Panic Room

For once, I gambled on a Groupon and lost. The bar itself is nice for what it is (a weathered, but clean, chill vibe, etc.), lots of history, and a great location. The smoky pork tacos were quite good, if a little soggy. The meat was tender, with just the right balance of smoky, sweet and tangy flavor. With a bit of refinement, they could have a decent niche for themselves.
Unfortunately, it all goes downhill from there. Strangely enough, the pulled pork sandwich was amongst the worst I’ve had in my life. It had the texture and flavor of reheated meat that had sat for too long. I don’t mind braised pulled pork (in fact, it’s often quite good), but I don’t think they were even trying. The half-​assed portion of pork and lack of slaw reinforces this conclusion. The most aggravating thing is that potential that is shown; the food is like the brilliant underachievers that we all knew in high school. I hope that tonight was just a fluke, because I am disappointed.
Speaking of disappointment… we come to the fries. They were an abortion. Strike one is the limp texture, try frying them longer. And seasoning them. And changing your fry oil more than twice a year. Those were an insult to potatoes. The bland, flavorless «panic sauce» only made things worse.
In short, this is a potentially great bar that gives up halfway. I hope they get it together. The building itself is awesome, and the staff seem like good people. I have to wonder if they really got rescued, though.

We had been looking forward to this for a long time. Our out of town family came in and we weren’t sure what to expect. We really wanted the teenagers and adults to have an equally satisfying time. Turns out we did!!! We had a blast in the most difficult room they have. Great time. Can’t wait to go back! Our hostess, Jordan was superb!

I went here last night and I had a wonderful time. Heather (the bartender) was funny and genuine. The bar was so cozy and inviting, I believe it was the owner (or sir fancy hat as I’ve named him) and Heather were telling my friend and I about some of the unfinished projects that are going to make this place even more lively. I’m a big fan of the fireplaces.

Great happy hour and it goes all the way until 8p! $ 2 tall boys (there’s even a cider), $ 4 drafts and $ 3 wells (I think). Service was attentive, nice and overall good.
I really really like everything this place had to offer. There’s a nice lounge/​chilling area with 4 tv’s connected to make one big one. They were playing The Walking Dead via Netflix when we were there. There’s a bunch of tables to around that area. Then there’s the main bar with some sitting around it. Next to that are a few gaming machines. Then you walk through a doorway into the pool table gaming room. There’s like two pinball and two arcade style games there. This place really just keeps going and going. To the left of the pool table is another bar that’s pretty long. Looks like it’s there for when they have shows because there is a stage and really decent concert area. I get the feel that they would have some punk shows here.
The bartender was super friendly and we were quickly welcomed by the locals that were kicking it at the bar.
I didn’t get to try any of their food but I did hear a few of the patrons around the bar talking about how they had good food for bar food. Per the reviews I really expected this place to be a whole but the wife and I really enjoyed our visit and look forward to saying Hi again.

I came in with my fiancé tonight to see a friend play (yay live metal) and immediately noticed that the environment inside was vastly different than I remember. I visited here a few times years ago and hadn’t heard that there were plans for remodeling. They did a good job. Smoother parking area, nicer paint, furniture and overall structure inside as well.
When you first walk in there’s a hallway to your left which leads to the restrooms, then a cozily lit Seating area complete with nice televisions and couches, also some chairs and tables lining the right side of the room. Directly in front of you would be the bar, it’s sort of an island in the middle. You can’t miss it.
Upon passing the warm fuzzy entrance, the bartender Heather was loudly making jokes about amputees, disabled people and rape/​gang rape victims. She apparently delighted in this while like myself, other patrons seemed to be put off by the disgusting nature of her jokes. *crickets*
She was carding everyone, good job! My ID card was issued about 8 months ago and expired in September, weird but OK. It’s good she spotted that I guess, it shows that they do follow regulations in at least one area. Perhaps that thorough way of doing things carries over the employees that are preparing your food or handling your drinks. Nobody likes food poisoning!
In the time leading up to FINALLY getting carded I noticed the bartender Heather was slow to make drinks. I assume this had to do with her attention being split between carding patrons, an unnerving attempt at stand up and mixing/​pouring drinks. Not to mention she was the only one behind the bar. It wouldn’t have seemed so bad if there wasn’t a big crowd of people waiting uncomfortably to be carded and move on, thanks to our hilarious bartender. Sigh.
There was a 12.00 dollar/​per person cover at the door (I think that’s the regular cover for their live show nights) The setting is nice and there’s plenty of room to bring like 5 – 10 friends with you. Oh and there’s two bars, the one I mentioned and if you continue straight back, there’s another that according to the band member we went to see, is the one that the musicians would all typically hang at. After all, that’s the one nearest to the stage area.
Service is huge to me! So, listening to a woman drone on with inappropriate jokes about gang rape and disabled people for 5 minutes before even asking to see my identification helped to cultivate my one star review.
That one star is for the clean and presentable establishment they’ve created. Now if only they could employ a bartender that is faster at her job and reflects the cleaner, classier image they’ve apparently begun to project.
I do like the idea of giving this joint a second shot, my fiancé and I plan on coming back sometime. I would also recommend this place to friends. Id just say go to the other bar if Heather is on a «roll». And hopefully that chick can come up with less repulsive jokes in the near future. Cheers and syoy ;)

Joe the soundguy is the rudest, most egotistical person I’ve ever had to deal with at a Portland music venue (and that’s saying something). I’d tolerate his bull crap if he actually did good sound. If the panic room doesn’t want to fail and continue on the route its on as a bar with a stage for bands on their way to the gutter the first step is to get rid of that jack wagon.

