The Broadway

Fantastic night!!! DJ was good. Staff friendly had a great night with friends. Will definitely be back more regularly

When I got to Uckfield my spirits were low. I had grown tired of living in the cut throat world of inner city finance the forced smiles the lonely nights that the big city had to offer. We had just sealed the ‘Gusterson Merger’ but now I had very little enthusiasm for the same business that once greeted me with open arms and a slightly warm, tickling, embrace. Scro-​Ro Industries. I longed for the sweet release of death and so I found myself stumbling down train tracks, bare footed and fueled by a heady cocktail of 5-​Alive and crack. I must have been walking for miles until I reached the end of the line (metaphorically but also because I had actually came to the end of the tracks).Uckfield the sign read. My salvation? My feet were bleeding. I clearly needed medical attention and the crack was only intensifying the pain but i had neither the language resources nor the cleaning products to treat myself sufficiently. I was feeling faint and I stumbled into the nearest doorway.‘Broadway’? I was met by a heavenly choir of the sweetest music my ears ever did hear. A hedonistic wave of LMFAO washed away the pain and knocked me off my feet. I was walking on air. Thats when I saw her. Standing over me. I could see every inch of her toned yet horrifically burnt, skin grafted thighs. She had a wicked smile and eyes that said Hey, can I borrow your heart tonight?
and that body! Before I knew it we were playing Virtua Tonsil Tennis 4 except it was sex and it was real! The cubicles provided us with ample room however a flushing chain was missing and i had to clutch onto the small mechanism to activate the gushing waters that would wash away the log previously dropped by a fellow Uckfield inhabitant. I had two of the clubs Zombie cocktails and blacked out after half an hour. It was over and I stank.

Only good thing about it is, is that its in uckfield and you dont need a taxi out of town!
very bizzare place and am sure all the local teenagers love it.

Apparently this was once offically voted the second worst nightclub in britain and after visiting it I can see why!
The place its self is very small and it is a totall dive and the people inside seem very miserable and moody. This is small town club, with small town people, with a small town mentallity.
The only good thing about it was they had some really cheap drink offerssambucca shots were a pound and a mexican beer verysimilar to sol or coronna was only £1.50 but these did run out very quickly which was a shame as I didnt want to spend much money in this poo hole!