Loyal Order of Moose Parma Lodge No 1744

Growing up, I was also intrigued about the legend of the Moose Lodge. Do I need an ivy league connection to enter? A secret handshake? Speak a language that you learned in Hebrew School? Mannerisms that are only taught if you an alum of Eton or Sciences Po? A surname of Russo, O’Malley, Calabrese, Corrigan, Forbes, Stokes, Osborne, Fedeli, or Feliciano? Nope.
What’s the hubbub and intrigue about? Well, it’s a club to join a club.
Heck, anyone is welcome to join for a year if they’re willing to part with $ 50 (women are a few dollars cheaper). What does it entail? You can rent their banquet hall that seats up to 150 for a modest amount. Access to their private dive bar and events.
There’s also dinners featuring one item nearly every evening for less than $ 10/​person: steak, hamburgers, gyros, etc. The food isn’t never horrible but it’s definitely not foodie quality. If you’re reading this, you likely won’t find the food to be special. You know, iceburg lettuce and food purchased from GFS.
The bar, setup with TVs right out of a typical Parma dive: is cheaper than Parma dive bar: no drink is more than $ 5. There’s a $ 1.50 domestic and $ 2 mixed drink that rotate each month. There’s also limited Great Lakes bottles. Members can invite non-​members for meals as well.
There’s events like super bowl parties, Christmas parties for the kids, horseshoe tournaments, a weekly league for the arcade bowling game that they have there.
All of this is in what my siblings, as members, describe as ‘low-​key:’ the other members are friendly, working-​class, middle-​aged (I’ve been there up to a dozen times, and have seen 1 person that’s not white. This is Parma/​Seven Hills). I’ve attended a couple events in the banquet hall, drank with them at the bar a handful of times. It has people who you recognize after being there a few times.
Also, it’s cash only. Need some new friends or a social group? Try it out I suppose.

As a young boy i was always intrigued with the mystery and goings on inside Moose lodges. I envisioned a secret knock and special handshakes. People dressed in long black robes darning moose antlers and a special belt or sword.
Well all that went to crap after visiting this colossal disappointment. No handshakes, no robes and you can walk right in. equally as disappointing it was an old cranky bartender that traveled at the speed of snail. My opportunity to enter this secret club was a birthday party for a member. In all fairness the only thing i ate there was the cake that was brought in (Michael Angelo’s, and it was awesome). I hear the fish fry is fantastic and cheap. But i wont be finding out.
Here is a bit of good news. If you are quitting drinking or thinking of cutting back, this is your place. The odds of you receiving enough drinks in an hour to render you drunk are unlikely.