice near my house.
Super low-​key, dark interior, laid back staff, nothing outstanding happening here, just a good fast bite.
It hits the spot and they have Trumer Pilsner, too.

To my dear friends that recommended this as one of Portland’s best places for pizza and beer, I respectfully & emphatically disagree.
The hus and I drove all the way here, anxiously awaiting some fantastic pizza. Maybe it’s that we got there at 3 pm and the pizza had been sitting out for a while, maybe it’s that there was no one in the place so the atmosphere was a little lame, or maybe it’s because it was as lukewarm in the building as the pizza was in my mouth, not quite sure but I will say with certainty…
The pizza did not have much flavor. What?! I know, we were as surprised as you might be, seeing how there were cloves of garlic and other fun treats, however it just really didn’t do it for me. Or the hus. In fact, I found myself not wanting to even finish my slice and I was STARving.
So, if you do come here, make when the pizza is fresh. As for me, I do not plan on coming here again. There are too many yummy places in Portland for me to journey to Stark Naked again.

My roommate ordered delivery from here after looking it up at Unilocal.She got a Casanova pizza with artichoke, pepperoni, and whole cloves of roasted garlic. When it came about 40 minutes later, I couldn’t help but help myself to a piece, and then immediately come to Unilocal with slightly-​greasy fingers still to write this review. Fresh and delicious! Ingredients are local, and in my opinion it’s always fresher that way.
~$ 20 for a small pizza. Pretty reasonable!

The hell, Stark Naked? If I wanted to feel sick mere minutes after dinner, I would launch myself into 50 jumping jacks while watching the American Country Music Awards with the volume turned way up. I don’t know what happened, but those cheese slices — the very same cheese slices I sang the praises of just a month prior — made bad times happen. Bad. Times.
And I know about bad times, all right? Reference the aforementioned Bonfire/​barfy connection. For a while, the Bonfire took on a weird mythical stature, like it emitted toxic fumes that instigated immediate dry heaves just thinking about it. You, Stark Naked Pizza, I might need to freeze out for a little while longer. Don’t let it happen again.

I tend to walk around in circles when I’m on a mission for food in this city. Tonight was no different as I decided to treat myself to dinner. Trip down to the bank to take out some cash and then my journey began.
I honestly had no idea where I was going to get food. Being super hungry I wanted something substantial, but I didn’t want to pay a large amount of money. Ultimately after walking around in a very large circle (more of a square really) I ended up at Stark Naked which is just a few blocks from my home.
Didn’t come here for the pizza. I’m picky with pizza in this town and although I don’t dislike the pizza here, I wouldn’t go out of my way for it. I had never had any of the sandwiches here so I decided it was time to partake in one. Their advertisements talk about the Meatball Sub so when in Rome.
The Meatball Sub is $ 6.75. I’m glad I didn’t pay close to $ 7 for a sandwich that I could finish in two bites. I’ve done that in this town at a few of the sandwich shops and it pissed me off to no end. I’m looking in your direction Meat Cheese Bread. Although this sandwich isn’t huge, the meatballs are and they give you a nice portion of potato chips on the side. The bread tasted very fresh, the sauce didn’t taste canned (I don’t know that anyone uses canned marinara, but you never know) and the mozzarella was plentiful.
I’m not stuffed, but I’m content. That is all I ask for.

Good things come in little packages. The truth can be said about me. And, more importantly, about Stark Naked Pizza. When I walked in, I actually asked the attendant, «Is this it?» to which he plainly replied, «Yes.»
Unaffected staff members aside, the pizza here was actually quite impressive. Oh, sure, it isn’t Gladstone Coffee orgasmically awesome [start] sarcasm [end] but it was very, very tasty. I had a slice each of their pepperoni and garlic/​tomato/​basil, and I was in pizza heaven. The crust had that perfect balance of crunch and ooey-​gooeyness (is that a word?) that every bite sent shivers down my spine. (Overkill much? I know.)
What I enjoyed most about this place was that it was unassuming. From the handwritten chalkboard menu, to the serve yourself water station, to the single restroom– everything about this place screamed «We’re tiny. So what?»
Several people from my group enjoyed their sub sandwiches. I must try the meatball sub the next time. It looked absolutely delectable. I just have to make sure to spend more than $ 5.00 to use a debit/​credit card, though. Or I could just bring cash. Whatever. I’ll definitely be back.

Totally nom nom nom. I loved the Cassanova: salami, sausage,
pepperoncini, artichokes, and roasted garlic. Lots of flavor. It had what I wanted in a pizza.

I feel like the shit comes out different every time but its always so good. The pizza is mucho grande. They have
cocktail machine in store. I prefer Mr. Do’s castle myself. Its right next door to bonfire so you can get drunk and play pinball next door. Buy a slice if you want but I dont mess with slices because I likes the pie. A large is only $ 15.50 and its over 20 inches big. Remember when people cared about having Dubs on their cars? They are the size of a dub wheel. This place gets my approval.
update!!!
They are actually 18″ sorry.
Taste great Day old reheated in the oven
Reminds me of Arinells pizza on valencia st SF

What I like about Stark Naked Pizza.
1) The name. Gotta love the word play although Stark Raving Pizza would work too.
2) The alt-​PDX vibe. Sitting outside watching bikers vie for bike parking spaces. If I drew, I’d sit there with a pitcher and some slices and draw people. Great characters, PDX ‘fashion’ on display.
3) The location. It’s so un-​trendy, it’s trendy but still nowhere. It shares the area with Bonfire, the Goodfoot and Avant Garden so it generates it’s own vibe but it is off the beaten NE 28^th street path.
4) The pizza. I wouldn’t choose it as a destination pizza place but sitting outside with 2 – 3 people, a pitcher and a whole pie satisfies my urban neighborhood sidewalk needs.