Munch & Crunch

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here…
The first battle was with the door. It’s a heavy sliding glass thing that took two of us to move. Then, we were hit with a smell that wasn’t completely unpleasant, but was just the wrong side of identifiable for a bakery. Perhaps something frying in old oil???
We walked past the huge celebration cakes on display to the sandwich counter at the back. Some poor chap was desperately trying to convey the fact that he wanted salad IN his sandwich. The girl behind the counter thought he wanted a salad instead of a sandwich. On the side of a sandwich. Near a sandwich. No salad at all. Sausage roll? I started drawing a diagram on a napkin. The chap started sobbing quietly.
So, expecting a bit of a comms issue, we studied the board very carefully to see how to convey our order. We asked what bread options were on offer, but the girl said that she was at the end of her shift and so couldn’t help us. Not even to say the words «baguette or white bread»? No, she was at the end of her shift, another girl would be there now. (We had a difference of opinion of the technical definition of ‘now’ — she thought it mean «within 5 minutes»).
So, we made our choices and as soon as we had a functioning person to speak to, we placed our order…
«One tuna baguette please» my friend said.
«Chicken baguette» came the slightly surprising reply.
«No, tuna».
«No tuna»
«Yes, tuna»
«No tuna»
«huh?»
“No tuna. Chicken”
…cut to five minutes later as I had the girl in a stranglehold…
«No tuna, only chicken left».
«We don’t want chicken»
«Yes, lots of chicken»
«No chicken, do you have eggs?»
«Yes we have chicken».
«Great, did it lay any eggs?»
«No egg, only chicken».
She may have said more, but we were trying to shift the industrial pane of glass at the front in order to exit and didn’t hear her over our weightlifting grunts.