7-Eleven

It’s a convenience store. Bigger than some of the 7-​Elevens in the burbs.
Overpriced snacks and smokes, but conveniently located and always open!

This 7-​Eleven blows.
When I first moved to the hood, I was stoked to be near a 7-​Eleven because I have a bit of an obsession with coke slurpees, which is surprising since I never drink soda. I think it’s a childhood memory thing. Now that I’m all grown up, I spike my slurpee and have me a real cold rum and coke or whiskey and coke. The best part? My cocktail is in an innocent looking slurpee cup, which makes it easy to inconspicuously walk around in public. It’s genius.
So back to the excitement of a 7-​Eleven in my hood. I mean, they’re open 24 hours a day! Sometimes you just need something late at night. It is a *convenience* store, right? I’ve popped in two or three times to buy ice and they’ve been sold out. Sold out of ice. How ridiculous is that?! No ice! I’ve had to go to Plaid Pantry a few blocks away to get ice. I hate making more than one stop for something that should be reliably available at all times. Now I skip the 7-​Eleven stop and go straight to Plaid Pantry. I like to procure my ice from a reliable and convenient place.
Ok, so they never have ice. What about slurpees, the base of my adult beverage fun? A couple of times they were out of coke (blasphemy!) and a couple of other times it was all watery and not slurpee-​like. If I wanted a soda, I’d drink a soda but I wanted a slurpee and I paid for a slurpee. What a way to ruin my adult beverage fun.
I never bother going into that 7-​Eleven anymore since they’ve disappointed me every single time I’ve stopped in. It is clearly poorly run and they don’t pay attention to details, like having ice stocked and a properly functioning slurpee machine. I’d rather take my business to Plaid Pantry or to other 7-​Eleven stores around town.

This shithole deserves no stars. They always disappoint – never have what you’re looking for. They never give you the item you asked for; whether you enunciate perfectly or repeat yourself several times, they always manage to get it wrong. It almost seems purposeful.

I had just finished a month’s worth of yard work in one morning. Sweat was dripping off my wrinkled brow and I was tharsty. It was too early for a beer, but not too early for a frozen cup of artificially-​flavored, high-​fructose powered, brain freeze-​inducing deliciousness. Ahhhhh!
There’s only one reason I go to 7-​Eleven: SLURPEE. Coke is my favorite, with just a splash of Fanta Cherry. Sadly, the Coke flavor was recharging when I made my visit today. I opted for the grape instead. It still hit the proverbial spot.

I only went there for one flippin’ purpose: an ice-​cold Coke Slurpee with no backtalk, aight’? I got the Slurpee, but not without some MAJOR backtalk from the Slurpee machine; it took 3 minutes to fill, because it kept jamming, and then spitting or sputtering like it was on the toilet or something.
When I finally got out of that death trap, my poor Slurpee was half-​melted because the owner apparently doesn’t believe in A/​C. I know, I know, I’m just whining about a freaking Slurpee; but it shouldn’t be an ordeal should it?
My advice if you’re in this hood’, skip on down the street a few blocks to the next 7-​Eleven instead and save yourself the trouble.