Fuzio Universal Pasta

Fuzio Universal Pasta recently opened at the Saint Louis Galleria. If you want to try them, get there soon, because my prediction is that they won’t be there for much longer.
I categorized this restaurant under Italian but they had a few dishes that I suspect they were trying to pass off as Pan-​Asian. That probably should have been my first red light (in addition to the obvious lack of patrons).
We started our meal with Cesar salads ($ 1.95 on top of the cost of your meal, FYI). The romaine was primarily the spines as opposed to the leaves, which made the salad unappealing to me. The Cesar salad dressing lacked herbs and I didn’t detect anchovy flavor. It had the appearance and taste of mayonnaise with perhaps a tease of Cesar flavoring, and I do mean «barely there». I didn’t finish it.
The focaccia garlic bread that accompanied the entrées was not toasted, was very thick and ‘bready’ and had a mere veneer of butter and parsley on the top with a brief hint of garlic. It added absolutely nothing to the meal.
One of our entrée orders was the Mediterranean Chicken Pasta. It sounded promising with a carbonara type sauce, white meat chicken, feta cheese and fresh basil. In actuality it was quite boring. It lacked seasoning and the thick corkscrew pasta was so gummy and heavy that it overpowered the sauce entirely.
We also ordered Macaroni and Cheese with grilled steak. The dish described itself as having a combination of three different cheeses, which sounded good to me. The steak was an optional add-​on (you could also get chicken and I think shrimp) for an extra $ 3.95. The pasta was again the thick gummy corkscrew variety and I had to salt the hell out of the food to get any taste at all. I don’t know what three cheeses they used, and I don’t think they know either. The steak was diced into very small cubes and also lacked flavor.
Entrees run about $ 10, salad is an extra $ 2 and non-​alcoholic beverages $ 2.25. So, without adding meat to a meatless meal or ordering a beer, you can expect to pay $ 30 for mall food that is worse than what I’ve found on a salad bar in a corporate cafeteria.
The overall impression of this place is that it appeals to the immature palate of a child. Fuzio somehow manages to squeeze, stir, mix, boil, broil and grill the taste out of everything it serves. The sauces lack seasonings and herbs, the salads are thick watery lettuce spines dipped in mayonnaise and the bread is, well, just bread. Nothing special.
Where is the garlic? Oregano? Rosemary? Basil? Pepper? You get my drift. Oh. And we had to ask for parmesan cheese.
If this is related to Fuzio Universal Bistro (which I’ve had in California) it doesn’t have even a third of the menu and not even a hint of the flavor.
I will say that the service was great (as it should have been, since we were one of two tables when we arrived and one of four tables when we left) and our beverages were never empty for more than a moment. I could see them checking our levels from across the room and heading over with more. But there is no way I’m going there again. I’d rather hit Panda Express and get what I pay for ($ 4.00 food) than pay almost $ 40 (after gratuity) for the same quality. Actually, Panda might even have been better.