AAA Avocados

I have an idea for a store. It’s going to blow your mind. It’s a store that sells ONLY avocados.
Damnit. Someone beat me to it!
I frequently find myself in a situation where I’m throwing a party that requires me to fill a bathtub with guac. In these situations, the problem is usually twofold:
1. Where do I find 600 pounds of avocados?
2. That’s going to cost an inordinate amount of money!
Well, AAA avocados has got you covered. It’s a 600 squarefoot store filled to the ceiling with fresh, delicious, unbruised avocados! When you buy in bulk, there’s an additional discount but when you just need a few they usually run about $ 1 a piece (depending upon availability from their suppliers — damn Hurricane Patricia). They have some ripe and some almost ripe so they got you covered whether you’re ready to fill your guac bathtub immediately or in the near future.
Some tips for avocado usage from a pro:
1. You can tell an avocado is ripe by *gently* squeezing the narrow end. It’s ripe when there is some give (as opposed to hard as a rock).
2. Freshness is indicated when you pop off the little stem nub and it’s green underneath. The fruit is overripe if it appears brown or hollow under the stem.
3. Ripe avocados can be stored safely in the fridge for about a week.
4. My favorite no-​chop/​easy guacamole recipe: take 1 whole avocado (pitted and removed from skin) add garlic powder, salt, red pepper flakes, and cumin powder. Mix and serve with chips.