Royal Albion Hotel

The Albion Hotel holds a special place in my heart. We had our wedding reception here and we were thoroughly looked after by the staff. From start to finish, it was a smooth transaction. I was also impressed with the rooms we had when we stayed over. We were offered a discount as well. I will always sing praise for this hotel.
I have had a visit since then. My friends and I went to the bar and seated where we can see the pier and the Brighton Wheel. The place looks pristine and well looked after and the staff are polite and friendly.

I’ve always been told to sandwich negativity between compliments, to make it not sound so bad.
Positive —
So, the location is good. It’s right at the end of the Brighton Pier.
Negatives–
NEEDS MODERNISING… By about 40 years! Our room was a split-​level family room, with the world’s smallest double bed, a CRT television from 1970, and an en suite as you walk in, with a mezzanine containing 2 single beds and a completely ineffective air conditioning unit. The small double bed was a problem, because I’m massive. I suppose it might not be that much of an issue to their normal customers, (we shared a lift with 3 of them yesterday who had the combined age of 812).
The same problem occurs when you go in to the bathroom, I lack the flexibility to be able to fit in the shower without my head banging on the ceiling, let along underneath the shower head itself. This is fine, if you only want to wash below your navel.
The communal areas have paint chipping off the walls and damp patches, with signs apologising to guests. How about getting some decorators in so you don’t need to apologise? the signs say it’s ‘storm damage’, but I don’t remember hurricane Katrina getting as far as Brighton.
The menu in the ‘restaurant’ is 100% deep fat fried. If you like burgers, fish or chips, this is your place.
Positive — our room was clean.
In summary, if you are short and skinny, and need a bed or 3 in Brighton, and you have a certain nostalgia for faded pink carpets, dark wood and TVs that need tubes, this is your kind of hotel. Unfortunately, it wasn’t mine.

Awful. Rude front desk staff, run down, over priced. Bath with bubble jets barely worked, but when it did the water shot out the bath onto the floor. Generally not very clean, and the tv in the room did not work. Lumpy bed made the experience all round poor.

This is a review of the bar and restaurant. I’ve not stayed here, though I’ve seen the rooms. They’re fine, in a slightly grand-​dame-​y way. 3 stars, most likely. Though with the slightest hint of sun there’s a distinct lack of oxygen, not to mention a distinct lack of ability to open windows.
But the food. And the service.
Chips: raw. As in, crunchy on the inside and soft and soggy on the outside. Thaw oven chips and them warm them in the microwave for a dozen seconds.
Burgers: soya-​laden and leathery. Now, I like soya burgers, most of the time, but not when they’re replacing 70% of the meat. Everything’s clearly come from a freezer and cooked within an inch of its life.
The bar.
Service: Terrible. In a «I took your order, then went and took someone else’s order, then came back to you». See also: Surly.
The beer: Well, there’s the broad selection of Carlsberg, Carlsberg Export Extra Cold, San Miguel, and Guinness. The absolute worst pint of Guinness I’ve ever had — both flat and flavourless. The lagers? They all had an off taste. Even the Carlsberg, which is meant to sort of taste watery. Described variously as «covered with arse-​ejected pixie dust» and «mouldy lines». At best, these are from kegs stored in the sunlight and past their sell-​by date. At worst: doesn’t bear thinking.
So. The Royal Albion. Don’t. Not for food. Not for drinks, but maybe for the room (but bring your own oxygen supply)

Search for pics on the internet — they gild the lily of reality. It still looks like a fine and imposing building from outside, but also one that’s seen better days.
Which is this review in three words; a once-​grand hotel that, in all senses of the phrase, has «seen better days».
We checked in and were immediately met with a woman complaining about a stained chair with a torn cushion. The chair had seen better days. The stressed staff were not dealing with what was a fairly simple situation (get a new chair) at all well. They then proceeded to fluff up our bookings and faff about for as long as possible before sorting everything out.
Our rooms varied greatly in quality. One was lovely — on a corner of the building, well lit and quite well maintained, with fantastic views over Brighton Pier and the sea, through dirty windows. Another was a dingy afterthought of a room with a window overlooking a close expanse of brick wall, through a dirty window. The en-​suite bathrooms had seen better etc.
The food looked vile and smelled like school dinners, a simile that upon writing makes me want to apologise to my old dinner-​ladies. Some of them might have been staying here at the time, but they would have been lost in a sea of blue rinse and wrinkles. It seems to be a hotel greatly favoured by the SAGA set. There were legions of pensioners, who had all witnessed more favourable periods of 24 hours.
A mischievous part of me wanted to run into the bar and shout «BINGO!» at the top of my lungs, but I didn’t want to be responsible for mass-​murder.
I’m reliably informed that this is one of the cheaper Brighton hotels and you gets what you pays for. Which is a clean bed to sleep in at a genuinely brilliant sea-​front location, in walking distance of the town and Lanes.

