Stewart’s Victorian Tea Rooms

So it’s been a while since I was here (maybe 6 months). I’m reviewing now because I someone asked me about it recently, and I ended up describing it to them exactly as someone else described it to me: «a bit like Fawlty Towers».
It’s not that it isn’t nice, but there’s definitely something a little bit queer about Stewart’s. The manager man hovered round us singing along to the opera music and twitching napkins. The cakes seemed to be shop-​bought and the whole vibe was a bit like when you go to someone else’s nana’s house for tea after school.
It’s definitely not the sophisticated and refined establishment I expected from what I’d seen online, but if you’re amused by the bizarre then a visit might be worth it.

Popped in yesterday for high tea with a friend — what a lovely place! I had fishcakes and my friend had a goats cheese tartlet (these were our two choices from an itison voucher); both were fabulous, as were the scones with clotted cream and jam. The décor was a bit quirky, but very cosy and the tea room’s Merchant City location is quite convenient. This will definitely be the place I take our out-​of-​town visitors in the future, especially those of the female persuasion — the magic of an afternoon tea isn’t always immediately apparent to the blokes.
It looks like the roadworks on Glassford Street are almost finished, but the pavement is still a bit of a mess outside. Tread carefully.

I noticed this place during the Merchant City Festival and I thought I just HAVE to take my mum here for her birthday where we could be proper ladies. Mum loves all things of ye olden times especially the Victorian period and a nice spread so I thought this would be right up her street.
Her birthday arrived and I met her in George Square where she was surrounded by bag pipers practising. She was surprisingly quite the thing. I suggested there as the tea rooms aren’t far from George Square.
We arrived and mum knew before she entered she was going to like this place going by the people in the window have traditional tea and cake on tiers.
The tea room was mostly filled with ladies so we certainly fitted in well. We got a seat for 2 and were given a menu with plenty to choose from, afternoon tea, high tea or tea for two but we settled for something different. I had what felt a never ending pot of Darjeeling and my mum had Camomile. It was absolutely delicious! I knew it wasn’t going to be cheap but for a wee treat it was definitely worth it.
The walls were filled with strange portraits, I got a lovely view of portraits with people with dogs for heads. Weird! They also played quite loud classical music and it was funny when my mum pointed out a tune.
She said «Do you not recognise this?»
Me: «Aye mum, it’s a familiar classical piece I’ve heard umpteen times»
Mum: «Do you not recognise the film it’s from?»
Me: «Er… no!»
Mum: «It’s from The Ladykillers.»
Me: «Ok, sharp exit then.»
Hehe! Luckily no dodgy looking men with instrument cases showed up.
I definitely will be back and next time I think we’ll be having high tea, I want a cream tea with proper scones and jam on cake tiers and I’m sure I’ll not be disappointed.

very impressive: all homemade delights, and very generous portions. Look out for the quirky selection of portraits on the walls!