Cool River Pizza

This review goes out to anyone who thinks it’s too late to write a review for a business just because they closed nearly two years ago.
I learned of the existence of Cool River Pizza the night of the Unilocal Adult Easter Egg Hunt in 2014. The hunt turned into coffee at some nearby hipster place, turned into lunch at Pizza Rock, turned into a show at Punchline, turned into getting stoned and curling hair in someone’s apartment, turned into Faces, turned into Petra, and this is why we Unilocal.
So I’m standing in line at Petra when this extremely hot guy walks up to me and starts trying to hit on me, and because I’m really nice, I roll my eyes and say, «Ew, you look exactly like my ex.» (In my defense, he did.) However, he has a master’s degree in street harassment, and so he is persistent. My friends are pressuring me to talk to him because he seems like such a nice guy and so interested in me, but my creep alarm is going off because I SAID NO.
#nomeansno
But I was 28 for the first time (because I’ve been 28 for three years now), and whatever, I gave in to peer pressure and let this guy buy my combo meal. Whether or not I looked into my wallet before doing so is totally irrelevant. So this is how I met Jasper, who claimed to be the owner of Cool River Pizza in Folsom. Cue me cracking the f#ck up.
«What’s so funny?»
«I wrote you the worst Unilocal review of all time.»
«Why?»
“Because your pizza is disgusting.”
«What? No way! No way! Come on, let me take you there right now, I’ll make you the best pizza you’ve had in your life.»
«I’m Italian.»
«So?»
“You’re not. I was born making better pizza than you’ll ever dream of.”
(I just really liked him.)
(No.)
But, come on, let’s be real. Would you turn down the opportunity to get to do whatever the hell you want in a pizza place at 3 in the morning? If you said yes, stop reading and go to bed.
Three of us arrived at Cool River Pizza shortly after 3am, at which point I received a phone call from Jasper, who said that it would be another 30 minutes before he could get to Folsom because he was too drunk to drive himself. Meanwhile, he gave me the alarm code so that my friends and I would not have to wait in the cold.
Yes, you read that right…
So my friends fell asleep in the lobby almost immediately while I proceeded to explore. The first thing I found was the schedule, with Jasper «the owner of several small businesses in the area» scheduled for 40 hours. I thought, damn, he claims to own six pizza places, that’s like 240 hours per week. And I thought I didn’t sleep.
I confirmed that the toppings were cheap and nasty, as my review said. After much exploring, I fell asleep in the office chair with my head on the desk. I woke up to the sound of beeping ovens, walked into the kitchen, and noticed that the sun was up, so I hurried and woke up my friends, who were still asleep in chairs in the foyer.
Jasper never showed up. About a week later, he reminded me of his existence by sending me some lewd texts. If you ever meet Jasper from Cool River Pizza, #dontdatehimgirl
Future inquiries as to why I spend so much time writing reviews will be directed to this review.
#adulteasteregghunt
#onlyonyelp

Is this a front for some illegal business or do they really sell pizza? My husband nearly cried when Papa John’s suddenly vanished and we have tried to try Cool River Pizza about a dozen times now… the phone just rings and rings. No answer, no asking us to hold, nothing. I guess from reading other reviews they actually do make/​sell pizza but we wouldn’t know as we are never able to get through. Too bad — because they could have swooped up PJ’s business with even a little bit of effort. We have moved on to Ciro’s or just pay more to have Chicago fire.

My son and I have been sad since Papa John’s closed. We saw Cool River Pizza move in to the old Papa John location but were hesitant to try it because most of the pizza places in Folsom (that deliver) are not to our liking. Tonight we decided to give Cool River Pizza a try.
I got right through to a very pleasant man who took my order quickly & accurately without placing me on hold :)
We ordered breadsticks, cheese pizza, and a 2 liter of Diet Pepsi. The food arrived in less than the time specified (always a good thing to get it faster) and was hot and fresh. The delivery person was friendly. My son and I love the crust. He asked me if we can order again because the pizza and breadsticks are so good. We will order again :) It’s nice to have a pizza delivery option again.

WOW! This place is amazing! The employees are so kind, and with speedy service. Their crust is so good, it’s soft, but not doughy and undercooked. Also, their cheesy breadsticks are to die for! The best breadsticks I think I have ever had!

Good inexpensive pizza. The crust is more biscuity and not chewy crunchy. Not bad, just different. The combo came with a generous amount of topping

Actually, the pizza is great. One of a kind dough. There is some secret seasoning that adds to the flavor that most pizza slices lack. I highly recommend this place to grab a slice or take a pie home to share with the family.

The best pizza anywhere! My wife and I got pizza regularly at the Cool River Pizza in Roseville. When we moved to Folsom we were missing our pizza fix big time. So glad that they opened a Folsom location. Fresh ingredients, great crust, and excellent customer service.

