Dirty Trix Saloon

Went here Nov 2013 for a Sunday afternoon bears game and it was one if the highlights of our visit to San Fran. The patrons were all bears fans and very friendly (as bears fans usually are). They didn’t bother the random Wisconsin fan that was there. Free buffet for guests and the owner was very funny and welcoming. 312 on tap of course. All in all this place made us incredibly sad to live in a place without a bears bar, not live in Chicago, and I’d never thought I’d say it — but San Fran as well!

Before I went to Dirty Trix, I heard a ton of tales that mostly ended in «It’s so sad there!» «Gross!» and «Perfect place to die!» So, I was skeptical, to say the least.
I think I had the best first experience I’ve ever had at a bar here, so I’m biased. But, I showed up to do comedy and Hannibal Buress was just chillin. I repeat. Chillin. This is probably exactly what Studio 54 felt like.
He did some comedy, too, but he was mostly just there to hang out. He even stuck through someone literally defecating on stage. This is probably why people have previously said «Gross!» to me. Because this shit goes on.
However, the bar is cool enough for Hannibal to hang out through some shit for, and I’ve been back since. Honestly, not a bad comedy venue and the bartenders are great.
Bathrooms are «Gross!» and it’s cash only… but they have an ATM, so stop whining.

Ehh, what can you say… it’s a dive bar so don’t have high expectations and you won’t be disappointed. I’ve been here only once, for the comic night, so that’s what I’ll be basing my review on.
Helpful hint — if you want to sign up for a mic spot and would like to get onstage before last call, arrive early in the evening (like around 7:30) to put your name on the signup list.
Pros:
Wednesday night is stand-​up comedy open mic.
Drinks are good and the bartender (at least last Wednesday night) was hilarious. 5 stars for Pookie.
Location is easy to find and parking is surprisingly not that big a battle.
The crowd was incredibly friendly and welcoming to the comics performing. No booing or heckling, even when the performances were about as appealing as cold diarrhea on a paper plate. A good supportive environment for those who are just starting out.
The MC, Andrew I think, was funny. An excellent choice for running the show. I think I laughed more at him than most of the performances!
Not to make it sound like the comics were all bad. Some were absolutely hilarious! There was an obvious mix of skill and experience levels.
Cons:
Cash only.
Drinks are too expensive for the setting. I’ll gladly pay $ 9 for a martini or $ 6 for a draft beer at Ruby Skye, but in a sticky dive bar off Geary it doesn’t seem quite right.
The open mic was kind of disorganized… some people were allowed to go well over their time limit; others who were way too fucking drunk/​high to do anything other than mumble and laugh at themselves should have been removed from the stage but were allowed to stay up there wasting everyone’s time. One dude, I think his name was Rodney, cut into the early lineup and was a total idiot. Too drunk to make any sense and not funny at all.
Ever seen «Trainspotting?» Remember the scene with The Worst Toilet in Scotland? The bathrooms here are pretty fucking close to that. FUCKING DISGUSTING. I would rather go outside and pee in the street.
Soooooo…not my first choice for a bar in the City but that doesn;t mean it’s bad for everyone.

We were in town visiting and when searching for a Chicago Bears’ bar, Dirty Trix seemed to be the best choice. We arrived a few minutes before they opened, so once inside we had our choice of seating. Chairs are spread across the floor so we knew it would fill fast and get quite cozy. We ended up trapped in the corner so getting beers became an effort. We would’ve loved more 312, but it was too challenging to maneuver around the floor and then wait at the bar which was five or six deep. A waitress brought us one beer, I only wish she returned.
There was a large turnout and despite the loss it was great fun rooting our team with other diehard fans!
At halftime that put on a Trailer Trash Tailgate spread. We didn’t sample anything, but it was a nice touch. Everyone around us seemed to enjoy the food.

