26SOFTSERVEFLAVORS The sign screamed out to me as I drove down Route 9W. I’ve never seen so many flavors! So excited, I swung the steering wheel to the right, and plowed into their parking lot, smashing into Hole 3 of the mini golf course. Nothing was going to keep me from those 26 flavors. Not this time. Coconut. Apple Pie. Pumpkin. White Chocolate. The list went on. No one has ever seen this many flavors of soft serve before. Never. In plowing into their parking lot, I felt like I might have even tripped through time and space, entering a new dimension, so strange and otherworldly was it to have such a list of soft serve flavors. Where was I? Was I still in Coxsackie? Was I even still alive? Or were those flavors a hallucination, driving me to my own extinction on a mini-golf course. To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I don’t know if I was alive for the next 30 minutes. The flavors were delivered: Peanut butter and apple pie. But we could not taste them. It was cold, it was wet. It seemed superficially like everything soft serve should be. But there was no taste. Maybe I was never there at all. Maybe I was dead. Maybe I still am.