English Tea Shoppe

Unmitigated disaster. I should have walked away when I saw the sign that said «cash only.» But tea is a major draw for me so I powered through with the limited cash I had in my wallet.
As soon as we entered we were seated by the chef/​waiter/​person who picked up the phone earlier. The tables were arranged in the kitschy way people think tea rooms should look like. Cheap floral China, inedible sugar cubes, faux flower center pieces, gaudy linens and the like. He asked what kind of tea we wanted, the house blend or something else. We all opted for earl grey. It was bigelow brand… Which is essentially poor quality tea dust. It tasted watered down and had no real depth. Not surprising.
I called 40 minutes ahead to place an order for 3 savory pies. I got steak and kidney (I’m all about making questionable decisions), steak and onion and steak and mushroom. I tried ordering shepherds pie but the guy on the phone said you need to call a week in advance for it. Really? But they had steak and kidney pie…
Our pies came with the options for peas, spinach or salad as a side. The peas were clearly frozen and overcooked and the salad was a premix from a bag, with cheese sprinkled on top. The pies were drenched in a weird, very salty sauce. I cut into the pie and noticed a ton of kidney and very little steak. It was so difficult for me to eat I stopped after 2 bites. I tried my friends pies and thought they were all incredibly salty. I couldn’t stick around for dessert.
There is a small, dusty gift shop as well but the prices are outrageous. I think the sandwiches look decent from the photos online but I guess I’ll never know what they taste like. There were other diners (who seemed to be regulars) so I guess there is a following to keep this place in business. The waiter/​chef was nice but the place was understaffed so it was too slow for a workday lunch.
My chief complaint is for a tea shop to have bad tea, it is really a shame. At least Garden Tea Lounge (despite its incredibly creepy antique store front) had very good tea.
Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

I love this place and the food. It seems like it’s never open though or there will be a large «group» that have it reserved.
Great food but horrible hours of operation for customers.

I came to the English Tea Shoppe last year with my husband. I was excited to go here as I’m from England and I saw that they served fish and chips. The picture of the fish and chips on the menu looked great, but what I got was NOT anything like the picture (which was seemingly taken from Google!) It tasted terrible and was ridiculously overpriced for what was, essentially, a school dinner.

Was part of a large group so things were not normal. Several friends like this place a lot so will have to try during normal business hours.
The house tea was really good.

Cute Lil shoppe… live the menu selection. Food presentation was cute and dainty. Also have a British food grocery selection!

Well, I liked it. This place defiantly has the potential of being great, if only they had more business. My family and I love British food and we have never been able to (in all of San Antonio) be served it at a restaurant. I learned a few things about British culture. This is proper British food and not too bad tea sets too. Though it is in a bad back location where no one from the street can see it. Yet I can’t wait to go back and bring the rest of my family with me.

Just don’t.
I am British and am always trying to find British restaurants around here that are actually genuinely British. This place IS NOT and sadly WILL NEVER BE a genuine British restaurant. It’s sad to say, but I really hope anyone who goes here leaves with an impression that British is food is anything like what this restaurant serves.
Firstly, the location of the restaurant is fine. It’s in a somewhat good area of town. But the look of this place will make you want to run away and not even enter. It’s very sad looking, which is a shame. Upon your entrance, the décor is somewhat similar, extremely outdated and overall, not what you expect a fancy tearoom to look like!
Also, the food is below par and not genuine. They say on their menu that the chips they will serve with your tea sandwiches are English. They are not, they are just plain Lays chips — but you won’t know that unless you ask. Fish and chips is the only reason I am giving this restaurant 2 stars. It’s good, but not something amazing!
Lastly, the service here is crazy. I haven’t been here in a while but the times I’ve visited, the same two women are always running the tearoom and they have the same conversations with us again and again. My mom and I came on a Thursday right after they opened at 11AM and the lady literally stood outside talking to us throughout our entire meal. It made us feel extremely awkward and we couldn’t enjoy our time there because she was talking to us THE ENTIRE TIME.
I wouldn’t recommend at all, don’t even bother going here. Drive past and you can see for yourself that it’s extremely rundown. Don’t waste your time or money.

We were very disappointed. This shop advertises as a tea room and British grocery. We went in to pick up a few grocery items to help make our high tea a little more authentic. I was surprised at the tea brands that were there… from what I saw, I could’ve picked up those brands at my local grocery store or Whole Foods and at a more reasonable price than at this shop (I would’ve expected to see AT LEAST a few British and/​or Indian brands). The shelves in general were quite bare which was disappointing. Even more disappointing was the quality of the available items (we chose shortbread cookies and lemon curd). As soon as we opened the cookies, we discovered that they were broken and badly damaged as though the package had been dropped SEVERAL times then placed back on the shelf and the curd was rancid. I noticed they had an area that seemed like it was intended to be as a tea room. It was quite dated (a shabby attempt to resemble a grandmother’s dining room). When we first walked into the establishment, I actually thought maybe it doubled as a furniture consignment store, so we skipped right past any notion that they would actually be considered a dining facility!