CELLspace

Review of Tuesday Night Skate!
I wasn’t sure what to expect so I showed up a little after 7pm and was amongst the first people there. It worked out though since that gave me time to brush up on my rusty rolling skating skills before more people arrived. The space never got overly crowded and there was a good mix of regulars with choreographed dance moves, newbies on first dates, and folks who just wanted to relive the 80’s. The music was fun, ranging from disco to Michael Jackson to Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ to an Eminem remix.
For $ 5 admission (with code ‘funcheap’) and $ 5 skate rental, it was time well spent!

Very unfortunate experience with Cell Space. I had signed up for an art course at Cell Space during the summer of 2007 for $ 300. The week before the course began, I received an email stating the course was cancelled, and the fee would be refunded to me automatically.
What followed was a 2 year long exchange of emails, calls, and inquiries. I never received the refund, and each time, I was fed a difference excuse about why a refund could not be delivered. I finally gave up and considered my money a «donation» to the arts. I realize that an non-​profit organization can have budget constraints, but these kinds of business practices are just not acceptable.

Reason for visit: Roller disco night.
Visit date: February 11, 2012
First time? Yes.
Yay CELLspace for hosting random events! Tonight’s festivities: roller disco complete with host in full on fur coat and matching roller skate fur covers (faux I’m hoping), skate rentals, paparazzi to make me feel like a roller disco celebrity, bar with friendly bartenders, roller skate line dancing and costumes! It’s a relatively small space for roller skating so if you actually want to skate around, come when they open the doors. As the night progresses, the floor gets crowded and the crowd get drunker. There aren’t many indoor skating rinks in the area so I would definitely come back the next time the roller disco comes around.

Monday night BBoy Sessions. Legit.

I think it’s rather nifty that places like this exist. It’s a great place to showcase something… unusual. Tonight I was lucky enough to see a production of acrobatics and clowns. The production itself was pretty awesome but the focus here is on CELLspace.
We walked in, chatted with one of the folks and they came back with drinks. IMO that’s AWESOME service. I’m assuming it’s not a typical thing but either way. I thought it was great.
The seats themselves were typical seats and the drinks weren’t badly priced. The layout of the place was interesting and I’d be happy to come back to see another production.
Hooray for spots like this. I’m a fan!

Caught the final performance of Much Ado About Lebowski from the Primitive Screwheads here. Good setup, didn’t appear to be a bad seat in the house! Bathrooms were clean, always a plus. Only issue was the occasional disruptive noise from the bar area upstairs.

I absolutely love CellSpace! I highly recommend this as a tango venue!
I try my best to attend the alternative milonga every Wednesday. It has a great atmosphere, beautiful dancers, a variety of snacks, lots of floor space for dancing tango, and has great music!
For you first-​timers, it is a bit difficult to find this place and may look like you’re heading into the dark oblivion, but once you step onto the right city block, all you have to do is follow your ears to the sweet sound of tango … or vals … or milonga … or people talking/​laughing!
Sometimes there is a live band. There’s almost always a beginning and intermediate class from 8pm-​9pm, followed directly by a milonga.
I would have to say that the only real negative is the floor. It’s concrete, so it’s pretty rough on your joints. Be sure to juice up on glucosamine before and after, otherwise you might be a bit achy the next day.
Hope to see you all there! Say «Hi!» to me if you catch me on the sidelines taking a quick break from swirling around in a dance partner’s arms!

I went for the fated New Year’s Eve 2010 roller disco night. The night started out great. We were the first ones in the door, had our skates on with drinks in our hands and were skating by 9. I do have a small complaint about the cost of everything. The door fee not so much since it was a fundraiser night, but the coat check was per item, the skates, and the drinks were all pretty expensive. Other than that, there’s a good ambiance, the people are cool, and you will have a good time (if not skating, then watching people falling).
The night would have been a 3 to 4 star experience, but at around 1030 we were kicked out by the fire marshal because cell space didn’t file for a permit to host an event that night. And there was only one person in the coat check room, so we had to stand in line to get our things for 30 – 45 minutes. Best quote of the night (from another unhappy customer in the coat check line), «Confucius says, ‘Never give a motherfucker your shoes!»
So we were out wandering down toward the mission to find some bar somewhere where we could cram ourselves. When we were leaving cell space we didn’t get a refund when we were kicked out… No skate rental refund, no coat check refund, no ‘at the door’ refund. All the other bars were either jam packed or charging a redick cover charge. (It was new year’s eve.) So the downfall of our group’s entire night was really the lack of permits.

