MUNI – 1AX California ‘A’ Express

Was coming home yesterday, when suddenly the driver announces «Last Stop!», yup, you guessed it, I was rewarded with a «switchback».
Oh Joy! I love standing on the curb waiting for the next bus, thank you for that MUNI.
Today, its raining pretty heavily, el Ninio and all, and I’m standing in the rain at my bus stop, I see my bus coming and get ready to board, when out of nowhere this little MUNI shit with a clipboard runs up to the bus driver and tells him to change to 31BX!!! I wait for the next bus, get on when it arrives, and while I’m sitting there, the little MUNI shit with the clipboard gets on and yells that it’s also been changed to another bus number, and is no longer the 1AX. WTH?
I’m not gonna’ lie, I screamed at the little asshole to leave my bus alone, and told him to fuck off. WTH? This is like musical bus numbers, just the most unprofessional work, like a 3 Stooges skit, unreal.
I can’t believe how much we pay these losers, they are all overpaid and suck, it’s like we live in Oakland or something, so depressing to have to face that bus every day.
Down with MUNI, up with private companies, they at least show their customers respect.
YOU DIE, YOU DIE AND YOU GO TO HELL MUNI !!!

Reading people complain about this bus line (or Muni in general — with some exceptions) is like reading a big old spoiled vat of white whine.
Um, yeah, you didn’t get a seat. Tough, it’s a bus.
It’s schedule varies by 5 – 10 minutes each day? I have no problem when I use the Muni tracking app on my phone.
Bus drivers may occasionally slam on the breaks or whatever. Well again, it’s a bus. WTF.
The only bad thing I have ever seen is a few times at the last stop at 8^th, the bus driver would not pick up people waiting. Honestly there was room and I think she should have let them cram in.
Otherwise, it’s a fast and efficient way to get downtown. The clientele is a bunch of stuffy honkies, however that beats the «unpredictable» nature of other bus lines.
So really, there is nothing not to like. If you can’t tolerate this bus line then you should move out to Marin and drive to work, because it ain’t getting any better than this.

Perhaps this review is a little biased, because I ALWAYS have a seat. It’s my consolation prize for living so far out from downtown that a non-​express/​non-​limited bus will sometimes take me a solid hour to get home.
The 1AX is pretty much a «white collar professionals» bus. Lots of blazers, button-​ups, and shiny leather shoes. Whenever I feel the urge to pull out my Nintendo DS, I see the multitude of Kindles and Blackberry phones and get too ashamed of myself. SIGH, news on my iPhone it is.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt threatened or worried for my safety on a 1AX ride, but I have been worried about whether any of the substitute drivers know which way downtown is. I remember one week where my usual driver was out and the substitute driver said, «Hey! I’ll give you a free bus ride if you tell me where to go! *wink wink*» And as I held my prepaid monthly Clipper pass, I wondered if he would fork over $ 2 cash instead.
Something else to note: I haven’t really had problems with the buses being on time in the morning, but the afternoon outbound expresses are, how do you say… fickle. Especially on Fridays, like all the 1AX drivers decided 4−6pm Happy Hour was a better use of their time.

The only way I can tolerate the 1AX is by pretending it’s a roller coaster. It’s the only way that I could stand riding this line for months without hurling myself out the window to end the misery.
But if you want to endure the bus line you might try to pretend that this is the 2Fast2Furious version of the Muni. Because California St is narrow you’ll typically be riding the smallish buses where the drivers like to put the bus in a low gear and speed up the small hills like they’re racing Dom Toretto. This wouldn’t be a problem if you’re sitting down but the express bus is typically packed like it’s the last ride out of the Fall of Saigon. I’ve seen old ladies getting tossed which is not unbelievable as I’ve gone fallen myself.
If you need to cheer yourself up, pretend that you’re riding the 1AX during zombie apocalypse from Dawn of the Dead. This will keep you entertained when a swarm of people sprint after the bus when the bus starts to skip stops because it’s too full. If they do catch up to the bus at a red light because they’ll angry start beating on the door which is kind of frightening. But instead of wanting to eat out your eyeballs, they trying to do something more hideous, like show up to work on time.
If you’re a senior/​handicapped you can pretend that you’re in Wall Street. Keep your eyes peeled and remember that everyone is a crook You’d think that professionals going Downtown weren’t a bunch of A-​holes, but they’ll steal seat in the handicapped/​senior section making a poor old man stand in a heartbeat.
If you get creeped out by a weird dirty old man in a suit, just pretend he’s Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. If he does show you his lollipop, I’d recommend that you take out a pair of scissors and pretend you’re in filming the documentary on Lorena Bobbit in «Bobbetized».
Good luck!