I have not seen Bar Rescue and I am probably not likely to. Prior to the remodel I thought the décor was heavy and dated. I like the new industrial look. I especially love the Fallout lunch box that is on the shelf in the front. :) I enjoyed the huge video screen playing movies. They have great full menu that they serve all night, which is awesome and the food my friends and I had was really tasty. They should really play this up more. Drink prices are in line with every other place I go and there was plenty to chose from and the selection was well rounded. They have a great patio and best of all, they have their own parking lot with plenty of parking.
As far as the horseshoe shaped bar, perhaps they could hang a sign telling people not to stand in line like idiots. Its not the bartenders fault that people, especially drunk ones, can be so thick. Since when do people not rush the bar? You can’t tell me its because Portland peeps are polite, imo they are not. The staff here are super friendly. And pretty patient with the people who kept queuing up. The sound system is awesome. People need to get over the name change and updated look. These are good people. The venue is great. They bring in great shows and make them sound great. She did leave the bar to get ice, so maybe helping them get ice at the front would be good. But seriously, you’re not patient enough to wait three minutes for her to come back? But yet, you’ll stand in line when she repeated tells you not to.
Everyone should check this place out and don’t forget, don’t stand in line!

So, I finally made it out to the Panic Room after Bar Recue. I did watch the Bar Rescue episode, and yeah, lot’s of dramatic licence there, but Jon Taffer and his show is simply a fraud because he doesn’t actually fix any of the real problems, spends money on cosmetic bullshit, and customers are left with many of the same issues that spoil what could be a great place.
So, the horse shoe bar is a pain point. The show last night was not super well attended, and the back bar was closed. That left everyone heading to the horse shoe bar up front. Now because of the bar, only one person can work at a time, and because of human nature, everyone lines up. Heather Feather encouraged people to surround the bar and hit her with drinks to get people served faster, but that goes against the nature of people in Portland, and she seemed to be encouraging people every time I came up to the bar. Heather is a great bar tender, but there is only so much one person can do with the poor layout of the horse shoe bar. What should happen is the horse shoe bar should be removed, and a bar should be put in against the wall where the video screen is, but, that costs money, and not a small amount, hard for a struggling bar.
Another problem with the bar up front is there is not an ice machine installed in the bar, or at least not a working one, so Heather had to leave to refresh the ice, leaving a line of people waiting for drinks. This mind you while Rod and Joe (who wasn’t running sound) sat chatting on the patio. Seems they really didn’t take the message to heart about helping to make the bar run more smoothly. More so what the bar needs rather than some video system is an ice machine at the front bar. At least my beers were cold last night, which is an improvement!
Another thing is that prices are up, get ready for $ 5 beers, $ 8 whiskeys, etc. Not a huge increase, but up. The patio is still great for hanging out, with picnic tables. I haven’t had anything off the food menu, so can’t comment there. They were piping in netflix movies on the screen, and had the «are you still watching» prompt was displayed a few times and no one seemed to notice for a while.
Much of the interior douchery you see in the episode has been taken back down (most of it). The silly stage rigging stuff is gone (good call), and mostly it is the same Tonic you knew. I live close, and can ride my bike, but I never come here unless there is a show, and I don’t see that changing.
In any event, the «rescue» of this bar is just silly, and the idea the Bar Rescue and Jon Taffer can turn bars around is laughable, very little that matters to actual customers in Portland has changed, Bar Rescue a TV show for entertainment, not for turning bars around. It seems that not much changed. That being said, I will still attend shows that support the local music scene, I’ll be back in a few weeks for another show. It would be great if they would fix some of the outstanding problems with the front bar, because Panic could be a good place to not only see a show, but hang out, but the bar issues need to be addressed.

Horrible food. Horrible music. Rude people. Their loud outside music is an obnoxious intrusion on the neighborhood as well. Would not recommend this place at all. Will never give them my business.

Joe, the «sound guy» bar none is the worst sound guy I have ever met. Hated his egotistical attitude. He had no idea what he was doing. White noise on stage; shit out front.
We will boycott the Panic Room.
Get a real sound person. Get someone with real skill like Heather from Ash Street. She’s 100x the engineer.

Bitchen staff and music. Drinks are decent price. Nice atmosphere. Carlene was a bar maid and was fantastic.

Decent cover price for a show that runs till 2AM. Late night food, Delicious. Fast service. Great service from the back bar bartender. stiff drink. Knowledgable of menu and very helpful. My girlfriend and I had a great experience!

I was on film at this bar for bar rescue. It was really crazy at this bar. After the tv crew left the bartender took her top off! The bartenders do not know how to make cocktails, and 3 people tried to fight my friends and I. I guess lake Oswego people just should not go to that part of town. We’re not welcome there. Seriously. I love john taffer but this bar can not be saved. The neighborhood needs to be rescued first.