Jones

I always have a good time when I’m here. There’s a good vibe, the music they play is mostly the 90s with some newer things mixed in. I’ve always gotten good service from the bartenders, with well mixed drinks. Also, their bathrooms are some of the nicest ones I’ve seen downtown!
The downside of this place is that there is always a cover charge. Also, the line basically barely moves & it always seems to take forever to get in. One time I went outside cuz it was so goddamn hot in there & then they wouldn’t let me back in, even though I’d said I just was stepping out to get a little air & they assured me I could come back in.
Another downside is that they should have an awning or something because I’ve been drenched by the rain multiple times.

I’m glad a place like this exists in Portland. There are several places in the area where one could go to dance, but this one is one of my favorites when I am with a group of people. You can please almost any crowd with the fun music of the 80’s and 90’s!
The decorations are fun with their bright colors and their way of sometimes making you feel a bit old (mainly the Light Bright, cassette tapes, and selections of television shows). The DJs here always play some of my favorite and very dance-​able tunes from the 80’s and 90’s. However, they do tend to get a little ADD with how often they switch from song to song.
I enjoy showing up here on the early side in hopes of not having to pay the door cover charge. This also makes for much more room on the dance floor to «get your groove on». They were even offering happy hour prices on mixed drinks when I was here on a Friday; I was pleasantly surprised by this.
I’m really not sure what more one could want. Great dance-​able tunes, drinks, and an overall really fun time with a diverse crowd.
Go on… I dare you not to dance!

If you are into faceless dance clubs with lines outside so people can look good when they finally get to go in this is for you! If you are fan of 80’s and 90’s music, it is not. Songs are never played for more than 30 seconds and often have the thumping beat added to them. While the cover may be cheap the drinks are crazy expensive, even well drinks. I gave this an extra star because may be you are into this scene.

Despite having great late night music, Jones charges a $ 7 cover for no apparent reason. No dj, no live music, and no people (at this particular time when we went). Not my favorite place in Portland, but occasionally it is worth it.

Went here for the first time tonight, it was ok. The music and crowd were decent, the staff, mainly the bouncers were power tripping jerks. Brings the whole place down when the staff treat people rudely.

I have a friend that is big; a bouncer pushed him in the chest kicked him out for blocking the aisle. This guy serves his country proud in the USMC they let him in free but kicked him out with haste. His condemning words were I’m sorry I thought you could get by. If that’s what you get for being a big and tough marine then idk what country this place thinks they are in. Take this for reference as by-​standing witness
Do some work on your security. It’s America

I love Jones because it’s always a damn good time every time I come here.
1) The music is so strange, but FUN. One minute, it’s EDM… and the next it’ll be some Britney Spears or Fetty Wap! You never know what you’re going to hear next. But it’s always super fun to dance to. I always hear a lot of Britney Spears, NSync, etc.
2) The drinks are cheap and there’s never too long of a wait to order.
3) There’s PLENTY of room to dance/​sit, which is always really nice.
All in all, a great place if you’re looking for a good time. I deducted a few stars because EVERYONE has to pay cover, including girls! That’s kinda dumb, given that free entry to a bar/​club is one of a the perks of being a girl. I mean, this isn’t some high profile Vegas club. Cmon nowwwww.

This place was a blast. If you’re a fan of 80s and 90s music, this place is for you. I went on a Friday night and there was a bit of a wait, but the line went pretty quickly. Cover is $ 7 so keep that in mind, but pretty acceptable as far as covers go.
There are 2 bar areas; stick to the one away from the dance floor if you want quicker service. The dance floor is large, but can get crowded depending on what song is playing.
Definitely a great place to check out if you want to get away from the normal bump and grind of the typical club.

Great atmosphere! Get there as close to 11p if you don’t want to wait in line during the weekends. Bartenders can be hard to get their attention. But great for a good time.

Don’t ask the dj for anything. He will get extremely defensive and wave you off dismissively. Sorry I wanted a little less 80s since I wasn’t born yet you rude ass prima donna.

Visited Jones on the 5^th of September with my close friends. We decided to to VIP which only $ 150. Boy we were quickly disappointed. The state of Oregon does not do bottle service and the drinks were so weak! Nothing but juice. My girlfriend order five shot so we can add them to our weak drinks, but the waitress quickly instructed her that we could not add the shots to our drinks… WTF! Apparently there are some weird rules in Portland. We did it anyway. The music was okay to say the least. The only good thing about this experience is that the female bouncer kept everyone (and I mean everyone) out of the VIP area.

The first time I went to jones it was great. But the last two times the service was terrible. The first time they rejected my friends ID because it was from Alaska. We found the OLCC guy on duty and he walked is back to Jones and told them we were ok. Then they kicked us out for having bad attitudes. All the bouncers were extremely rude to all of our friends.
Tonight we decided to go back and give it another shot. This time we made it inside and were kicked out 20 minutes when my brother tried to order two drinks one for me and one for him. The bartender immediately kicked us outs. The bouncers called us faggots multiple times and where very conformational. One bouncer went chest to chest with my brother and there was spit flying into his face. I tried to explain calmly what had happened and get things straightened out and bouncer kept pushing us away.
It was so bad and I will never go back. Ever.

Worst club service I have ever experienced. Very rude all around. I was originally excited to go to this club but the security was very discriminating and rude, ruined everyone’s night. Never coming back. Don’t go here. Listen to me. I swear to God. All the other Unilocal reviews here are fake.