Pleasant… for Muni.
By the way, Muni… piss off. But don’t take off, just do your job like the rest of us. Stop complaining, you’re not at Burger King.
Love in the morning when the big accordion bus arrives. Everyone is quiet and civil. Except those chicks that arrive with dripping wet hair and 4 bags. They look slim but then they budonka-​donk their rears down on the seat next to you like a bully slams its side of the seesaw and then they fuss to assemble themselves elbowing you at 2 reps a second while they arrange their skinny fat asses in a come hither position and attempt to transform their paper bag faces to magazine glossies.
HELL-​O! JEL-​LO! Did I hop on the 30 — EX?!
This does not happen often. I think those chicks live in the Marina (30 — Ex, because they have over 30 exes) but might be sleeping with the men off California.
So I insulted a couple of Louis Vuitton fans. Bergdorff Blond wannabees, Fredrick Fekkai users. Oh well.
The ride is jittery for the most part. It’s times like this when I wish Muni had seatbelts. I feel I am about to fall out of my seat many times. However, from the Outer Richmond to the Financial District in 10 – 15 minutes (most days) and from the Financial District to the Outer Richmond in about 20 — this is the bus to take!
When I was a child, I thought this bus was only for those heading to work and back, not for students or any other riders. Don’t know why I thought this. I also assumed the riders had a special «business» pass. Of course, anyone can board. Thankfully, this bus does not make any stops in Civic «Crack» Center or Tender-​Loin (s).

i can’t really give any muni bus 5 stars so 4 is as good as it gets. the 1AX is pretty darn convenient. once i get on it’s pretty much non stop until we get to the financial district. one of the things i really love is the silence on the bus. it was kind of weird to me at first but now it’s a good weird. you can really daydream or read. the 1AX going back home is equally convenient and is usually punctual. everyone knows that muni can be a real drag with horrible drivers and such but this line is usually a direct shot from point A to point B, no questions asked, no talking and no nonsense :)

Don’t listen to him! He has obviously never taken Muni before and does not realize how exceptional the 1AX is. Not on time? Please… this is RARE and at most is late a few MINUTES. Let me tell you, getting from the Outer Richmond to the Financial District in 25 minutes is AMAZING. Try doing that on the 38L. just doesn’t happen. Once you get past Park Presidio, it’s smooth sailing. no more stops! Who can beat that? I’ve been taking this bus for at least 5 years and overall it is wonderful, fast and oh-​so-​convenient. And jerky rides? Uh, it’s a bus… so…that just comes with territory seeing as it is not a LIMOUSINE SERVICE.

FTR FTW
The 1AX is like a M. Night Shalyamamananan movie, everything looks great on the surface but deep down inside you know the experience is going to suck. It’s great that its right next to my house, its great that is takes 20 minutes and its great that I can get a seat. But just like finding out aliens are allergic to water the 1AX gives you a pathetic twist. They are always late, they don’t know how to drive and they make the bus ride more jerky then Jack Link’s. Instead of messing with Sasquatch they are messing with me and I DON’T LIKE IT.
Anyway. I would love to give the 1AX three stars because public transportation rocks but sadly I can not.