Ocean Spa

For Chinese-​style massage, including back walking which I really appreciate, this is one of the most skilled places I’ve ever visited. I’ve been back many times with different staff and all have been very skilled. True it is not at all posh but your eyes are closed so really what does that matter? Well, I do get a bit weary of the music and I’m sure some people would prefer to be able to communicate in English. But the massage is great, the location convenient and the price is low.

Avoid avOID AVOID!!! Let me preface by saying, I am a nice person, I do not enjoy slamming any person or business, so for me to do this means something serious went down. I am traumatized, but impelled to review at this second so that no one else has to endure what I just did. I wanted to believe in this place, and I did… after 8 coupons advertised its special, and after New York Mag mentioned their 60 min deep pore facial as a «true bargain». Lordie, it was a true horror. For that amount of time, I expected a thorough, clean and perhaps a decadent experience. A bell should’ve rang in my head when everytime I called to make an appt (bc I had to reschedule twice) the girl just answered with «hello», and didn’t mention the business name. Afterwards, I put it together bc she spoke perfect English, the ladies at the spa (more like a dungeon) are sweet but do not speak a lick of English. So I walk into this non descript building up a dark flight of steps and into another world. It’s not a nice interior, it’s someone’s apartment filled with equipment. I was led to the facial room, more like the laundry room. The bells were ringing but I thought, it hasn’t started, they just might surprise me. What ensued was… aahhh!!! Started off with a glopping on of who knows what (yes I should have asked) of what I think were soaps and lotions. She basically just massaged my face. After about 10 minutes in, I asked if she was going to unclog my pores, she said no, that it was bad for my skin. That was the whole point of a deep pore clean! So then I knew she didn’t know what the hell she was doing. I cut the massage, er facial, to 30 minutes, saving 10 bucks but not my pride. The finale was a gloppy mask, which she put on my eye area, up my nostrils, in my hair, and on my clothes (horror!!!) and a massage over my clothes, where she most definitely groped me and I touched her. Upon leaving, there was a nice couple of pats on my derier complimenting my ‘stuff’ and globs of mask stuck on my hair, face and clothes. UnF’nbelievable!!! Unilocal,I suggest you make a symbol of a happy face puking or something so that places like this are more aptly rated. One star is too generous here.

I like massages that go beyond sensual. This one does. The girl was very good looking, the massage certainly crossed over and knowing that the only thing that separated us from the open areas was a flimsy curtain added to the thrill. Neat. Don’t know if I would make a habit of going there, but it was certainly interesting!

Wow is really all I can say. The place looked really nice and the prices were cheap, but this was definitely an interesting massage. First off, there was no changing room to undress in so you have to change in the massage room. This is fine, however several of the ladies there came in to the room while I was changing without bothering to knock. During my massage the lady kept getting WAY to close to my «private area» while giving me my massage which made me wonder what the heck goes on in this place. She even tried to remove my underwear at one point (normally I take it off, but this place had me slightly wierded out to begin with) and I told her I insisted on keeping them on. She didn’t speak a word of English so this took a few moments for her to understand. Then she crawled on the table and massaged me with her knees until I asked her (very quickly, I might add) to please stop as I could not breath. Also, several of the ladies came in and chatted with my masseuse WHILE she was massaging me! Granted the place was cheap and the massage overall was OK, I would not venture back down there again.

SO I went to this spa with my friend on Saturday and at first it seemed like a nice place, it was calm and relaxing, the massage rooms were dim and cozy. So we went in for the special (massage and mani and pedi) The massage was good, a little painful but it was OK. The manicure and pedicure however looked like my 10 year old niece did it. It was horrible and every now and then they’d switch off to another person, I had like 3 people work on me. My friend had only one person but she kept answering the phone so my friend’s mani and pedi took twice as long as mine. Then as we were waiting, these skeevy looking men were coming in for massages and talking very quietly, which made my friend and I think something fishy. Made us think the place gives «happy endings» which then made us cringe at the thought of us lying face down naked in a bed that some man was «pleasured» in. Finally we were all dried and ready to go. When we went to pay, my friend paid by credit card first, they asked her how much she wanted to tip, she only wanted to tip the masseuse good considering she did a good job, but the lady got upset and demanded more money for tip so my friend gave it even though she was pissed. Me on the other hand did not like her attitude and gave less than I intended to for tip and made sure they did not say something to me. So overall, yeah this place is cheap but if you want good service and want to be treated with respect, don’t waste your time. Not to mention there is no waiting area and no where to put your belongings.

Since our recent experience taking part (unknowingly) in a N.Y. police raid on the downtown massage parlor my man and I were at that moment giving business to (literally had a cop come up behind me and tell me to get dressed as I lay naked on the table) we were desperate to find a new locale for our weekly remedy. With only $ 80 extra bucks between us though, we were somewhat limited in our choosing. Lo and behold The Ocean Spa. Here, you’re not going to get served tea in hand-​painted china or find rose scented pillows in your private boudoir. There are no changing rooms for you to hang your winter garb and don’t expect cotton slippers available to ward your tired feet from the linoleum floor. But what you can expect is a more than decent deep-​tissue massage by some really nice ladies.
Note * The freshness of the towels can be a bit suspect but there are clean ones to be found under the beds. Hey, it’s $ 40 a person!