New Cross Inn Hostel

Hmm. I guess you pay for what you get, as this place is pretty cheap with rooms (or, a bed in a room) for close to 10 GBP a night. A little grungy, interesting characters… basically, a temporary orphanage for students and the internationally unemployed.
We actually lucked out when we stayed here for a few nights before moving into our apartment. We had some nice people in our room (we shared with 6 people) who were respectful and easy-​going people, but I can’t imagine if that wasn’t the case.
As for the facilities, they range between adequate and less than adequate. The bunk beds are squeaky, but there was a sink in the room, which was a plus. There were 3 bathrooms on our floor, which was good, but the light wasn’t working in one of them (the one that had no windows) so, unless you wanted to do your business in pitch black or take a shower in a dark cave, it wasn’t useful.
The kitchen was extremely funky, and I don’t mean there was a disco ball in there. I’d attempt to describe the putrid rotting food-​chemical mix smell, but then I would probably be reminded of it and vomit on my computer. Although it’s «illegal» I recommend making sandwiches in your room, or maybe in the common room.
The common room is on the small side, but the wi-​fi works in there (wi-​fi doesn’t work in the rooms) and there’s a TV that constantly plays «Who’s Line Is It Anyway» or «Car Talk». The common room also has a kitchenette and they try to cram everyone in there and serve breakfast from 8 – 9:30 (SHARP) every morning.
As for entertainment, I mostly relied on watching one of the hostel workers communicate with the guests of his daily responsibilities. Perhaps something was lost in translation, but it went something like this:
at 9:28, guest walks into the common room, and asks for breakfast. Hostel (or hostile?) worker guys says, «NOW IS 9:30. BREAKFAST IS OVER.» (Sad guest turns around and walks back upstairs.)
at 10:30, as guests are chillin’ in the common room, Hostel worker guy comes in and makes a brief announcement: «NOW IS 10:30. I CLEAN THE COMMON ROOM. YOU MUST LEAVE NOW.» (Frightened guests quickly escape common room.)
at 10:48, while we were packing our bags to check out, Hostel worker comes into the room and says: «TODAY YOU LEAVE. YOU MUST LEAVE NOW.» (To which we replied, thank you, but we’ve got twelve more minutes to enjoy our lovely stay.)
So that was pretty hilarious. Other perks include, free towels, 5 GBP to get your laundry done, free wi-​fi (for the common room and stairs), lockers access, and the security of ambulances that drive down the street every 8 seconds or so. Oh, there’s also a 20% discount in the New Cross Inn pub downstairs and a free thumping techno beat that can be felt Thurs-​Sat nights through the hostel.
Can’t say I’ll return soon, or ever, but it was an interesting experience and passable option if you’re homeless and can cough up the cash for the night.