Kissmekwik

This is the only place I come to for greeting cards, in fact I come here just to cheer myself up from time to time. You’ll spot me hanging out in the aisles doubled over with laughter. I suppose you have to have an open mind and a slightly perverse sense of humour, a la Vic Reeves let’s say. Grandma isn’t going to find her Hallmark forever friends cards in here. Think cowboy with human-​sized rooster on a leash with the strapline that reads ‘this man has a huge cock’ and you’ve got a better idea.
These are the cards your friends are NEVER going to throw away, they’re far too original, but if you want to make sure they’re stuck with the lewd or crude message of your choice, then go for a mug, keyring or perhaps a coaster.

With a name like Kiss Me Kwik, I knew there had to be something slightly different about it. From the outside, one could see that it was a card and gift store, but what’s inside isn’t your usual sort of card or gift. No, these are funny greeting cards. And I’m not going to put funny in quotations, because some of these cards are actually quite humorous. Some cards are mild in their messages, and others are… well… not. There’s a large variety of cards for any special occasion, and it’s a good place to go to if, for example, it’s your alcoholic uncles birthday, and you want to get him a birthday card that points out his alcoholism, but does it in a humorous way so he doesn’t feel as though he’s being put through an intervention. In addition to cards, they also sell small gifts — mugs, coasters, keyrings.