Cozy’s Pub

We got a Groupon for this place. Never seen or heard of it before, but as it’s right off Lexington Parkway, I’ve driven past it dozens of times. It’s basically the clubhouse for Como Park Golf Course and I assume the Groupon is trying to drum up business for the lean months.
From this first experience, Groupon is not gonna help. It’s one of the most uninviting places I’ve ever been. Sure, it’s there primarily to service golfers, and the view from the deck is excellent, but the inside of this place is as bland as water. It’s a simple white with green trim design, extremely basic tables and chairs. It’s like they know golfers are going ot eat there anyway, so why make the effort? Everything about this place says, «Can’t be bothered». I don’t know how much money they have, but seriously, it wouldn’t take much to give this place a facelift.
Anyway, we’re not golfers, and used a Groupon to find something new and different, and we got there at the start of October when it’s end of season — maybe during in season the place is jumping, but not now. Walking in, you don’t feel this is a pub. It’s more like one of those boring wee cafeterias you see in the basements of commercial buildings. A couple of TVs around the place with no volume turned up, but some loops of 60s easy listening garbage. Kinda depressing, but I guess if your clientele is the walking soon-​to-​be-​dead, you gotta cater to your base.
Menu was I-don’t-give-a-shit basic — which is essentially a few burgers and sandwiches, a few beers, and that’s it. No imagination. If I WAS a golfer, I’d probably find a different place to golf. Where the wife sat, she had an open and direct line of sight into the back of house, where you could see a mop and a half emptied dishwasher — no door to close either. When I eat at home I don’t want to see that shit — when I pay to go out to eat, I DOUBLE-​DOG do not want to see that shit. From MY vantage point, I could see a hot dog roller that had been turned off, even though there were about half a dozen hot dogs still on it. We were the only people in the place for a while. I hope those didn’t get served to anyone.
I inquired about the «red pepper sauce» on the firehouse grill — sorry, they don’t have that sauce anymore. Why is it still on the fucking menu then? We both ordered the same thing — bacon cheeseburger. The slice of cheddar on the the burger was basically heated to sweating point, not melted at all. The burger was okay, but it was a standard foodservice frozen patty, cooked on the grill with nothing to liven it up. Fries were okay. My bun actually broke in half. How does that happen? How long has it been since their inventory was rotated? We had one beer each, just to satisfy the Groupon, then we were done. There’s absolutely nothing I have to recommend. It wasn’t terrible, it was just kind of … there. There was a reason I’d driven past this place so many times without knowing about it, and that’s what I’ll continue to do from now on.