I just went for my first time to Cell space for a re-​creation of the Match Game!
They put together a look alike stage and had some local celebrities like former supervisor Chris Daly and the awesome drag queen Sister Roma.
The show got off to a late start, and there were a lot of bugs to work out… but since this reviews is for the building itself I will give it 4 stars. Awesome venue that can be used for diverse projects. Will be back
As for the show, I bought a ticket online from Cheap SF and went for a nice night out by myself. The ticket lady checked my ID and found my name on the list and said «Just one?» Yes. Just one.
Made some friends in line at the bar, and stayed for Natasha Muse’s stand up.
Hopefully the next round of the game show will be more put together.

Roller Disco is a blast at Cell Space, great music and great crowd!
However, a few notable differences this year that the venue may wish to revisit.
1) Rollerblades — There used to be a no rollerblades rule, they didn’t even exist during disco! No disrespect to the bladers, but most of these guys skate for speed and lack control. There’s no room for speed at this event. Take it back to quads only!
2) I love, LOVE to dance as much as the next gal, but there were [drunk] people running around on the floor with no skates taking up prime skating real-​estate. It’s crowded enough!
3) The 2^nd bar. Again, I love to get my drink on, but the 2^nd bar stole LOTS valuable skating space. Not even really skating space, but if you needed to bail out because someone was coming at you all out of control, you have NO where to go.
Everything else is amazing. Keep up the great work!

pretty neat artwork. chill vibe :)

This is a great spot to go for a good taste of San Francisco. This space as art, dance, music you name it. It is so diverse and big! I came here to work an event and it’s such a great gem in the Mission! The only I would say is that it needs more ventilation! Especially for the amount of people we packed in there and it just happen to be a hella hot summer day. I wanna check out these bboy dance classes they got going on!

This review is about Point Break Live at CELLSpace.
I have not laughed so hard at a play in quite a long time. I dragged my significant other, my brother, and his girlfriend down to see Point Break last week, and we had a great old time. It was messy. It was stupid. And it was a whole hell of a lot of FUN.
Don’t be mislead by the low-​budg bloodbath –there were some really great performances by the chief actors… and, not least by the «Keanu» they picked out of the audience! Matt Fox from San Mateo, if you are reading this, MAD PROPS TO YOU!!! I totally thought you were a plant in the audience. But you weren’t. Wow.
My advice to theatre-​goers:
1) If you opt out of the poncho, like Keith encourages, be prepared to be a mess (i mean REALLY a mess) when you leave. Don’t wear good clothes. Don’t wear good shoes. Leave the expensive handbag at home or BYOPlasticBag.
2) Drink. Lots. This is NOT a serious play. You’re NOT going to miss the finer subtleties if you are blotto, and you will most likely enjoy yourself more. The PBR’s are only $ 3. Or you may choose to be drunk upon arrival.
3) Don’t sit in the front row if you are pregnant or nursing some kind of sports injury or something. Participation will be required. Actors may stand on you. Sit on you. Squirt you in the eye with lotion. Just sayin’.
4) Um… watch the movie first! It’s not going to make a whole lot of sense if you don’t.
To the complainers:
1) Blood, Stupidity, and Low-​budget props:
Were you really not warned what kind of an evening Point Break Live was going to be when you looked at their website? Look, I used to work in the theatre, so I would be able appreciate some of your wishes for deeper-​reaching humor and better sets (heck, I used to BE a set designer) if… this weren’t POINT BREAK. *LIVE.* Which was categorically a stupid movie. And it is precisely that stupidity which makes for funny guerilla-​style theatre. As for the sets/​costumes/​props, clearly the point is that its all as janky as can be. They use a minimum of stuff to create, at times, a surprisingly immersive experience. If you want to see zillion dollar spectacle you should be downtown at Phantom of the Opera.
2) «Gay» humor:
I don’t think the boys onstage are making fun of gay men –I think they’re making fun of a totally testosterone fuelled, macho-​adventure-​sport-​male-​bonding extravaganza of a script, which has at its core a sort of un-​requited love between an FBI agent and a surf guru. Those characters are supposed to be totally straight BROs. They’re supposed to epitomize some absurd kind of tough heterosexual manliness. Yet the whole tension of the script is about what is essentially a kind of man-​crush. (Did you notice how the girl goes from being pivotal to being gone in the space of like two scenes?)
3) The Price of Milk:
Ok… I get that if you just inherently don’t like something, then $ 30 may feel like a lot to spend. But remember that at a play, we have REAL LIVE PEOPLE onstage. And a REAL LIVE crew working behind the scenes. I’m guessing the whiners would happily cough up $ 12 for a movie plus another $ 10 for refreshments and $ 8 for parking and guess what? That’s $ 30. I’d rather support a local show featuring local talent, gritty or not, than some mega-​multiplex and gazillion dollar production studio. (Ok, ok, unless it’s Pixar! But they’re local too…)
4) The Actors Were Having More Fun Than Me:
Would you rather watch a bunch of people on stage… NOT having fun?
Lighten up and enjoy the show! :)

