Tony Jaros’ River Garden

This place sucks. It gives the name dive bar a bad rep. The wait staff is rude. I wouldn’t take my worst enemies here.

Tony Jaros was so nice. The parking was easy and greenies were cheap. Also they’re just vodka sours. And they played blurred lines. Perfect Saturday!

I love this drink… my children brought me here and I’ve been stuck ever since trying to see y’all tonight!

$&*%$&(*&%#! WTF is in that?
Our server at Anchor recommended a few places in the area and Tony Jaros’ was one of them. She told us we *had* to get a Greenie, I beg to differ.
Fortunately for me, a drink at Psycho Suzi’s did me in; the thought of anything remotely sugary made me ill, so I went with a beer. The manfriend, never one to pass us a suggestion, got a Greenie.
The Greenie? It’s gross. It’s electric green, it doesn’t even attempt to impersonate any real flavor or fruit; the color reminds me of Kool-​Aid, Hi-​C, or one of those little barrel drinks with the foil tops. I’m not sure what’s in it, but the manfriend said he saw a packet of sugar, something to make it green and a bunch of booze. I’ve had worse — Malort’s my hometown drink — and I would’ve thought this is what they trick all of the tourists into trying, had I not seen quite a few next to patrons at the bar.
If you like dive bars, you’ll feel right at home here. Wood paneled walls, a slightly sketchy bathroom and no frills whatsoever. River Garden must pay homage to the area because while I saw plenty of river, I saw no garden.
If you’re in the area and want something a little less chaotic than Betty Danger’s across the street, pop on in. They’ve got food and if you’re feeling masocchistic, there’s always the Greenie. And if green’s not your color, don’t worry, they’ve got others.

It’s a classic NE dive bar! Yes of course there’s the Greenie (KOOL-​aid and booze). The food is surprisingly good bar food! I have been here several times and have always had a great time! Great people! I always seem to meet fun great friendly people when I stop in. Servers are great! Bar tenders… well they’ve got a few miles on them. I’m guessing they’re tired of dealing with drunkards.

This is the closest bar to my house and I will never go there again. The greenie is overrated and the bartenders for some unknown reason use thier hands instead of the ice scoop. So gross! If you like your drinks with a healthy dose of dirty dick fingers then this is the place for you.

Reading the reviews on here, I’m really astonished people have been here. I thought I’d found a secret bar. lol. Apparently not.
Stopped by here last year, in the middle of the week, in the middle of winter, around 6 or 7pm because I was meeting up with a friend at the tattoo parlour nearby. To kill time and to warm up, I went inside TJ river garden.
The thing I remember most was the lighting… for some reason it reminded me of greenish hospital lights… Anyway, it’s tiny with the bar in the middle of the room occupying most of the space in the front. Further to the back appeared to be some tables. The place was mostly empty, besides me, the only other guests were three older ladies in their fifties, sitting in the back tables and talking quietly.
I’ve never been in such a desolate bar before –but with barely anyone there, I thought for sure I’d found a secret gem of a space! lol.
Not knowing about the bar’s reputation & special drinks, I just ordered a regular beer and some soup and crackers. Service was matter of fact and cordial.
Having read the other reviews on here, I definitely would like to go back to visit TJ river garden once more to try one of their famous drinks. I’ll make sure to go there in the middle of the week, in the middle of winter again so that I won’t have to deal with a crowd, as it sounds like this is definitely a popular spot on the weekends for partygoers.

DIVE BAR ALERT!!!~ If you really like yourself a good dive bar — you owe it to yourself to check this place out… low key — cheap — AND they have a little pizza oven and pizza —I indulged in one of the greenies that they have and I have no idea what is in there… I was already a little toasted by the time we arrived here so I did not pay much attention — I did see some boone hill strawberry farm wine for the «ladies» that may frequent this establish that want to be classy and drink wine…
The bathroom was decent enough and better than you would expect…

This is no River Garden, but it is a must-​hit on any NE bar crawl. It’s a dive bar, make no mistake, but I appreciate it for all it is. It’s dimly lit for good reason with no windows, the oval bar itself takes up 60% of the room, drinks are served in plastic cups, bathrooms are disgusting, and if there’s a seat in the place that isn’t split all over and covered in duct tape I haven’t seen it. Go on a weekend and there’s bound to be a bachelor (ette) party that walks in and asks you for a condom or a spanking or whatever is left on their checklist.
They’re known for the Greenie, but there’s also the Bluey, Pinkie, Purpley, and Brownie (green and pink, I think?). They all taste like different flavors of pixie sticks, cost about $ 5 each, and will make for a wonderfully crazy night and an really awful morning. I think they’re made with Silver Wolf vodka, if that explains things. I don’t recommend trying all five flavors in one night, unless you’re sharing.
Come down to Tony Jaros’ and enjoy some gut rot and people watching!

plastic cups. strong drinks. smokers welcome. one shared bathroom.
open at 9am on saturday
awesome

Greenie’s! Greenie’s! Greenie’s! What a Cool Joint on the North Side!

