Village of Depew

Ya man! I be from Jamaica man!
Eh man what de ya call de long bench seat or enclosed box in a church man?
De Pew man!
I drive through Depew probably 2 – 3 times a week. I live about 12 mins from here. I might eat here sometimes, or I might just have business here of some sort, or be passing through. It’s a great suburb, regardless of what anyone says. It has some good spots to eat. The police are a little worrying through, especially on Transit under the bridges between Walden & Broadway, so go slow. Limit is 30. Be careful.
Depew is the most wonderful village in the world and my best friend forever Ashleigh lives here which makes it even more wonderful. Jolly jolly happy roses and bunnies that never poop ever.
OK Ashleigh end of review you can stop reading now.
OK so there is this super creepy girl named Ashleigh who said that if I didn’t write a review of Depew that she would abduct my rabbit.
OK not really.
OK so Depew is an absolute hell hole. It’s the worst place on earth.
OK not really.
A girl I like a lot lives there, and they have a few great places to eat.
I mean for example TAKA is there, and when you see him you’ll be like TAKA! TAKA NOTHER LITTLE PIECE OF MY HEART NOW BABY!
And when I get a record deal I’ll be all Phil Collins and will be like TAKA LOOK AT ME NOW!
Of course Taka is probably on Dick right now as you know if you read the review of his wonderful restaurant, Teton, which is on Dick. Dick is wide and long but if you go up and down on Dick all day you will eventually get there.
Teton:
Get the lamb shank appetizer and the bacon wrapped scallops appetizer.
And my fave ice cream maybe in the world, is at Antoinette’s. Let them eat Antoinette’s. Get the coconut ice cream or /​and choc ice cream.
Depew itself is a nice, clean suburb, quieter than Cheektowaga, it used to be living in sin with Cheektowaga, but it had the Cheek to walk out on Cheektowaga. There are lots of train tracks here.
I like it better than some suburbs, I like it less than others. I think it is a really nice place to live, and I like it more than Amherst. More peaceful, less traffic, maybe a little friendlier.
Also I highly recommend Mooney’s, much better than the Military Rd location, order the Pulled Pork Rodeo Burger, and the Bomb sandwich.
If you are pulled over by the police in Depew, make sure you pull down your pants. It pleases them every time.
Oh and I am Jamaican. Don’t forget it.