The Box

Indeed an overwhelming and entertaining experience. Great music, cosy place: the table is a must, unless you like to be squeezed in the crowd. Either way watch out for your belongings, the first time I went there the phone magically disappeared from my pocket. Too bad for the thief who gained a blackberry, now just a collectible! :)

Crazy crazy crazy place.
It’s a weird and very very very expensive place.
The show is weird, guy shaving his dick and balls and another one shitting on scene.

So much weird fun! The staff was amazing. I got pulled up on stage… Too much fun!
Make sure and get there early so you don’t miss any of the show.

Went here for NYE after midnight and all the hype didn’t live up to what I expected. The men at the door are extremely rude and treat everyone like peasants, and then once you’re inside the place is hard to move around because it’s so small and packed with people. Very easy to spill your drink, which costs an arm and a leg. It’s so dark that you can’t tell if the décor is nice or tacky, but I’m sure in the harsh light of day it would be a scare. The girls’ bathroom is always a mission because the drugs that are taking place. I thought the show was going to be entertaining, but it was really boring. So what if there’s a man in drag dancing around on a table. All in all — LAME, especially for the money.

This place is an experience unlike any other I’ve ever been to.
I will be back!

Overpriced for a mediocre show!
Everyone made a huge fuss about The Box so we booked a table for 15 with our team from work, which we were told, would work. Well, the table was one of the booths on the side and fitted maybe 6 people, squeezed together. The table was full with champagne, gin and mixing drinks and nothing else fitted on. The ladies were very attending, making sure everyone had a drink at all times. They were very lovely and did a good job.
The show was mixture of weird plays, striptease/​pole dance and burlesque. It seemed to be a modern version of varietes but not classy which made it lose quality.
There was no way that we hit the quite high spending minimum because everyone left too early to drink much, because most of is thought it was not as special.

I have been to The Box twice, and the first time was great fun. It was the best night out ever! Weird acts on stage, signing, beat boxing, nakedness, acrobats, you name it. I went to the club and smacked on the bum by a girl with a s&m paddle!!! Had a few drinks and just let myself get carried away with the whole mad place.
The second time, however, didn’t seem to be as good. The acts were not as fun or cleverly thought out. The impact of the place didn’t hit home as much. Maybe it’s somewhere you only go once, I’m not sure. We stayed right until the end, at which point the switch the lights off and couldn’t see a thing, ended up taking a tumble down some steps! Ow! They don’t seem to care too much about their customers once the night is over and they have your money.
It wasn’t a rubbish night, don’t get me wrong, but I just don’t think I’ll be going back.

***WARNING***
This review is not for the feint of heart!
In what once was a seedy Soho strip club, the Raymond Revue Bar, there is now a derivative of the oh-​so-​popular New York club, The Box.
Now, I had heard from many friends about this place, but I really did not know if I would like it, love it or hate it. However, I really was not prepared for the spectacle that I experienced on my trip here. I knew that there would be some nudity involved and something a little different. However, without putting too many spoilers into this review, some of the things I experienced here were overwhelming.
I saw —
More nudity than I can even articulate on this upstanding website.
A physically disabled man strip off everything. Including his prosthetic arms.
Numerous transvestites of all shapes and sizes. When an attractive girl casually grabbed me for a kiss at one point… I did scrutinize her in a moment of paranoia before I reciprocated!
I even came eye to eye (if you can call it that) with one blonde girl performer’s body features, that are most probably best reserved for her partner, while she suspended herself upside-​down in front of me from ropes, a few feet away from my seat.
The drinks here are astoundingly expensive. But I was not astounded. What do you expect in such a place? I was actually more than happy to be paying £14 for a Grey Goose & Coke or Maker’s & Coke. I was not charged any admission fee, so I think that is all fair, considering the standards of the place and the quantity of performances that they offer. Perhaps this is a little unfair on those who do choose to drink, versus those who do not choose to drink.
One thing that I did not like about the evening, was that I was presented with a certain «gentleman’s» arrogance when trying to get past him in a crowd. I do hate the odious behaviour that can be exhibited when some big-​shot decides to pay a few grand for a table and fill it with girls that he is trying to impress. And then act like a bully to other people.
I was trying to make my way through the crowd to get to the bathroom. I waited for what seemed like a bladder-​testing eternity for the act to end. The next person that I was greeted with was the aforementioned gentleman who was taking up all of the space in the gangway. As you do in a busy club, I said «Excuse me.» Nothing. I put my left hand on his shoulder and said «Excuse me» as I went to go by him.
He did not give way at all and turned to me and snapped «DO NOT TOUCH ME»!
I said to him, «Excuse me, I would like to get by.»
He snapped back with «I said do not touch me!»
I replied «I asked you nicely and you ignored me.»
«I said do not touch me! GET YOUR HAND OFF ME!!!»
At this point, I decided to keep my hand exactly where it was on his shoulder and say to him in a very calm, level voice «I only want to get by, please move out the way.»
At this point he continued his mantra of «Get your hand off me!»
I turned to the staff member that was stood next to me and asked «What is the problem with this guy?»
With a shrug of the shoulder from the staff member, I turned back to the Insane Path Blocker. At which point he shoved me. So I shoved him back. Hard. Falling over his own feet, he fell on his table, taking the drinks out with him.
I did not bother to turn back… I needed the bathroom too badly! I did notice that the staff member enjoyed a laugh though. When I did get back down to the main room, he and his entourage of women (ladies of the night?) had gone. Nothing. Maybe it was an Only Fools and Horses «Drink up Trig, we’re leaving!» moment or perhaps the staff member turfed them out onto the street?
Back to the action, the rest of the evening went with such a mêlée of fun and spectacle, that before I knew it, my accomplice for the evening and I were sharing a cab home at dawn.
Most probably the most intense night I will ever have in London. Worth saving for my 300^th Unilocal review.