I love night clubs.
Seriously, I love to get all dressed up, go out all night, drink, dance and get my crazy on. The thing is, Portland is lacking quality night clubs. Does anyone remember Ararat? The little shack that sat on NE Grand Avenue until they bulldozed it for that clusterfuck of a Burnside/​Couch facelift? RIP Ararat, you were deeply loved and I miss you. Santorini anyone?
Now we have shiz like Jones, Splash, Dirty and other crap-​ass clubs that cater to 21 year old suburbanites. Yes I am old but I can out-​party you. I just don’t have anywhere quality to go. My gripe with Jones is not the music. I dig 80’s, 90’s and 00’s pop and hip-​hop music. One gripe is the DJ with ADD that can’t let a song go for more than 30 seconds before changing it up. I need more than 30 seconds lover.
I miss Couture. Sure it was pretentious and enforced a dress code but, you know what? Good for them. Sad they are gone too.
The security at Jones is also annoying. I can’t dance, or otherwise move without bumping into and tripping all over the hovering and overbearing security folks and are constantly giving me the side-​eye.
Another thing, having a restroom attendant that bellows at you to tip her is just rude and shady.
Dear Jones, strive for less crass and more class.
Love, T.
2015 — Review # 34

Cover is $ 8 !
I came to Jones because a couple of people recommended it… AND because there was a HUGE line!
Well no, I lied. I came around 9PM and the music was meh and it was empty so I left to Whisky bar… but when I came back around 12AM, the line was HUGE and it was pretty crowded. It was funk night (I think) and the music transitioned from the meh 80’s stuff to more 90’s stuff at the end which was wayyyy better.
The bar/​club is pretty big with cool décor. I got a vodka +redbull here and I thought it was really weak ~_​~ Crowd was a mix of people from mid to late 20s… and some older.

Wanting to go dancing, our friends told us to hit up Jones. We got there around 11pm, and the line was out the door already! (It wrapped around the corner behind us.) After around 20 minutes, we were at the front! $ 7 allowed us to get in. (Honestly, covers keeps out the cheap creepers so I don’t mind paying a couple of dollars. Plus, $ 7 is way cheaper than the $ 20 cover in SF!)
The venue is pretty nice — there’s a bar in the front and another bar closer to the dance floor. They do have a boxed out area smack right in the middle for VIP/​bottled service people. It’s kind of random, but hey, whatever works for them! Drinks (around $ 8) were not strong at all. boo! Although it was packed, it wasn’t too hard to get around places. The DJ played a lot of 80’s and 90’s music which was awesome! He did repeat some songs too, so that was kind of meh.
It’s not a bad place to be at if you wanted to get jiggy with it for a couple of hours with your friends!
FYI: They have a huge candy stash in the bathroom! A few pieces can be yours for a few coins/​bills!

Jones came recommended from a few Portlanders and overall, this place was cool! They played a mix of 80’s and 90’s music, and towards the end of the night, the mixes were more «clubby»!
The drinks weren’t strong and it got really crowded, but overall I think I had a lot of fun because they played songs from my homegirl Britney and classics like the theme song from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. They pumped up the crowd with Pump Up the Jam and got people to back it up with Sir Mix-​A-​Lot.
$ 7 cover gets you in and don’t forget to bring your grooove! (or was that the 70’s?)

I’ve been to Jones quite a few times since they opened 2 years ago. What I liked most, and what always kept me returning, was the great 80s-​90s music, over 30 crowd a great service.
I stopped by July 5^th with a group of friends. We had just had dinner and were walking around downtown when I suggested we stop in for a drink and some cool music. None of us are the «club» types and I thought this would be fun. Boy, has Jones sure changed… And not for the better.
The doorman said that my husband couldn’t come in because he was wearing a plain v-​neck tshirt. He asked if he had a hoodie that he could throw on… Really? Yes, he carries a hoodie to wear in 90 degree weather when going out downtown for the evening. So I was wearing a coral infinity scarf with a denim vest over my dress and the doorman said that he could get in if he put on my scarf or wore my denim vest. Wow! So he put my scarf on, we paid the lame $ 7 cover charge and went in. Once inside we had several good laughs on what people were allowed to wear inside. Still can’t figure out why a brand-​new plain white v-​neck tshirt was worse or inappropriate?
The music was awful, hardly any 80s-​90s music, mostly present day «club-​mix» music with a little 80s-​90s sound bites.
Drinks were weak and they were out of many key ingredients for multiple drinks on their cocktail list.
Overall, I won’t be rushing back or suggesting it to friends any time soon.

As far as clubs go, this place is pretty fun. I like that they are spinning the old school tracks. 80’s and 90’s make great dance music and it’s not the usual grinding hip hop that you hear at all other clubs.
However, the dance floor is way to small. They need to get rid of that VIP or whatever, curtain area that is just taking up a whole chunk of dancing space! Also a $ 7 cover charge? That’s expensive and lame.
I didn’t buy any drinks here because drinks at clubs are way too overpriced! I would maybe come back here for another girls’ night, but definitely not a weekly or even monthly stop. I live on the East side to NOT pay cover charges. It was a great night though, full of fun dancing! If you like 80’s/90’s music than I would highly suggest this club

I’m a bit 80’s fan and this place hit me right in the memories. The walls are covered with albums and posters from all different 80’s and 90’s bands and movie posters, the bartop had cd inlets, the light fixtures were filled with rubik’s cubes and cassette tapes, they even had a vending machine in the back filled with neon sunglasses, fingerless fishnet gloves, and glowsticks just in case you needed that extra accessory! The DJ kept the music up all night mixing between 90’s rappers and 80’s hair metal. They even had tv’s showing old school music videos!
My only complaints were how dirty/​sticky everything was, and the long wait to get in.