We stopped by here for roller disco night. If you dress up in a costume you can get in for $ 5, it’s $ 10 without one. Make sure you bring some cash though because they charge you another $ 5 for rental of the roller skates even though it doesn’t mention that anywhere on their website. The concept of CELLspace is fabulous. I have only been skating maybe twice before coming here and I was looking to improve my skills. Bad idea. If you have some experience skating, this is a great place, if you have very little skill like me, I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s a decent sized skating rink but definitely not a place for you to hang against the wall if you have minimal skating skills. I like the concept of CELLspace though so I’ll probably go back for one of their art events. For more information, check out their website.

Brody… this is a wake up call. I am a federal agent!
I will start by saying that Tanya B below must be a member of the fun police. The description of this play should of been enough to keep her away but clearly she missed the joke.
So, on to something more important… my opinion. Lady friend had been discussing going to a play for awhile now. I told her that after my bonus comes in, I would get some wicked tickets to celebrate. I was looking online for tickets, we lady friend texted me «You know they made Point Break into a play…». I was sold and the Wicked idea was immediately dropped.
Point break is a super over the top and incredibly bad movie. It is a cliché cherry on top of a cliché hot fudge sundae. The idea that anyone would actually expect a serious dramatic reinterpretation of anything involving Keanu Reeves is laughable. Some would say this production was sloppily produced and juvenile. I would say that those factors are the major source of it’s charm.
The show is hysterical. It is fast, intense, and a laugh a minute. This was some of the best interactive theater I have ever seen. The cast was truly enjoying themselves and it showed. They overacted in a manner that would make Gary Busey proud.
I am not going to tell you anything more, as to not spoil the show. But I will give you my tips.
1. Don’t get a poncho. You look like a pansy.
2. Get wasted. Hit the mission for cheap drinks before hand and stumble over.
3. Bring cash for the three dollar PBRs sold in the back.
This show is all about fun and silliness. Check pretentiousness at the door, crack open your PBR, and have yourself a deep laugh

This review is for Point Break Live, which is now held at cellspace.
I thoroughly disliked this production, but in the interest of trying to present a fair and balanced review I will offer what I feel might be reasons some people could conceivably enjoy the Point Break Live expereince.
You should see Point Break Live if you:
— Enjoy movies like Dumb & Dumber, Cable Guy, Balls of Fury or find scatological humor and homo jokes endlessly amusing.
— Miss the good old days of «senior skit» when all the football players dressed up like cheerleaders and teachers for their skit.
— Are drunk on cheap beer.
— Have $ 30, extremely low expectations, and are wearing a really crappy outfit.
My experience of this production:
I thought the idea sounded amusing and was ready to start laughing the minute I donned my rain poncho. I think the first warning sign was the fact that at $ 30 a pop with a full theater I did the math on revenue and then on set design and wondered why this production seems unable to afford better sets and props than some Goodwill scavenged beach gear? I get that it is supposed to be intentionally lo-​fi and the whole «charm» is the mess, the grit, the spontaneity, but I’ve paid less for a Gwar show where at least the music, storyline and costumes had some thought put into them.
Then there was the dreadful production itself. Dear god. I think another reviewer mentioned that it was one of those situations where you felt like the actors were having way more fun than anyone else in the theater. The endless gay jokes (mocking Harvey Milk, telling «Keanu» to «Plug his pooper», referring to one man’s flaccid penis as a «tard slab», mock male on male groping, the list goes on and on and on) were old after the first 15 minutes much less after two hours. It was as if the only punchline these guys could scrounge up for two hours was «OMG, I mean, isn’t being gay SO funny?»
I couldn’t believe this was San Francisco. I felt like I was watching a modern day minstrel show. It was totally disgusting. Eventually I started feeling sorry for one actor in particular who literally could ad lib no other type of joke. I kept thinking — man, this poor ‘hetero’ guy clearly thinks non stop about groping and performing homosexual acts with other men. I mean, he was in nearly every «scene» of the «play» and he couldn’t muster so much as one other humorous topic or line?
Of course there is also the sticky crap which they throw all over you in the interest of humor and interactivity.
I’ve already gone on and on but the gist is this: if you are not a big fan of enduring two hours of poorly delivered «homo jokes» and getting yourself covered in sticky goo for the bargain price of $ 30 then avoid this show.

