Joe C.

Tonight, I found out that Joe C. has recently been crowned The Coolest Unilocaler in San Francisco, except every time that I would refer to him as «The Coolest Unilocaler in San Francisco», he would get all Janice Dickinson on me, ya know, where when someone would refer to her as a «supermodel», she would retort, «the world’s FIRST supermodel», and correct me up by saying, «The Coolest Unilocaler in THE UNIVERSE».
Yes, tonight, I, insignificant little Debbie L, had the honor of being graced by the presence of The Coolest Unilocaler in THE UNIVERSE, the cooler than cool, Joe C.
These are just a few of the thoughts that ran through my head tonight. Fill in the blank: «I can’t believe that The Coolest Unilocaler in The Universe _​_​_​_​_​_​_​_​»
–hugged me.
–even allowed me to touch him.
–just bought me a drink.
–and I are even standing in the same room.
–is sitting next to me in a cab talking about how cool he is.
–told me that there was something stuck in my teeth.
–didn’t say «Do you _​know_​who I am?» when the host at Indian Oven told us to wait a minute.
–has the ability to sweat over the consumption of spicy foods. I bet it feels like ice cold water.
Several times tonight, I was in such utter disbelief over the fact that someone as cool as Joe C. would hang out with me that he would have to hold his hand out and say, «Touch it. Go ahead. It’s all real».
*poke* *squeeze* *hold* Holy shit. It IS real. And what’s more? My hands are severely frostbitten now. Why?
Because Joe C. is just _​that_​cool.

Cute little FUCer isn’t he?

Joe C… let me tell you a few things about this guy. He is a Packers fan. I am a Bears fan. I am supposed to hate him. He rubs it in my face about how great the Packers are, (they aren’t), how I love Brett Favre, (I don’t), points out when I screw up in a review, (well… I do that from time to time), makes snarky remarks to me in SF talk threads when I wander over. He can be a pain in my ass, but remember I said I was supposed to hate him.
I don’t. Why? On a talk thread where my friend Andy F said that I was coming to San Francisco to visit him, Joe quickly sent me a friend request. When I came in and went to my first DYG, Joe met me out and bought me a beer. When I went to my first DYL hours later, he bought me another beer. We talked football, about how selfish Brett Favre was being, about our hometowns, about what we liked about SF and Chicago. He introduced me around to other SF Unilocalers. He was friendly, welcoming, honest and down to earth. He made me feel for a brief time, that in SF, his home, was my home. Just a home I didn’t know that well. He FUC’s me on a regular basis. Not many can say they do that. How do I know? He sends me compliments quite a bit. It makes me all red and blushy like. He is funny. He is a good. no. a great guy. If I really did live in SF, I would want to hang out with him and share a few beers and talk smack about football.
Then I start reading all these things about how all these other people are made to feel special because of Joe. What the fuck?! I thought I was special??? Y’know what? He makes everyone feel special, because he can see how great everyone is, because we know how great he is. He just makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Its not like he would lie to us… lawyers never lie right?

I’m leaving on vacation in just a couple of hours, but had to stop packing and echo my gorgeous pal Rachel F.‘s raves for Joe C. Today being 08.08.08, I shall present you with eight reasons why I heart the bastard: 1) He’s extremely personable, both online and in the reals. 2) He’s a funny fucker. 3) He’s a generous FUC’er. 4) He patiently tried to teach me how to properly shoot pool. 5) He’s kind and supportive towards ALL peoples. 6) He’s a handsome MoFo. 7) He loves doggies. And last, but certainly not least … 8) He knows what you did last summer!

To commemorate my 100^th review, I thought I’d review my current BFF and favorite Unilocaler, Joe C.
Joe C. is a pretty choice guy.
Joe C. prefers brunettes to blondes, but I don’t hold this against him, and actually it makes our friendship that much easier.
Joe C. plays a pretty mean guitar, or so I hear. He has a million of them in his house.
Joe C. has two cute dachshunds named Lingo and Andy, the former of which I will win over one day.
Joe C. will buy you beers if you’re in a bad mood/​sad/​broke/​happy.
Joe C. is a lawyer, but a do-​gooder one, not a greedy one.
Joe C. starts some of the nicest threads on Unilocal.
Joe C. is a great wing-​man.
Joe C. is almost always on iChat when I need to rant or rave.
Joe C. is excited about life.
Joe C. is a great ego booster.
Joe C. genuinely likes people.
Joe C. would probably be loved by my mother.
Joe C. compliments me daily.
Joe C. is really really super smart.
Joe C. helps me with my iPhone when I’m feeling technologically impaired.
Joe C. has good taste in just about everything, most particularly his friends.
Joe C. has a lot of interests and apparently is pretty good at basketball.
Joe C. is pretty tall.
Joe C. can cook up some mean grub.
Joe C. is a law teacher and I’m totally going to audit his class sometime.
Joe C. introduced me to Pizzetta.
Cheers, Joe C. *raises a pint of Trumer Pils in his general direction*