Not one of the worst hotels i’ve stayed in, but considering The royal Albion sounds like it should be a 5 star hotel and it barely scrapes a 2…
After checking in with the helpful and polite staff who told us we had could park our car 10 minutes down the road in an overnight car park which we paid £20 for… we went up to our room on level 3, on the way we passed 2 floors of empty glasses and bottles, and piles of dirty towels and washing… this was at 3:30pm and considering check in is 3pm all the servicing of the rooms should have at this time been done.
On entering our room, it appeared clean, and basic, and the beds were made, However, on entering the bathroom, the floor was dirty in the corners and also the towels had brown rusty water (i hope) stains all over them, as previously stated in another review, our ‘spa’ bath also did not work, and the toilet flush was so feeble that after one use it got blocked, our TV was also not working although they did have a sign in reception stating their TV reception that day was particularly bad and an engineer had been called.
We were in Brighton for a gig, so after staying out in a bar until 4am… we actually missed breakfast so i cannot comment on the quality of the food, and from what i’ve read i’m glad i had a lay in!
Overall, you get what you pay for…£71 for a triple room on a sunday night in the heart of Brighton is not too bad… although clean towels and a hygenic bathroom wouldn’t have gone amiss.

I haven’t actually stayed here, but spent some time here as my grandparents sayed here when they visited me and I spent two weeks a few years ago caring for a very elderly blind lady who was a guest (an emergency situation in which the managers told her family she would have to leave unless somone could help her — I got the impression they weren’t too patient…). The hotel has a great location and oozes that faded glamour that so many of Brigton old seaside buildings do. Walk through the reception and sit in the lounge, and you’ll find red carpets, dark woods, huge windows and high ceilings. This is probably the nicest part of the hotel, offering seaviews and a great surrounding to enjoy a drink in. The basement toilets are also very flash, you’ll even find boxes of tissues! The downer is the actual bedrooms, which are worn out and well in need of some tlc. But I’ve come to expect that from these kinda hotels, where the running costs for the old buildings are huge and the clientale (families in summer and turkey n tinsel weekending older folk in winter) just doesn’t bring in kind of funds these hotels used to make. Overall, recommended.

For the location of this hotel you would expect a better effort. Dated, old fashioned and the smell coming from the dining area smelt like the kind of food they dish up in old peoples homes! The t. v and the spa bath didn’t work in my room and I was promised they would either be serviced or they would find me another room, neither happened!!! All in all very disapointed with this place and certainly not worth the money as there are cheaper hotels of a higher quality in the same location!

This place is such a cute hotel and has the grand feeling to it that you would expect from a PROPER seaside hotel. I stayed here for my sister-​in-​laws hen weekend and it really did add a touch of glamour to the whole trip. Yep I have to agree with Suzie, it is getting a little tatty in some of the rooms but value for money and the history in the place make it perfect. It’s also right by the pier, making it very romantic!

Its very grand looking, but its pretty much you’re standard hotel, nothing to write home about. Word of warning, do not eat at their buffet. The food served is dismal and is worse than a school dinner. But overall, nice building and great beach location.

Great location! Not to far a stumble from the seafront clubs!
Old fashioned but the beds are comfy and the bathrooms are modern. The staff are lovely and very helpful!

Superbly located hotel.
Right on the seafront and by the pier.
The hotel inside is a little dated for my liking, a bit old fashioned. But to be fair, it has everything you need.
Staff were nice and helpful.
Prices vary.
You’re definately paying for the location –it is excellent for sightseeing, beach, shopping and going out.
What more could you ask? x
I wouldnt stay anywhere else!
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