Two things…
Bboying and the Floor.
Nice sized floor, and a chill Bboy vibe equals a place I’m especially familiar with for such a long time.
Don’t stop the rock… and rock that beat, I’ll be back next time to throw down and bug out on the breaks.

I did not like this venue AT ALL. It needs a good scrub or something, because both my boyfriend and I broke out into hives shortly after arriving. I could be making a leap here, but the fact that they don’t sell alcohol seems somehow causal to the preponderance of hyperactive patrons practically screaming «LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!» How people could be going so nutso at a night of slow, chill music is a mystery to me.
What a disappointment was the second room upstairs. They were playing the same slow, boring music as downstairs, it reeked of BO and was hot as hell. I paid $ 20 bucks for this?!?
+1 star for the cool temperature in the main room
+1 star for having cocos

CELLspace is great, but the roller disco party 10÷24÷08 was a travesty, at least for me. The music was fun, the costumes were wacky, etc.
However, they gave roller skates to far too many people, after bragging about how some 300 people had been rolling around there previously. I was among them, and it was really fun for about 10 minutes, until I fell and broke my ankle.
I probably won’t walk again until next year, and only after thousands of dollars of medical bills, excruciating surgery, at least 10 weeks of crutches and various casts, lost pay and opportunities at work for having to take lots of time off to recover, and ongoing physical therapy. I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk, jog, bicycle, and hike again normally.
There wasn’t enough room here to roller skate. I couldn’t get enough space around me to get the momentum for a single, full stride. It was so packed that it felt like tiptoeing on skates, which doesn’t work. The only people who seemed to be moving were holding onto each other in a big line. Instead of grabbing other people to fall down along with me when I started to wobble, I fell on myself. My ankle turned in so far that it snapped on the outside, seriously damaging several ligaments along with it.
Once I fell, I hopped on one leg to solid ground. My ankle was immediately and obviously swollen. But the people working at the party didn’t bat an eye when I explained my injury. Luckily my friends asked around so that I could get ice after a while.
Given that the disclaimer on the party’s website was clear about the risk of broken bones, I’d think that they would have been better prepared with a first aid kit and ice. They seemed to expect that the party was a risk to the health of the people attending.
I’m surprised that so many people were allowed in here, and so many skates were given out, when it was so packed. It seemed like a fire hazard as well. I didn’t even get my entry fee back.
I’ve had a great time at other events at CELLspace. I couldn’t find a listing on Unilocal for this particular party. Yay for wacky parties, but I’m one of those dorks who thinks that safety should come first. I grew up roller skating at Rainbow roller rink in Chicago and never had a problem.
CELLspace, would you please consider waiving my entry fee for the next even I attend here? The roller disco party has cost me at least $ 5,000 and the loss of the use of my left leg for an indefinite period of time. I would appreciate the gesture. Thanks.

This is great venue for any number of activities. With a mezzanine, a gallery, and movable risers, and a dubbed as «performing arts», it is a space big enough and well organized enough to hold just about any kind of event.
So, bring in some well-​built, hard-​nosed, barely clad, Bay Area Derby girls, a couple of hundred gallons of mud and a raucous screaming crowd with some well-​priced-​PBR, and you certainly have yourself a «performance».
Yep! Mud Wrasslin’!!! Mmmmm!!!
But is it «art»? Hell Yeah!- It sure looks like it from where I am standing!
(See photo.)
(Go Dead!)