Limited Too

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Eleven skirts a-​shorting
Ten videos a-​renting,
Nine Dragons a-​rolling,
Eight shoes a-​kicking,
Seven kids a-​skipping,
Six lights a-​blinking,
Five flower moments,
Four ballet dancers,
Three PPQ dishes,
Two Red Devil bands,
And a ticket for a Century movie!
I went gift shopping at Limited Too because my adorable nine-​year old niece mentioned the kid’s clothing store to me. I’m Super-​Uncle, thee uncle among uncles to ensure her happiness and protection. I get that she’s not all about toys and dolls anymore, but that clothes has significance now. I’m there, I know where you’re coming from.
This store is a play land of assorted shiny stuff for girls including stuffed animals, pink play phones, back packs, Cheetah Girl merchandise, some makeup, some school stuff and posters, all there to support fashionable little girl clothes from 8 yrs to teens.
But daaaaammmnnn isn’t some of the little girl clothes risqué? Does that skirt have to be that short for a girl that’s not even 10 yrs old? And that neckline is low for a kid’s blouse. Whooaa, spaghetti straps? Double entendre, you be the judge when the T-​shirts say: «Naughty or Nice» or «Daddy’s Little Girl.» Then I saw tiny striped underwear and training bras in one corner… uugghhh…no no no no, I’m an uncle, I don’t need to see that stuff. And why the HELL would you place on the counter club flyers for 21+y.o bars? Happy Hour field trips after a hard day in the 5^th grade, is that the deal?
Uncle hood is about ice cream and Pixar movies, I didn’t sign up for pre-​puberty panic. My niece is only 9 yrs old. She still runs to my arms wanting to be spun around and hoisted on my shoulders. She likes knock-​knock jokes and playing Go Fish. Damn you Limited Too and your short short skirts and training bras, you’re not stealing her childhood years away from me! PROTECT, that’s part of my job description!
FYI, my niece loved the gifts I bought from Limited Too, especially the black corduroy hat with short brim. She wore it all Christmas day long playing Wii with a huge smile that made me feel like Super-​Uncle.