Derek And Y’s Crib

So I call my friend Derek at 1:00 AM because I lost my keys stumbling home from a bar and he finally answers after like SIX tries!
The service was terrible. I get there and have to request a beer without being asked first. (As if I was a nuisance or something). He kept trying to go to back to bed in the middle of my 6^th slurred, long-​winded rant. Oh yeah, AND his girlfriend didn’t even get out of bed to welcome me.
Speaking of bed: i see a blanket tossed hastily onto the couch, topped off with an obviously unfluffed pillow.
As for breakfast, I sent them a gentle reminder text that breakfast doesn’t make itself, and guess what: No response! As I fought off tears wondering why this could be happening to me, i found the willpower to grab their newspaper and take a dump in their facility… You guessed it! No 2-​ply!
Overall: I didn’t even feel like a guest. I only get to do this to them like once a week but was made to feel like it happens every day.
Negative infinity stars if I could!