Ok, I’m going to go on record and be the first person in the history of the internet to admit they were wrong. Maybe I was having a bad night the first time I came here, and the racist hipster fuckwit mistaking racism for comedy put me over the edge, but after being asked to give them a second chance, I did, and had a really good time. Also, there were cupcakes. The host was quite funny, the DJ played outkast, and all the children danced and sang. They should give the bartender a microphone.
It is also possible they put something in my drink. Good times!
–edit–
The dirty trix saloon has taken over my Unilocal account and locked me in the basement. Please: CALL THE POLICE

UPDATE: go to The Bar On Dolores! Best Chicago Bears bar in San Francisco… and the most friendly owners & bartenders & fellow patrons to watch the game with [SOUND ON]! Bear Down! ;)

This place is boss. Awesome food, great drink specials, and even better people you would have to be a goddam fool to not want to come here for a bears game (or anything else). Get real and get here.

It’s a dive bar that isn’t too crowded or too expensive so while there isn’t anything to actively like, I wouldn’t say there’s anything to actively dislike either.
They also have 312 on tap which I do enjoy.

My friend and I randomly found this place when we were walking down Clement, and we we’re actually very happy with it! It’s definitely a dive bar, which who doesn’t love a good dive bar? We were also there on a Tuesday afternoon, which apparently was the perfect time for some 2-​for-​1 drinks! Probably only paid about $ 10 for 4 drinks overall! And the drinks weren’t bad at all! Would definitely go back if I had the chance.

We came on a Saturday night to get some drinks to celebrate a friends birthday party. We walked in and they have a makeshift stage for stand up comedians to go to. They acts were okay but that’s not what we were going out for. We tried to stay in the bar area so we wouldn’t get in the way of people trying to watch the show but it’s small and cramped. We would also feel awkward if we started talking amongst ourselves while the show was going on so eventually we decided to go elsewhere. So if you are going out to a bar to drink and chill with your boys this probably isn’t the place to come when a show going on. Cheap drinks tho.

Yeah, Dirty Trix? I happen to wander into you during a really bad date and you just *happen* to be a Chicago sports bar that made the prior awkwardness of my night quickly fade away? Kudos, DT. Really. Thank you.
They had a (very) improv sketch comedy night which turned out to be Hilarious. My Makers and gingers were maybe too strong (California girl problems!) and I just felt so… at home here. I kept wishing that my date would just leave so I could party with the regulars/​bartender. That didn’t end up happening, but still. The night turned out as great as it possibly could have.

Every once in a while u guts to change it up. I mean it really isnt cheating, sorry hearth, if I come here once in a great while… right? …right?
Dirty Trix is a fun little place (this is not a euphemism it is really small)…with tons of regulars (this and the 540 have tons or regulars).
I like the 6 buck special: pbr and a shot of tequilla.
Tons of sporting events on all the time. Football seasons this place is crazy.
Friendly patrons, Friendly Bartenders, and Friendly prices… Winning!

Yay another divey bar in the Inner Richmond. Good for a bar-​hopping-​stop.
Attentive bartenders & strong drinks.

HANDS DOWN MY FAVORITE BAR IN THE RICHMOND!
The bartenders are your best friend the moment you enter the place. Drinks are cheap and it’s always a good time with good people… any time of the day.
If you get the chance, I HIGHLY suggest checking out the comedy nights. The open mic on Wednesdays is the longest and most eclectic show in the city (5 hours and something like 50 comics each week). It showcases comics ranging from awkward first-​timers to seasoned professionals (Robin Williams stopped by and did a set one night… unbelievable.)
They also have a show on the 1^st and 3^rd Saturdays of the month. If I have any advice for anyone wanting to check those out it’d be «SHOW UP EARLY!!!» The place fills up quick, and by fill up I mean you can’t even squeeze your way through the door. The comedy is top notch and is basically the same caliber of anything you’d see at Punchline or Cobbs FOR FREE!!! Also the groovy dance party that happens to break out after the show can’t be beat.

