Everwell Chinese Medical

Note to self — this does not bode as a good present for anyone.
I insisted my mum and my sister went here for a treat and I would pay and everyone would be all relaxed after it. As a place that has MASSAGE below the title, I figured «that must be relaxing». So I booked them in for a massage and I toddled on around the town while they were massagered (or whatever the past tense verb is… just massaged right? or massured?)
Anyways, they had a bunch of massages and various other melarky in the window that I would have no interest in whatsoever but seeing as women tend to like that sort of thing, what should I care?
They were an hour getting all rubbed and relaxed and sorted and meeting them after, there was no discernable difference. No one turned into Jennifer Lopez. No one felt that relaxed. No one was totally changed. They said it was nice but they weren’t comfortable… which I was were to find the core part of a massage, it is that it is supposed to be relaxed.
Therefore, that suggested to me that it was a waste of money. They said it was nice but it was different. Different usually means bad. Perhaps massages only work in those fancy spa weekends you see on the OC. They seemingly don’t work in Belfast beside the Fonemedics and around the corner from Ann Summers.