Shit Hole Piece Of Crap

Why didn’t the Greenwood arsonist burn this down instead of the mediocre Phở place and the not-​so-​cleverly-​named Olive You?

Posted by Todd L. in ⁴⁄₀₈: According to the City of Seattle, Shit Hole Piece of Crap can stand as such for up to two years.
OK! It’s been two years since that comment; WTF is happening? Looks like something going on — or are all those paint cans sitting around just props?
Is anything every going to happen with good-​olé-​SHPOC?

All these reviews are great, and even amusing…
But can someone help me get OUT of here? Help. Stranded. Please.

As much as I admire the juxtaposition argument (ugly building, moderately nice neighborhood), as a true SHPOC this building is just average. Alright. So-​so.
As a benchmark, I would recommend that Unilocaler’s looking for true SHPOC go to a certain railroad crossing gatehouse in Serbia, near the Romanian border, where my Australian cohort forced us into staying one evening as a result of crashing our rental Yugo through the crossing arm. But the gatehouse itself was the Taj Mahal compared to the outhouse I found myself visiting due to food-​poisoning picked up by eating mini-​plums in Romania. As the guard explained to us in broken English-​Serbo-​Croat when asked where the toilet was, «Follow the piles of shit.»

Now it is not as crappy. And that is crap!
Zipzap Zubidy Crap!

In honor of SHPOC’s honorary placement on art avatar Friday, I’m writing an update.
It is no longer just a place, a thing, a symbol.
It is a movement, a gathering, a tradition.
But it is still cool that Matt R finally reviewed my mom! *tear*
See you all at the next SHPOC HH!

The «closed» sign in the window undermines the overall welcoming feel. I defy you to find a better place to shoot your upcoming snuff film.

A few years back before the «Espresso» place and after the Pizza hut… I got shoved off the road by about 4 SPD cruiser and 3 of them already parked in front with their assault rifles drawn… WTF?!? the place was shut down or in transition or something…
I love this place I will be back for future run ins with ARs and SPD…
Its a date…

geez. The place looks like a where Magda-​on-​crack might have house squatted.
Oh Magda, I hope the cigarettes and sun are treating you well…

It’s like the awkwardly-​ugly chick in junior high– so much potential… then she blossoms, and everyone wants to see her jump in P.E.

The shit hole piece of crap is famous! I hear it will have a starring role in the new Grand Theft Auto game! Let the shit rise to the top!!!
The shithole piece of crap also sports a secret entrance and inside there is a velvet lined elevator that takes you down to a secret underground opium den!
I hope this place continues to serve its purpose of driving down the value of all the nearby overpriced real estate!

Some people don’t truly take the time to appreciate a good example of shit hole piece of crap architecture.
I do.
In Seattle, we have precious little urban blight. Back home in Detroit, this architecture was everywhere. And I, for one, miss it. The graffiti. The CLOSED sign signifying that the empty building is, in fact, not open for business. That weird scum that collects on the inside of the windows. The condoms and wrappers that gravitate to the parking lots despite the fence. The fence surrounding the unused building — to ensure that it remains unused.
I believe that Seattle is soon going to lose all it’s examples of the Shit Hole Piece of Crap era of architecture. This was an important era. The motto of which was Form Follows Fuck-​if-​I-​know.
I have filed a petition to make this site, this chain-​linked shrine, an historic site. Never to be messed with.
If you don’t like it, you simply don’t understand it.
SAVE THE SEATTLE SHIT HOLE!

Actually, I’ve seen activity at this site lately. I was at Top Ten Toys the other day (because who doesn’t need a quality toy?) when I saw a black luxury sedan drive up and a what looked to be a stereotypical Eastern European gangster and his trophy wife emerge. They were followed by a man in a similar, but white, sports car who also sported the open buttoned shirt, black leather coat, slicked back hair and gold chains. The two men talked heatedly, but not (necessarily) argumentatively (is that a word?) while the woman checked herself out in the car mirror. When I can back out, toys in hand, they were gone. But they had keys… they opened the place up… they belonged there. Speculation on… theories? Bring ‘em.

To whoever reads this review, I didn’t know it was okay to review YOUR mom.

Y’all need to stop knockin’ Tony’s crib. It keep him warm n’ shit. That’s all it gotta do. Why you gotta hate?

According to the City of Seattle, Shit Hole Piece of Crap can stand as such for up to two years.
Where else are the rats gonna live?
Think of Shit Hole Piece of Crap as «rat condo’s», your garbage cans and outside cat food dispensers as «rat Quiznos».
There, isn’t that better?

A lot of creativity could happen here, people!
I’ll get my crayola kit.

Hey now! It brings an added flava to da hood!

Full disclosure: I own this shit hole piece of crap. Seriously, I bought it for $ 2 from some homeless guy. Thanks to those of you who realize how much hard work I put in maintaining the crap factor. Those asshole «adopt a street» people keep coming by and removing the «character» I painstakingly decorated with.
For those of you who rated my shit hole piece of crap less than four stars, I invite you to come back, say tomorrow around 4 AM, and I’ll change your mind.

Sure it’s a shit hole. It’s even a piece of crap. But did it ever claim to be anything else? It brings a flavor of Beirut to an otherwise first-​world neighborhood.