TD Bank

This is my local branch of TD Bank: America’s most convenient bank.
I chose to go with TD over Citi or Chase because TD stands for TORONTO DOMINION bank and I am a loyal to the DOMINION OF CANADA, the greatest country on god’s green earth, despite the accident of birth being born 688 kilometers too south of the border. God save the Queen. (Independence for Quebec!). Because TD is a Canadian financial entity I decided to put my U.S. capital in their hands.
This bank is managed by a large Jolly gentlemen named Terrance who looks an awful lot like American Idol 2003 winner Reuben Studdard. His faithful associates Kimberly and Christophe always deliver exceptional service with a smile, and very much more often than not let me take their pens and lolly pops. Sometimes they have children’s activities such as appearances from local clowns, as well as clam bakes during the summer and tir d’erable (maple taffy) during the winter. If you ask nicely sometimes they even give you free bubbles so you can blow your own bubble money! They even have a drive through and are open until 8pm. These folks know how to bank tell.
I would much rather support the exalted kingdom of Canada and their royally chartered banking outposts in the US than institutions like Citi or Chase who are the financial equivalents of vampire squids sucking on the face of society, as my homie Matt Taibbi once said.
I would not trust my money to anyone else.