Highly recommend staying away from this place. It seems to be run by a bunch of Russian mobsters who take every opportunity to mess with the clientelle. From a rude and arrogant attitude at the door (even towards people that have dropped GBP1000 to reserve a table), to pushing and shoving inside an already too crowded venue. Our experience reached its crescendo when one of the Russian security guards there started throwing our drinks on the floor every time we turned our back to them. I guess he was trying to mess with us? Make us buy more drinks? Who knows. In any event, we have a policy of staying away from venues that disrespect and abuse their clientele, meaning we will not be returning here again.
By the way, the show itself oscillated between lame and gross, culminating with a completely nude girl inserting scissors into her vagina in what appeared to be an abortion scene. I’m no prude, but that’s just disgusting.
All in all, a horrible experience.

A weak copy of the NY Box. Maybe it will get better with time. I’m told Raven is better in leading the show but wasn’t there when I was. I would think the raunchiness would translate well with British humour but for some reason I like the Manhattan Box much better — maybe it’s just the performers. No reason to go before 1:00 AM but then it can heat up and be fairly enjoyable. There are lots of fetish and S&M parties in London that offer better entertainment with much cheaper champagne.

The single best nightlife offering London has! The Box is a creative, sexy, raunchy Burlesque bar where pretty much anything goes.
tip: when Raven the ringmaster is in town, the show is better.

This is the place where seriously up-​for-​it (and well off) people go to dress preppy chic and act wild. The one thing that is accessible about this place is the dancing the regular party music policy and series of little round or curvy shaped raised areas around the main room to let yourself go on. As for the ‘cabaret’, it reminded me of the kind of naughtily-​artistic Victorian tableaux featured in the film Sirens except with stylised movements and curtains closing when it got interesting. The Hugh Grant and Elle MacPherson like characters seemed like the naked equivalents of many of those in the audience. The sets were short, mere interludes in the dancing fun and not so shocking really; maybe you can blame the place for its media hype, but in any other club the mini-​shows could be an exotic added extra rather than a disapointment! The drinks are not (of course) good value and you’re supposed to drink spirits and cocktails the only wine is Chardonnay at £40. Reserve a table in a larger group when you’ve a special celebrity guest (or corporate occasion which mustn’t appear like that) or If you just want to be assured of admission for a big minimum spend and large dent in your morning bank balance; there are no ideal seats for twos or threes. I asked a smart single older guy at the bar how he got into the Club without the two glamourous young women friends that facilitated my entry, and he said it was OK once you were known to be a regular spending customer. Fair enough as there is no real West End competition to the Box at present; it’s in a market of one.

Looking for obscenely decadent late night fun?
The Box is over the top London at its finest. It’s part night-​club, part Burlesque show and part weird sex performance theatre. Go with an open mind, a full wallet, and a willingness to drink heavily and you will have a rocking time. Yes you will see lots of oiled up naked women dancing above bathtubs, pre-​op transvestites doing unmentionables with bottles of champagnes, and perhaps a royal or two.
The Box is somewhere between ridiculously and absurdly expensive — try £3000 for a table on a weekend night. However, this gets you into a jumping venue with a great dj and of course multiple live «performances.» The happening and surprisingly friendly crowd is definitely willing to party and dance the night away.
Tip try not to get a front row table for the performances — its akin to the «splash zone» at Seaworld, only here there is a very good chance you will either get covered in baby powder cocaine or soiled with back-​washed champagne that came out of a non-​mouth orifice — yeah, don’t ask!

The Box… an unmarked venue with foreboding wooden doors tucked away down a typically Soho side-​street.
Although not much from the outside, step in and you’ll be transported into an unexpectedly luxurious world of burlesque and cabaret fun. Ladies wait to greet you, take your coat and coax you into spending money and having a good time :)
The entertainment in The Box is fantastic with a mix of dancers, singers, acrobats and roller-​skating couples all vying to wow the crowd. It’s laid out over 2 floors with a main bar, stage and podium on the ground and a smaller bar with four-​poster bed on the first (there’s also a smoking area up here).
Bear in mind that this place is EXPENSIVE — table reservations costing around £3k a pop. Thankfully I went with work so didn’t need to re-​mortgage the house in exchange for a night out! Makes a great venue for a corporate function but is perhaps a little small if there’s more than 150 of you.
All in all great fun — seedy but opulent and a real experience!

You can tell your friends you have been… it looks nice. the DJ is good.
ONLY GOOD THINGS.
This place takes itself so monumentally seriously it really is something else. The compere is unwatchable he is that egotistical, and the show is all fluff. Pre-​midnight, you’re treated to poorly sung renditions of ‘come together’ whilst the gay compere writhes around a bit, but If you’re in the mood hang around after 1am and you’ll see a man stick a bottle of JD up his arse. its TOTALLY worth spending up of £3k a table.
Go down the street from there, you can get a bottle of JD for what. £15. you can get MANY a willing particilant to sing Beatles songs AND many participants who will stick pretty much anything up their arses and you’ll save yourself £2985.
Darlings, its soho, play the game a little better.
Sorry Unilocal,but I really REALLY got annoyed by this place!

Opening in January and shooting in instant infamy, The Box is currently arguably the best, most exclusive club in London. If someone offers you the opportunity to go, I seriously suggest you take it! Good vibes, good music and outrageously scandalous cabaret-​esque shows throughout the night you are almost 100% guaranteed to have a good time.
Check out my fuller review here: