Blackline Trinity

Welcome to the first in two taxi updates. I’ve been increasingly reliant on them recently to cart a lot of stuff around (has anyone ever noticed that kittens have more ‘stuff’ than humans?), and in using them more, I’ve come to be a little critical. So, I have a question. When you ring a taxi office to ask for one, what happens? Are they keen and enthusiastic, warm and happy, or are they about as wilted and uninspiring as a dressed leaf of lettuce that’s been in the fridge for three days?
Hmm, likely it’s the latter. Eileen from Corrie is a fact, not an exaggerated stereotype. Anyway, yesterday I needed to get to SafeStore. I rang. Shall I script it for you? Ooh, let’s do.
Blackline: (Demotivating male voice, interrupted from eating a stale cream bun, watching a fly buzz around the vent and smoking the wrong end of a cigarette) Taxehs.
Me: Hi, I’m just ringing for an enquiry. I need to get some stuff to SafeStore, quite a lot, and I was wondering if you have the facilities —
Blackline: (Cutting me off mid-​sentence) Tell me where yeh travelling from first. Then we’ll see.
Me: Oh. Er, oh, okay. Just off Chapel Street in Salford. But I was wondering, I’ve got a lot of stuff —
Blackline: (Interrupting me again) Nothin for about 45 minutes.
Me: Rrrrright, okay… but do you have the facilities to —
Blackline: (Unintelligible garble. Maybe that cream bun was back in his mouth. I heard something about calling up, and busy.)
Me: Fine, look, thanks for that (sarcasm) — I’ll ring back later or something.
Sometimes you wonder if taxi firms actually *want* your custom. I’d evidently rubbed Stale Cream Bun up the wrong way from the get-​go… whether it was my voice, my request or my interruption of his ear scratching that got to him, the whole thing left me feeling rather deflated and annoyed. And I didn’t get to where I needed to go. That’s like going to a restaurant, sitting at a table and never getting served. I understood that it was rush hour, I was happy to wait but this guy didn’t really give me a chance. Blackline, consider your wrists well and truly slapped!