«is that guy seriously reading passages from the Bible at 1 o’clock in the morning? Cocaine is a hell of a drug.»
We went during comedy night, I had every intention of leaving SF at 4 AM (we drank until 5 am)
It was really dreadful comedy but the bartender was the saving grace
(in the way you know a date is going bad and when you step outside you meet a beautiful girl on a bad date as well and you end up running off to a different bar with her)
The fellow was reading Bible passages on stage (the world Jesus was replaced with Simba)
The drinks were cheap and were served with lightning like speed
(There was more gin in my system than blood)

Upon entering Dirty Trix I was immediately greeted/​carded by nice bartender who reduced the domestic bottles to $ 3 because they were out $ 2 Pbr drafts and $ 3 high life. Solid.
A lot of random chatskises here. Plus the jukebox was pumping a weird mix upbeat jams — Michael Jackson to Journey. Then folks started singing along to Wham. An interesting mix of folks indeed. A collection of former (and current) rejects that have come into their own and found fraternity at Trix — I’m a fan.
Can’t really call this a scene. People are too happy to care about trying to act cool. A dive bar is as dive bar does but Trix has a certain degenerate charm. If you’re on Clement and thirsty stop by.

My friends, it’s a 5 star review.
It’s a neighborhood bar with an extra zing. The bar is long, there are tables in the back, apparently free pool and an excellent digital jukebox. We were treated to an hour of sing along Stevie Wonder. Not my fave, but somehow, it worked. I could dance like soul train’s #1s and no one batted an eye. Drinks are good. Bartender’s genuine. And the patrons are having a good time.

This is where Chicago Bears fans can… BEAR DOWN when in San Fran. So happy we found this little gem of a bar while visiting during the first Bears game of the season.
Thankfully my husband got to the bar early, like 9:45AM because there were not any seats by kick off. It is a small and intimate bar and by that I mean, you will likely have a conversation with at least half the bar by the time the game or night is over. It felt like we were back in Chicago watching the game, so much fun! Let’s get ROWDY!
Drinks: So there was a $ 16 all you can drink Mimosa special going on. PBR’s were $ 2.50 so that was a good deal. Also, the owner sold me on the Shiney Mary which is a Bloody (she makes her own mix and it was DELISH!) but with Moonshine made from corn. Not gonna lie, I was hesitant to order Moonshine at 10AM but after the first sip, It was alll goooodddd.
Food: Not sure what they normally do, but on football Sunday they have a Trailer Trash Buffet and my husband thought it was tasty.
All in all, best bar we went to in San Fran! Thanks for the great time –everyone go get your Dirty Trix on!

Dirty Trix is fun.
The bartenders are fun.
The owners are fun.
The regulars are fun.
The pool is fun.
The entire experience is fun.
It’s not a pretty room It’s charming, in a dark and deep sort of way, filled with some of the best, worst, and weirdest of the Richmond District.
And now that I think about, they probably have the BEST bartenders in SF.

When it gets too loud and/​or rowdy at The Bitter End (and it does…) this is a great place to crash. The environment is low-​key and everybody is pretty chill on any given night. They do get the overflow of douchebags from the Rockit Room on the weekends, but hey, Fridays and Saturdays are when the douchebags invade the Richmond, so deal with it.
Drinks are cheap, and the bartenders are very friendly. My friend and I joked about the popcorn machine in the corner. The bartender asked us if we wanted popcorn, we said yes, and she actually went to make some! It wasn’t a busy night… she risked us not even eating the popcorn, and then of course she would have to clean it again, but she made it for us anyway! That was awesome. Of course we had like five trays of popcorn. Each. It was some damned good popcorn.
After reading some of the reviews on here, it sounds like they have some pretty awesome events/​games/​contests going on. We stumbled in on the end of some Comedy Wednesday thing one time.
One complaint: They were out of Guinness one time, and then the other time their Guinness tap was broken. But I can adjust… it was just a little disappointing.