Alderney

it’s better than guernsey

First of all, an apology. it is not normal to attempt a review of an entire ISLAND, but, when the island is smaller than some parks I have known, an overall view is possible — and in its tiny way (Alderney is only three miles long and, at best one-​and-​a-​half wide), Alderney is a total gem. We are all, of course, aware of Jersey and Guernsey and even Sark for its car-​free status (they cheat they have TRACTORS instead!). Alderney, however is almost secretive, and for the good reason that no-​one there wishes it to be spoiled. So, if you like my review and choose to visit, please do it with care!
To begin then Alderney combines everything that reminds one of The Good Old Days, summer country fields, gull-​strewn cliffs, golden arcs of beaches, wild inland areas, winding country lanes and intimate housing on cobbled streets. Yet there is more, so much more
The main harbour is blessed with a mightily impressive breakwater. The single largest feature on the island, which protects the yachts, the fishing vessels and the egg-​yolk gold sands of Braye Bay. Above and around the harbour bulk the remains of the German fortifications from World War Two. The resident Aurignians have a wondrous laissez-​faire attitude to this part of their heritage they simply ignore the hell out of it, and trust that, in time, it will simply erode away. From the harbour there also runs a railway — the only one in the Channel Islands. Normally it operates with a tiny tank engine and a couple of London Underground carriages. The train runs at a squeaking, crawling pace up to Mannez Quarry, where picnics are a speciality, and Quarry Parties (the Alderney equivalent of a rave) take place in Summer. St. Anne’s, the town of the island, hosts several fine bars, and a choice of fine (guess what) fish restaurants. Alderney also has a fine golf course, and a wonderfully bizarre Cricket Pitch The Butts, where any four or six ball is likely to disappear off the side of the entire island. The view from the Butts is stunning, along the spine of the island to Corblets and Longis Bays. A major part of the islands leisure time is also spent on fishing, both from the beaches (night fishing on Platte Saline is an island speciality) or from the many fishing boats. Sea-​bass, pollock, moray eels, mackerel, lemon sole and many forms of other delectable
seafood may be caught, and if you are fortunate, hoteliers and restaurants will cook your catch for you, in their most stylish way.
Accommodation on the island is quaint and old-​fashioned, though the hospitality is warm and good-​natured. Alderney normally only has one policeman, and the crime rate is so low that natives are astonished if you lock a door. The general hospitality is such that virtually everyone socialises in the bars at night, or simply ambles through the streets in search of good company. Although the standard description of Alderney as Two thousand alcoholics dangling off a rock is perhaps overstated, it does contain a certain truth. There is enough French atmosphere on the island to generate a definite joie de vivre.
The one drawback to the island is its tantalising remoteness. When visiting (unless you have a friend with a floating Gin Palace or maybe a Cessna) your likely mode of travel to the island is via Aurigny airlines — a group of small, much loved, slightly scruffy yellow Trislanders, and their prices for a return ticket are NOT CHEAP. Nonetheless, this does help keep the island a little exclusive, and if you are visiting the island I hope, as I am sure that THEY do, that you are doing it for all the right reasons. As one resident said to me: There’s no word in our language for hen parties …