Ok. So I’m a big-​time pain in the arse when it comes to pizza. I like a thin crust, heavy on the sauce, nice amount of flavorful toppings & no rawness. Period.
Pretty simple one would think.
Apparently not. Especially in Folsom for whatever reason…
We tried Cool River last night. Phone ordering was smooth & personable. Price outstanding. Large with whatever toppings we wanted wad $ 13.99 as the daily special. Sweet. We added on buffalo «Chicken Ranch Chips» & cheesy breadsticks.
I picked the order up. Waited a few minutes extra, but that’s fine by me. Fresh is good. Plus that meant it didn’t steam in the box, one of my personal pet peeves. The gentleman who helped me at the counter (owner perhaps?) was friendly, efficient & I enjoyed a quick chat with him. He apologized for the small wait. I replied that it was NOT a problem whatsoever!
[* rant*]I don’t mind waiting for decent food. I cook quite a lot & realize that food is not «instant». Too bad so many other customers don’t seem to realize that. I notice that a lot lately (people biotching about how long their food takes). It chaps my azz. If you want «instant» food then expect your food to be of inferior quality. If you can’t wait half hour PLUS for a decent meal (wherever it may be), then just make yourself cereal or Top Ramen at home & spare the rest of us your self-​absorbed complaining. [ *ends rant*]
Anyway — back to Cool River. I really liked it! Now, for just MYSELF I would have ordered thin crust, but this was a family meal so we got the regular crust. Too much dough to topping ratio for ME, personally, but the regular crust lovers in the house said it was great. Cooked through, nice flavor& texture. So I believe them (I like a thin, very crisp crust, so I know I won’t be satisfied with a thicker crust. Because of that personal bias, I don’t base my overall opinion of the pizza on the crust alone).
The holy grail for me is cold pizza the next day. Cool River’s passed muster. YUM! (Crust& all).
That’s all I have to say about that!
The meat toppings we chose had the most flavor of any pizza I’ve recently ordered (linguisa, pepperoni, bacon, salame, & Italian sausage). The veggies (onion & green pepper) were fresh. Also– they did NOT skimp on cheese. Thank you! I hate a sparingly sauced/​cheesed pizza. I forgot to ask fur my usual «extra sauce» &this picky girl was fine with the way it came.
It really was close to perfect because everyone in the house liked it. That’s REALLY unusual.
I could have easily crisped the crust more to my liking using the oven or a pan, but I was happy to just pick the toppings off & eat the edge crust last night.
Like I said, it’s not that the crust was bad, or improperly cooked, I just wasn’t into eating it myself. Next time I get MY way & we order it thin. Lol– family compromise.
I’m happy these guys are right up the street. I have to say they are my new favorite in Folsom.

So excited to «support the little guy», we ordered take out and really enjoyed the pizza and wings. So, we tried again when we had friends over. We ordered 2 pizzas and 2 orders of wings for delivery and were quoted 45 minutes. An hour later we called and were told it would be 20 more minutes. 30 minutes later we called and were told they did not know where out pizza was and when I asked if I could pick it up I was told that it hadn’t been made yet but they were making it now. At the 2 ½ hour mark my guests were eating grilled cheese and cereal and I cancelled my order. I was not charged, but felt that Cool River missed several customer service opportunities. First, if their delivery was so busy, they could have called me and Id have picked it up, second, they should have delivered the pizza for free. Instead, they lost me as a customer and my friends that were over as customers as well. So much for supporting local business! Round Table here we come!

Tried them twice. First time I ordered just a small personal pizza and they was barely any sauce. The second time they totally forgot to put sauce on.
Pizza’s not bad, but if you want the a «normal» amount of sauce, ask for extra.

Not really sure what to think anout this Cool River location. The crust is the same a the Roseville shop, but the toppings are more sparse and they seemed to be skimping on the sauce, as well. Not really a good way to build a foothold in the pizza biz… not sure if i’ll give them another try…

I was excited to try this place, since it is about 2 miles from my house. I also heard good things about the Roseville location– so my expectations were pretty high.
I placed a phone order tonight and had the most disturbing conversation with the young lady who took my order.
1.She answered the phone on the third ring– (Nice Start)!
2. I ask about the special of the day (Easy enough)
3. She tells me that if you buy one specialty pizza, you get one for 3.99. I tell her that I only need one pizza, so I will take a pepperoni, sausage, and mushroom pizza. She then asks me what I want on the other pizza. Hah? I thought we went over this.
4. She catches herself, and asked what I want on my pizza. What? Who was I just talking to? This person who took my order does not belong anywhere near a phone. Perhaps she would be better served twirling that fancy sign on Blue Ravine Road.
As far as the pizza was concerned, the dough tasted similar to the pizza at WinCo foods. The crust is lathered with some sort of garlic butter. The sausage was poor quality, and looked like rabbit droppings. If you have ever had cheap sausage pizza, or owned a rabbit — you know what I mean.
I spent 17 dollars and change for a medium three topping pizza. I doubt that I will be back. I would rather go to WinCo and spend 2.99 for two slices of generic pizza and a drink.