Satellite Lounge

throwback to lame

This place had a nice happy hour and cheap drinks. Sad to see it been shut down.

Easily the worst bar I’ve been to in Seattle. A couple of reasons:
1. I had a 3 fruit flies in my watered-​down martini. They still charged me 8 bucks.
2. They had no mint for a mojito
3. Had three beers on tab, Busch, Miller and Stella.
4. Gross bathroom
5. Tables that looked like a putting green (too big to be comfortable, and skuzzy).
I will never go here again.

Was not impressed, was positively the worst $ 10 martini of my life. Average bar at best, slow service, inflated prices. Would avoid this bar with all the others around

I’ll tell you, only thing good at Satellite is the happy hour.
Hit it up along with all the others you get on Pike.
I don’t see how people can really stay after that.

I’ve had a few good nights here a few years ago, but last night was a total joke. What is going on with the décor in this place? There is seriously bedroom furniture like dressers and bureaus placed around? There are a few posters of planets and «space», but then a poster of Elvis? And some sloppy art? A trophy? A weird mask? Is this some kind of misfit/​garage sale/​junk theme?
My friends wanted a cheap pitcher of beer, like Rainier, or MGD, something light. All they had was Bud Light w/​Lime, in bottles. The funny thing is, my friends decided they actually liked the Lime, but when thinking of getting another round, decided that it wasn’t worth the wait, there was just one over-​worked bartender and a line of 10 people.
The music was horrid, and this place just offered nothing as far as atmosphere, it was just so junky, but not in a charming way.

I don’t get how so many people are reviewing this place as a ‘dive bar’. Was it in the past? I was just visiting the city for the night, so I don’t know much, but this seemed like a really big, «hip» bar space to me (sorry to use that word to describe, but i can’t think of another one that fits what i mean. blugh). The staff were really friendly and attentive to us, making sure we always had drinks or whatever else we needed.
In general, any place with a space theme is pretty much awesome in my book.

Awful service! Dont go there. Go across the street to Bimbo’s/ChaCha.

I think this has always been a very nice dive bar to chill out at afterwork, especially given their great prices for happy hour and drinks. I agree with everyone else that the 2 for 1 burgers on Wednesday with a beer is a great way to end a long day of work. It’s a bit far now that I live up in Lynnwood as this place is located in Capital Hill so I don’t go here as often as I use to. If I get a chance to be in the neighborhood, this is a great place to stop in for a few drinks.

This is a great little dive bar that you can get cheap drinks and pretty darn good food. Its a place where the staff will take care of you and the drinks will be stiff. The floors might be a little sticky sometimes, but don’t let that deter you from stopping by!
Happy hours are great with cheaper drinks and food. I love the mini sliders which have just enough spice on em to complement the carmelized onions. I miss that they no longer have deep fried goodness (Deep fried olives with cheese in em!) but the other bits of food are more than making up for it.

A decent dive in which to spend a saturday night if you aren’t feeling extra social.

Understand that this place is a dive. It is always understaffed. You will wait for your drink. Your food will be slow. But it will be cheap, and the staff is salty in a way that you only get in bars that are not trendy. You will be taken care of, the drinks are stiff. If you want clean and class, Boom Noodle is across the street. This is old Capitol Hill, and it stays true to itself.
Wed. is 2 for 1 burger night.

They have air conditioning!!!
Which is the only reason there are four starts instead of three.
On a day like today air conditioning is important. As you probs know it was fucking hot today, and my apartment is always 10million degrees hotter than it is inside so I was pleased when my friend Danielle wanted to go out. We first tried Linda’s then Bimbo then Pike grill, none of which had air cond. We walked past Satellite and their doors were closed, a good sign. We walked in and… yay… cool air!
The food was good and the first round of vodka crans were good. The problem was that after getting our first drinks it took almost 15 minutes for the guy to come back to take our order and we never got the waters we asked for.
Besides the super long wait, it was alright. The drinks could be stronger and a second employee working on a Friday would be good. But the food was good.
It’ll be my new air conditioned standby.

Made my first visit here in eleven years. Back in ’97 it was gay gay gay with 6’4 drag queens making the rounds among the bears.
Symbolic of the general de-​gayification of Capitol Hill, the Satellite clientele could now have been plucked from the Elysian Brewing Company across the street.
Either minimal or no table service later in the evenings. Don’t keep glancing expectantly to the bar hoping someone will come over and take your drink orders. Just get off your fanny perpendicular and go up there to get your drinks. You did come here to drink, didn’t you?