Green meanies=lime freeze pops. For those of you who don’t know the green meanie is thier signature drink. It’s the color of electric lime kool-​aid and tastes like a lime freeze pop like the ones you used to eat a s a kid in the summer. I suspect it has quite a bit of liquor in it. Just a guess though!
I have driven past this place for years and always wanted to stop. It looks like the perfect dive/​neighborhoos bar. After stopping one night while bar hoppin in NE I have come to the conclusion it is. Now there are dive bars that are trendy. Many in NE qualify. And then there are true dive bars. This place to me is one of the latter. The furniture is old, the bartenders are old (yet really speedy service and incredibly nice… these are not crotchety bartenders) the food is greasy and fried and not fancy in the slightest, there’s a jukebox in the cornere and sprots on the TV sets. Wood panneling on the inside and a restroom larger than a broom closet. This building is way old. This is a true dive bar. The crowd is mixed but dominated by 30’s (if not older and up). This is not the typoe of place you are going to find drunk U of M kids at… thank you baby jesus.
If you are looking for a true dive bar with decent prices, stiff drinks, and a place that’s not pretty and you don’t have to be pretty to feel like you belong in this is the place.

Greenies are AMAZING. And this is coming from a chick who doesn’t like ‘green’ flavored things — Greenies transend that, they truly are that awesome. And Mama always said, «Don’t you lie about awesome.» Oh no Mama, I shall not…
What I like to believe is that Greenies are made with vodka, green flavor, crack, and magic, and when given a deft swirl with a spoon, the flavors combine to an awesome-​sauce creation that would make your grandmother weep tears of joy.
Besides that, at $ 4.50 a pop, they are dangerously delicious. And sneaky too, so watch out.
Oh, and a friend of mine who shuns drinks with rail vodka, couldn’t tell with a Greenie. Take THAT Cap’t PoopyPants!
But, if you do over-​imbibe (drunk on 100% pure awesome is a heady thing) they do have the standard greasy comfort bar foods you’d expect. But for your stomach’s sake, get the bacon cheeseburger pizza, and ask your fabulous server for chopped up pickles and ranch. First time I ordered said pizza, this is what the waitress suggested. I COULD HAVE KISSED HER ON THE MOUTH AFTER I TASTED HER CREATION.
So. Go here. And, you’re welcome.

In a neighborhood best known for dive bars with character this is possibly the quintessential dive bar (Mayslack’s is my other consideration) amongst them. It has everything that makes NE dive bars great: (1) Tight confines with only one room (2) Something unique to the bar (Greenies: A Vodka Collins with a twist – lime flavored syrup that you might otherwise find in a Mr. Misty) (3) The ability to pull in pub crawls, buses, limos, etc to keep the atmosphere lively and the bar packed (4) A wide and interesting mix of people from the tattoed, to the local pipe fitter to the polo wearing white collar professional all out to have fun on the weekend.
My recommendation is to hit this bar early in the night because the greenies hide the alcohol too well (think Wondrous Punch @ Red Dragon). If you feel a slight buzz it is best to stop and move on instead of ordering another because the rest is going to hit you in a few minutes.

This is my favorite dive bar! Greenies, pinkies, cheap beer and a great atmosphere! Great drinks, lots of laughs and plenty of people watching. I’ve been here a few times during wedding season and you could practically be a wedding crasher… actually, scratch that, make it a bacchelorette party crasher. So much fun!
Greenie = green elixer of amazingness… like hi c, jello powder, and kool aid had a three some.
A great spot to have a night cap! My favorite dive bar in MSP!!!

Come here on a weeknight and you’ll find an array of NE regulars watching whatever sporting event happens to be playing at the moment. Come on a weekend and you’ll be met with howling bear-​men in aqua-​blue polo shirts and khaki shorts, working up the courage to hit on their friends wife. A fun contrast if I don’t say so myself. The Greenies are one of the most well known drinks in the Twin Cities, and rightfully so as they are a mighty swell little drink.
You will also see a batchlorette party here, and no, there is nothing you can do about it. I assure you, there is a bachlorette party here during every hour of business.

This place stands out from the other dive bars in Nord East because of the greenies (and blueies, and pinkies that have been added). Always crowded, strong drinks, and a diverse mix of customers always makes for a fun drop in. Now if only they would add Orangies!!!

I mean, TJ’s has never been known for its awesome atmosphere — but I went there last night and it was awful. It was incredibly crowded and took forever to get a drink. I kind of thought that with Psycho Suzi’s moving this place would be less crowded, but it’s as if people drove to the old location, realized it wasn’t there, and all piled in to Tony Jaro’s.
No thanks.

No soap in the bathroom and I’m pretty sure the towel dispenser thingy was on it’s last leg. This place doesn’t take credit cards so be sure to bring cash. Bright lighting for a bar and they do have parking in the back…
We were meeting a group and the birthday person wanted their celebration here. I guess you either love or hate it here ;-)

Every time I go home, I get a group together and head out for a greenie.
Every time I bring visitors to Minneapolis, I volunteer to be the D/​D as long as my car can make a stop for my friends to grab some greenies.
Every time a greenie is consumed, an angel gets its wings.
This bar has been around for many more years than my pitiful existence and it continues to please. 21^st birthdays, softball championships, 25^th wedding anniversaries, returns from Iraq — I’ve been here for every possible celebration, and I still only have one complaint: the bathrooms are the worst in the world. The women’s is a one-​stall wonder. The men’s is a sink, 2-​person trough, and toilet stall with no door, but this is all combined into a 4 square foot area. I’ve answered the call of nature in a larger outhouse, and for this reason I cannot give Jaro’s a 5 star rating. But I’ll bet you a greenie that you’ll learn to pee before entering, consume quickly so as to not really notice where you’ll be relieving yourself all night, and go home happy to watch your greenie-​virgin friends vomit the gnarliest neon green puddle you’ll ever avoid like the plague.