My friend and I stayed at East Farm House for a couple of nights and although overall we don’t have any major cause for complaint, there are certainly some things that we found a little annoying, that with just a bit of on-going effort from Wendy, the landlady, could be a lot better. Wendy is a fairly chatty host and explained where everything was and how it all works. She told us that breakfast was only from 8.30am until 9.00am and that we had to vacate by 10.30am. At first sight our room looked lovely — very chintzy /lacy with muted floral decorations, paintings of horses and ornaments on every available shelf and surface. There was a large bowl of plastic /dried flowers on the chest of drawers and also on the dresser. Tea and coffee is supplied but no complimentary fruit or a small packet of biscuits or a couple of little chocolates, like you get in most decent B’n’Bs these days. There was no mini fridge either even though there would have been be plenty of room for one in the large walk in wardrobe. I went to have a shower — There was only the smallest of hooks on the back of the door for my clothes — Pointless — Not nearly man enough for the job. Everything had to go on the loo seat. In the shower itself, it took all my strength to turn the water on and when I had finished, I had to come out and get a damp towel to grip the control before I managed to turn it off. Although a good selection of soaps and shampoos is supplied, there is no shelf in the shower cabinet itself. You have to stoop down and put everything on the floor. There is no bath either. I went to clean my teeth — Ooops — No glass provided for water to rinse my mouth — Not even one those ubiquitous disposable plastic glasses. I looked for somewhere to put my makeup bag as there was no shelf above the sink — There was however an old fireplace but the mantelpiece was covered in figurines. I moved one to the side — it was caked in dust. I had to quickly wash my hands again after handling it. Yuk ! Another bowl of plastic flowers filled the disused fireplace — Again, rather dusty. The bed was large, warm and very comfy — No bedside tables but there was plenty of hanging and storage space in the above mentioned walk-in wardrobe. We both slept well but were awoken by a strange intermittent gurgling noise quite early in the morning. On further inspection, we found a large box in the bathroom directly under the cistern. Every time you turned the water on either in the basin or shower or flush the loo, it starts sucking and gulping the waste away. I guess there must be one in the other guests’ rooms too and this was the noise that woke us up. I might add in passing that there was no window in our bathroom, so an extractor fan had been fitted. This too clicked and whirred noisily while in action. Thankfully though, there was a switch to turn it off. My final niggle is about the breakfast — Strickly 8.30am — 9.00am only — So we made sure we were at our seats in plenty of time — Not so our host — We waited 5 mins on the first day and over 10 on the second before she made an appearance. I normally just have toast and marmalade and a cooked English breakfast, so I had no complaints — My friend however is a vegetarian and at home has either a croissant and jam or sometimes yoghurt and a piece of fruit. None of those can be found on Wendy’s breakfast table. Even the cereal is limited to cheap muesli or cornflakes. The location is fantastic, right in the middle of the village, close to all the tea shops and a brilliant wood products shop. The Swannery and Gardens are within easy walking distance. The farmhouse itself is idyllic to look at and there are interesting stables and free parking at the rear. You can also park in a very cheap car park directly opposite, if the farm car park is full. In summary, I would say that East Farm could be a whole lot better with just a little effort from the owners — It really seems like their heart just isn’t in it anymore. Wendy, ditch those plastic flowers, have a thorough spring clean. Get rid of most the«hard to clean» personal clutter and most of all fix that plumbing
