Hotel Cortez

I will say that I liked the bar, but the bartender was so pushy with the cocktails (and book recommendations). I spent way too much on booze!
So, I may have been a bit tipsy, but no one could mistake the smell that permeated the halls and my room. It was like a mildewy tampon in a dirty cum sock plus rotted flesh. This fact alone made it almost unbearable.
Add to this the incessant din of what could only be described as murder orgies and some family of blonde rejects with like a gazillion kids running through the halls, and you start to get the picture.
Also the sheets were threadbare like they had been through one too many washes.
However, the kitschy retro décor, the indoor smoking policy and watching super gorgeous women in designer clothes strut through the lobby kept me from checking out. Plus the rates were to die for.
In fact, I’m still living here… can’t seem to leave… just keep updating my Unilocal review over and over again…

Stayed there recently. The hallways were a little long and confusing to navigate. There were creepy little children running around unsupervised. The lobby was eerily quiet. It could’ve used some muzak, or something of the sort to liven it up. Lastly, I couldn’t even use the pool. It was empty and the kids that were running around were sleeping in some glass boxes down at the deep end. The staff was a little weird, but accommodating. It was a cool place, but next time I’m in town, I’ll stay at the Magic Hotel.

Stayed the night here.
It looks all glorious on the inside, but those rooms need to be updated badly.
SERVICE:
The lady at the front desk was alright. She kept asking me these weird questions about my diet and I told her I pretty much eat everything. She was really nice about it and just gave me my room. So, she was alright. Seemed grouchy.
The lady at the bar was a doll. She knew exactly what drink I wanted and damn, she could dress well.
Room: 64
The room was really stuffy. Like old school stuffy. I wish they would update it, but whatever, it was only for a night. The bed was lumpy, but at least it was soft.
The only problem was the thermostat did not work. It was constantly freezing in there. I swear, it was like a morgue. Freezing!
But thank goodness for the blankets.
Only problem… Bed sheets were kinda stained. Gross.
The place was also always noisy. You hear them doing laundry or something going down the shoot. So old school.
Area:
So the area was kinda shady. Lots of druggies and hipsters. There are also horrible parents who let their kids wander around the hallways. Annoying.
There were also creepers. So be careful. They are the worst. Blonde frizzy hair lady kept checking me out. Yeah… No.
But there are some glamorous looking people… So HOLLYWOOD. probably actors. Man they were hot. So be on the lookout for them.
Parking:
Always a problem
Food:
Meh, their pâté tasted like cat food. It was bad.
Honestly, the only good thing about the place was the hot guy lurking around the halls. So freaking hot.
Yeah… Stay someplace else. This place was meh.

Don’t even exist… Just in case u were looking for the hotel like me lol at least not at this address its in dtla…

Okay, so I checked this place out when my reservation at the Four Seasons fell through. At first, I thought it was a charming little place with its lavish Art Deco stylings and kitschy little staff. It did strike me as odd that there weren’t any other guests moving about the giant lobby but I thought, «meh, it’s better than the Ramada.» I would soon regret my decision. First, there was a drugged out (albeit, kinda hot) junkie squatting in my first room and tucking himself in the mattress. In the mattress! Whatever, to each his own. I was then moved to room 33 (the less said about this room, the better) and finally to the upgraded penthouse. I was not told, however, that the sexy man beast (whom I assumed was a complimentary perk) wanted to share me with this crazy chick who looked like that girl who sang Poker Face and wore all the weird stuff. That’s where I draw the line. I politely but firmly excused myself and sought refuge at the local Y. Never ever will I recommend this place to friends!

Good bargain. Quirky, yet hip place. 4 stars due to the noise from murders. Bartender is very helpful, but they don’t have any craft beers worth mentioning.