I gotta give this place four stars. One for each reason to go there:
1. santa clause. There’s this dude that lives there. Go in and you’ll see him. White hair, white beard, slightly nicotine-​stained stache. I spent some time hanging with him the first time I went in there when I was waiting for some friends. He’s awesome. Good conversation, good stories, unique perspective on life. Can’t ask for much more.
2. Really cheap liquor during happy hour. 4 – 7.
3. Sassy staff. They aren’t always quick, they aren’t always polite, but then again, they have to deal with drunk Seattle U students who stumble around the bar trying to find the door or someone of the opposite sex to mack on. The end of the night can get pretty bizarre, partly due to #2, partly due to the dj and the little square of dance floor.
4. Meeting people you’d never think you’d run in to:
I play ice hockey. I also attend the Seattle U MBA nightschoolfortherestofyournaturallife program. This qualifies me to play on the Seattle U club team. I sent an email to the captain. In October. I was there watching a really drunk girl attempt all of the #3 items at once (she had shown up with my friend. I don’t know where he found her) in March last year when a guy standing next to me suggested I try to dance with her. I told him I couldn’t dance. Hockey, yes. Dancing, no.
Turned out he was the captain of the Seattle U hockey team, so I got to ask him why he never returned my emails. And I got to finally play on a college team, 10 years after graduating.
Anyway, if you’re jonesing for an entertaining evening but don’t have much ching and want to watch people struggle with the two cement steps leading to the front door, stop on in and sit back for the show.
Oh. And the Nachos? They’re a no-​no.

It should tell you something when a bar lacks so much personality that instead of real photos of the place you need to resort to photos of outer space.
You can get a happy hour PBR for $ 1.25 though, so maybe a hipster or two will think this place is out of this world.
(sorry for that, couldn’t resist)

After reading a few reviews on here, I have to add one.
I went here with 2 girlfriends on a Wednesday night to meet for bookclub (yes, dorky, so what), and contrary to other reviews the service we got was very good, our waitress/​bartender was attentive, nice, poured a stiff drink, and we were all happy. I’m not going to complain about the food because when you go to a bar, that’s what you should expect: bar food.
If you’re curious I got the nachos…
I’m giving it 4 stars because even though it’s not my usual go to place, and I only go here about twice a year I have nothing to bitch about.

Horrible service + Undercooked food = NO FUN!!!
I don’t understand the appeal of this place unless it is the music in the Juke box, TV on the wall, or mediocre Artwork occasionally hung. That is the only positive to this place and why it even got a second star. The staff maybe well meaning but totally full of attitude and poor service. You will be served awful drinks, a dry martini up will taste like the olive juice and some sprite decided to get into a fight while the poor martini was trying to break it up. And you may be feeling sicker than a regular hangover if you decide to eat anything off of the menu. I had undercooked chicken strips with my horrible «Rocket sauce» What ever it was, «Rock» in flavor it did not. My friends like this place for some reason. I have officially boycotted this place and have made it abunduntly clear to my friends, unless you are on your deathbed and it is the only place I can see you befor you are pushing up daisies, I will never step foot inside again.

I’m not sure what this place serves. They have no staff to serve people and don’t seem to care that you have arrived, have seated yourselves, or have been looking at the walls for 20 minutes.
I guess you could go to the bar to beg and plead for service, but we just sat at a table for a while and dorked around.
I was mostly watching completely hot girls play softball on television. Did you know they have full makeup and hair extensions when playing in televised NCAA games? Well I do now! I’m not sure how you keep makeup looking like that when you’re pitching 7 innings, but I guess not really caring what the answer is would be one of the things that makes me straight.
We hung around for more than a half an hour and no one was interested in serving us. Eventually we left. Maybe I should have brought signal flares.

Tasty, inexpensive brunch with vegetarian options available. They have 2-​for-​1 burger night on wednesdays which also has a veggie burger… but it’s not bland and nasty like so many veggieburgers… it’s actually quite tasty. My friends complain about the fries being overcooked but I like ‘em.
…
Edited to note:
Sadly, the last time I called regarding brunch they no longer offered it.