Wendy’s

Okay i’ll admit when it comes to me and Wendy’s resistance is futile. I keep trying to stop but the frostie it calls my name. And now they’ve added those frostie floats, well just forget about it. And it’s true of all the fast food chains Wendy’s attracts the most strange characters. It’s because their dollar menu just rocks. And I think the only fast food chain that has better fries than Wendy’s is Nathans.
This particular Wendy’s is actually probably a little less grimey than some of the other locations. Have you ever gone to the one on Union Square? And if you take Wendy’s to go you can avoid some of the unpleasant situations that might arise.

I saw a redneck guy eating a frosty with his fingers. Fast food joints tend to attract the strangest crowds. The place was grimy too. There seemed to be a layer of filth. It was like… looking though a pair of dirty glasses… except I wasn’t.
When I was working at American Apparel, a couple of blocks down, I used to come here a couple of times a week because I’m too cheap to pay for than $ 3 for lunch. Their dollar menu is pretty good deal, compared to McDonalds where it’s pretty much nonexistant. I usually get the cripsy chicken nuggets, frosty or fries.
I usually don’t eat fast foods because it’s bad for you but when I started eating at Wendys, I went from 105 pounds to 100 pounds. Go figure.

Don’t give me shit about free radicals, grease, or unsavory labor practices. The Wendy’s 99 cent menu is the world’s ultimate hangover buster.
I was an hour removed from forcing myself to puke in my office bathroom (capping a night off with a shot of whisky for the road is never a good idea) when the old queasy stomach/​throbbing pain in the back of the head/​overwhelming sleepiness combo kicked in. After dragging my ass to Wendy’s, still moderately buzzing, standing in line with a bunch of smelly cheapasses wasn’t really the best thing in the world. But after three dollars worth of chili, baked potato, and chicken sandwich, the regret had completely disappeared.
I wouldn’t say the power of fast food grease put me back up to 100%, but it did definitely lift me back to operating capacity. And going from zero productivity and abject misery to 75% productivity and passable contentment is worth noting — especially when it cost me less than four bucks.
This particular Wendy’s has a second floor, but you can take your food across the street, eat it in the park, go back, fall in line, buy a Frosty, and finish that in the park in the same time that it takes all of those tourists in line for Shake Shack to get a grilled cheese sandwich.

Done. Finished. The grand finale.
For a time, I thought you could not be replaced. I assumed that the passion we once shared was an infinite bond of flesh, sweat and a quixotic quest for the perfect grilled cheese sandwich. I was wrong, and oh so glad to have been! Finally, I have found a woman who understands that the way to Brutus’ heart is through the zipper of his boot cut denims. Her name is Jax, Tina… the loveliest three letters that have made me forget all about the ugliest four. We have plans, Tina… lofty plans, involving babies and monogrammed towels. I wish for you to crack like a frunchy gilligan, chuckling beneath the mudmask, as you imagine the Friday nights I will spend rubbing witch hazel on her beautiful shoulders. Yes, Tina. She has shoulders. And I have a bottle of witch hazel in my medicine cabinet. It says «Witch Hazel for Tina’s Shoulders». Oh… what’s Brutus doing? Brutus is crossing out TINA and replacing her name with JAX. Yes.
Now. my Frosty belongs to Jax’s french fries. If you seek a Frosty of your own, I suggest you start with that frigid time bomb inside your chest you call a heart.
Over
and
Out

Okay, I’ll admit it. Wendy’s is my favorite fast food joint. Don’t judge me. What can I say, they lured me with their dollar menu. Which, by the way, I still contend they originated. While McDonald’s was still figuring out what the hell else they could supersize (you see how much good that did them), Wendy’s had their permanent dollar menu already in place. The chili’s good and hot, the baked potato’s okay and the chicken nuggets are decent. The junior Frosty’s also on the dollar menu, and while I love my Shake Shack Concrete, it’s a good, cheap substitute that hits the sweet spot. They’re not my favorite fast food fries, but I really like their spicy chicken sandwich. Wish it didn’t look quite so skimpy and poorly assembled, but whatever, they don’t call it «fast food» for nothin’.
This particular location is nice because of the spacious upstairs seating. They have a sign up that says customers are limited to 1 hour at a table b/​c of the quick turnover, and I guess they don’t want loiterers. Even during the lunch rush, the line moves pretty quickly. I gotta say, though, that it was really poor planning on their part to have the bathroom right by the line. One whiff of what’s inside can really ruin your appetite.