Mpire Club

Had no idea this place existed. This was my first time at an establishment like this and I think it was a good choice for a first timer. There’s a two drink minimum and they charge gratuity for more than two people I believe. The girls were pretty good dancers but it got kind of boring and monotonous. Also, the music wasn’t that great. After their dance, each girl comes around with her thigh out to thank you for watching (basically to ask for a tip) they are really sweet and you really feel bad if you don’t at least don’t give them a dollar! Lol I think this would be a great place to go as a couple or after work to destress.

Great place. Been there twice in the last mouth and the entire crew was really cool. My girl and I will for sure be back!!!

So I have not been down on M Street for awhile, kinda crazy turn of events led to me going in here. This is a classy club and it was clean so I stayed for a drink and to watch the entertainment. The food (rice balls and lamb sandwich) where good. The entertainers where beautiful and most were very friendly. Great place to take clients who like this type of entertainment. If your go there ask for Kate, she has a combination wit and looks that are worth stopping by to see. I don’t understand the other low ratings but I would go back.

So I stumbled here trying to go to Camelot and realizing they close at 12 am. This place was 2 doors down and didn’t have a cover so why the hell not, first I was taken a back by the small crowd and individualized attention the girls gave the guys in a non pushy (for tips) way!
I also came to find out on busy nights there were two more floors I hadn’t even seen that include a all glass encased shower. This all said one of the other things I noticed right away was the classy atmosphere and no one running around in a g string/​bra all wasted and grabbing my boobs. This happens a lot and even earlier that night at good guys to me. The man at the door was very dressy and so were the women. I noticed to they had an eclectic variety of skin tone and body style dancers. All very top notch for nova/​dc area typical strippers. They were all very kind, outgoing and honestly stunning.
The bartenders had very heavy pours on the shots and were super friendly too. The bouncers were protective of the girls but laid back at the same time which was über refreshing to see too. (One came and collected the singles as the girl was up on the poll and tucked them into her purse!) the front door staff was phenomenal too, I can’t wait to go back honestly. This time to see the main floor and upstairs/​shower area!!!
All and all I don’t, wait CAN’T comprehend why the reviews are so negative.
Maybe men came and didn’t feel they got enough for their money but you pay for the show and I can tell you it was worth it. Plus they don’t have a necessary drink in front of you requirement which is cheesy imho. I also came with two other guys and they had a blast too!!!
For dc prices this was well worth the cost. I think this is my new favorite adult club in the area!!!
All this was on a Sunday of all days too. Keep it up this place is amazing!!!

I tried to get in twice and failed, because the management is SUPER UPTIGHT! The bouncers do have to loosen up. The first time I tried I didn’t know about the no sneakers rule (nothing on the front door that said so). The second time the bouncer said
I had an «odor» and couldn’t get in. I told him I was wearing cologne and had one beer 3 hours before. I have been to Good Guys, Camelot, Archibalds, and Royal Palace and never had issues like this. He still wouldn’t let me in so I walked to Camelot right next door and had a GREAT time. #booyah

Stay far away from this place. Mpire is a sad excuse for a strip club. The only good thing about this place is the door people. They provided more entertainment than what was going on inside as for long periods of time there were no dancers even dancing. Go to Camelot next door or even Archibalds. Crystal City Restaurant is far superior.

We were in D.C. for a day, seeing we were invited to a wedding. Now earlier we did the reception thing at The Beacon Hotel where we enjoyed a great meal. Now while enjoying some cocktails at the hotel we were getting a good buzz going on we had asked about the D.C. nightlife. We had asked several bartenders where we could go see some of the female talent D.C. had to offer.
Basically we wanted to see some failed ballerinas who couldn’t make it to the big show and settle for a brass pole instead. We were given several spots, but they all recommended this place, «Mpire» for the best talent around.
The main entrance area looks like this is the upper echelon of the exotic dancing world that was roped off with the «No Sneakers» rule posted up as you enter. Now this place is small, I am pretty sure it was once a row home converted into a club. There are 2 floors to Mpire, which clearly it is like night and day depending on where you choose to venture off to sit.
The First Floor ~ (Main Entrance)
Dark, and dreary with a main bar in the middle supported by 2 round dance stages. Yes the dancers are fully naked in here with bouncers standing off making sure the ladies are safe. This is the like the dirty dive bar section of this establishment, dark and dreary.
The Second Floor~
Here is why I refer to it as «Night and Day», the second floor is bright and clean! It still has the same layout downstairs with the bar in the middle with the 2 stages on the side. I am thinking this is the VIP section of the club. We did get bottle service while we were upstairs, you’d figure you’d get some kind of leeway. The dancers would rotate from upstairs to downstairs so you can take witness to all of them .
Now what sets this place different from all the others, being they are fully nude you are not permitted to touch them even at the couch dances. That’s right you sit there and watch, and she is pretty much like a foot away from you and that’s it basically.
You can get away with a little touch of a boobie if you didn’t feel like making it rain over top of her. You have to be «ninja-​esk» about it, while you are tipping her you can do a subtle swipe of an Index to Pinkie finger while giving her that all mighty dollar. Myself I would place the dollar on my head where she would have to figure out a way to earn that Washington where my hands could not be a part of the transaction. Sometimes it pays to shave your head.
This is really a 2 star joint, the reason for the 3^rd star is the showers they have over top of you, which is visible to the patrons who are there. Its located on the second floor with 2 showers located at each end of the of the bar. The ladies go inside an all glass encased stall and start dancing while you guess it, taking a shower.
Hey go in and take a look if you want, they do have some beautiful women, and then there are some that don’t belong there. As far as bottle service they were pretty good about it, so I can’t fault them on that.

Really ugly girls. Razor burns around their crotches and weird bumps. I would not recommend going here. It’s an expensive rip-​off. Plus the bouncers have some sort of a napoleon complex and think they’re the shit even though they’re actually just assholes.

This club is ridiculously small on each floor, hardly anyone is ever in here (Well that’s OK since maybe about 15 people can fit inside of the entire club at a given time). I’ve been to the club on two occasions, because I thought maybe the first time was a dud. If I could give it a –1 rating I would.
The service is slow and terrible, the drinks are way too expensive, the dancers are… meh. Save your money and go elsewhere.

Great, modern club. A needed addition to DC. Dancers are great. Only club in DC I know with dual showers!
Solid drinks, though they stretch a little with the cocktails.
Sit downstairs for a chill atmosphere, upstairs for a little more energy.
They have few kinks to work out, but definitely more interesting than other clubs.

Small… VERY SMALL. Girls are ok looking. Some look bored to be at work. The long gown thing is cumbersome. Don’t do VIP. There isn’t anything special about it. GO TO CAMELOT. RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

Very impressed with the décor, food and dancers. I felt very comfortable being a woman there and had a great time. Would definitely recommend for a fun night out in DC!

Went here in more then one occasion: (not anymore! Rather go to Camelot or Archis)
Pros: inside the club looks good (so far), and the location is convenient.
Cons: service is really bad! Dancers are not friendly, i over heard them talking trash about a dancer who is also managing them!
Drinks are poorly made and are way pricy!
Their food plates are crazy small and not that good to begin with.
Don’t think the owners know how to run this place! They are not consistence at all. Met one of them (Frank!!) who claimed to be a part owner and was criticizing other partners!!! How very professional.
Again try Camelot or Archis, both are very close

If you want to be bullied by wannabe Russian mobsters this is the «soviet gentlemans» club to go to.
Pretty sure this place hates America.