Joni’s Capitol Cafe

It was a nice place to eat, take over Mike now, the cafeteria still serves up a great menu… call 602−254−9797

Dallas G. is correct that Mary is the sweetest woman on Earth but she’s picky about who she befriends so you can’t just be a douche and try to be funny right off the bat. She will shoot you down unless you’re Richard Pryor or something. I didn’t speak to her for the first 7 years I went to Joni’s. That’s paying dues people! Just order the breakfast burrito, know what you want on it, and move out of the way. Do that for 5 or 6 years and then try talking to Mary. Tell her your name to start and ask how her day is. Give her some sugar or things won’t go well for you… and by sugar I don’t mean a kiss, just sweetness.
I was sad to hear that her partner in crime Jose left, they were like the Burt and Ernie of the cafeteria world. Jose’s tamales (special order only during the holidays) rocked the house. I also feel like a piece of Mary left when Jose did. Sad times.
A couple of more tips–
A. Don’t try to order something crazy like the Denver omelette… it’s on the menu but just don’t order it. Mary will have to get weird ingredients out that aren’t in her immediate reach. She’s getting up there in age and I don’t want her to get hurt so just do what I say.
2. There is a small window area where the food that is ready is placed. Don’t stand in the window area unless you know your order is there ready for you. There are people behind you, standing out of the way that need to get to their food. MOVE!
C. There are two places to order food, the grill (where the awesome Mary works) and the sandwich bar… you don’t have to stand in the grill line if you want a sandwich, just cut past everyone waiting for the grill and order you sandwich.
Stick to that and everything else will be cream cheese!

Boring! This underground layer is almost spooky, all the surrounding hallways smell like thrift shop or like old hospital! Idk but I don’t like it so much. And the little old lady cook is a efffing grouch! Screw this place and screw my DES cafeteria too!
But when u are starving almost anything tastes good I guess…

This falls into the something to do before you die category.
It’s no longer called Joni’s as Joni took off to run some other place. But the new owner’s are awesome.
So, there’s a short order cook there named Mary. Imagine if the Soup Nazi was a shorter, slightly older woman and secretly the sweetest person on Earth once you put in your six years as a state employee and got to know her. And imagine she makes a breakfast burrito so good you spend $ 3700 and hours standing in the line to order it over the course of your six years there.
The breakfast burrito Mary makes is simply the best breakfast option in the state. No joke. I defy anyone to show me something better.
Go there some morning. Order the burrito. Friday’s there’s chorizo. Change your life. Don’t be afraid. There’s a whole unexplored world out there.
Tell her Dallas sent you and she may not yell at you for your shitty ordering technique.

There aren’t many lunch options around the State Capitol, especially when you have to eat fast. Joni’s Capitol Café is a great option, considering it’s in the basement of the building I work in! I have hopped in the elevator plenty of times when I have needed a quick lunch.
The food is much better than your average cafeteria food. There are daily specials, soup, a very nice sized salad bar, desserts, chips, a soda fountain, and even an ice cream machine. Prices are incredibly reasonable… I think one day I purchased a salad and french fries and it was $ 3.30 and almost every daily special is less than $ 5. Also, because it is in the basement of the Executive Tower, it’s a «who’s who» at lunchtime, so if you want some political gossip, it’s a great place to be! My only negative is that it is cash only.
Unfortunately, I just received an email today that Joni’s Capitol Café is closing permanently on May 29^th. This makes me sad especially for those of us that work at or around the Capitol, the closest «fast food» option is the cafeteria at the Department of Economic Security.
UPDATE (6÷2÷08):
While Joni’s might be gone, someone else has taken over so we still have food in the Executive Tower! Woo hoo. It’s basically the same as it was when it was Joni’s so nothing changed except for ownership.

Many of you would never know this place exists… it is located in the basement of 1700 W. Washington… The State Capitol.
Considering it is a cafeteria… it is really pretty great. Each day has a menu of the hot foods and then there are the standards of salad bar, sandwiches and grill food like burgers, grilled cheese. They even serve breakfast! If you can get out of the office at 9:15am (only 45mins at work for me at this point) — I recommend the breakfast burrito.
They also have fountain sodas, yogurt, candy, snacks, string cheese, yogurt, gum. It’s pretty darn great and convenient if you work by the capitol.