Jets Pizza

Do yourself a favor and eat this on the toilet if you value your upholstery. This pizza is crap. If you like this, you’re doing it wrong.
I give them an extra star for disguising Malaria as dough.

I have been eating pizza since I was five and am very picky about which places I like. Jet’s has good cheese, good sauce, good toppings, and the pan style crust is excellent. What’s not to like. Their hand tossed is not bad, either.

Simply crap. Do you know those $.99 pizzas in the frozen food section produced on a conveyor belt in some factory in Fargo? – Jet’s is worse than those awful reminders of college-​day poverty. I ordered a medium pizza and a sub. The pizza was memorable because of its non-​taste. The sub was memorable because I wouldn’t feed it to a dog whose shit I stepped in. The sub bread was old, untoasted and contained huge amounts of withered lettuce. Aside from the lettuce and diced tomatoes, there was possible a few pieces of nasty meat. After eating three bites you’d think I’d eaten a handful of cotton balls, seeing how dry my mouth was. The pizza — a lukewarm circle of wet garbage. I cannot fathom how they made this food? Did they intentionally put forth extreme effort to create undigestable food just to spite the local consumers? Was this some employees last day? Was the oven down and a dirty microwave had to suffice? I would rather eat spam on blueberry bagels for the rest of my life after experiencing jet’s gruel. Prison food. Fake rubber food that dietitians use for presentations. A homeless man’s dreadlocked pubic hair. Better than a jets sub. Yep. Better.