Earwax Cafe

CLOSED!!!
This makes me so sad. I was planning on eating here when I came back to Chicago. How sad. The food was delicious.

I think you should open up earlier. Maybe the Wicker Park neighborhood is a sleepy little area, but I really want pancakes at.breakfast.time and for old hipsters like me — that’s 9:30am. Thank heavens for Myopic Books across the street to kill some time and listen to my stomach growling over the creaking of old wood floors. But at least when you did open (right on time!) you weren’t sleepy on service and speed.
I ate the pancakes with homemade berry compote and it was great. Don’t think I didn’t notice the slightly burnt pancake slid in between the two browned ones… The compote was awesome, melty and just the right amount of sweet. We tried a slice of the vegan carrot cake at the end, and the frosting wasn’t quite right but the cake part was delicious. Fun décor, comfy booths, and big street side windows make it a cool place to hang, but the graffittied smelly bathrooms are more like a bar than a restaurant and that can kill a mood in the morning.
I’m glad I came back to eat, though, but I won’t make the trek so far just for this place.

I love Earwax Café! I have never had a bad experience here… and that includes dining under the ‘new’ menu. Love the outdoor seating too.
Only one word to the wise. IF you wanna bring your city-​smart nieces and nephews (or other youngin’ entrusted to you for the day) here make sure they are city-​smart enough to not be horrified by the drawings and stuff in the bathroom. My niece is an awkward 12 but she can roll with it… she grew up in Boys Town and little can rattle her cage. She was a little put off by the giant man part with parts on the wall but not enough for her to say «it was a cool place» and that she «would like to go back again» and that «the food was good».

Earwax 3 weeks ago would have gotten 4 stars… Earwax today gets 2… Why, you ask?
After their «grand» re-​opening they literally cut their menu in half (bad choice) and have cheapened themselves by getting rid of their eco-​friendly take home boxes. Also, they are just barely veg friendly now. Definitely should not have gotten rid of the buffalo seitan wrap… so far since they reopened I have had the mac and cheese: which literally gave me a stomach ache. Ease up on the cheesage.
I also had the blackened seitan salad… meh.
I’m really upset that one of the best American style vegan-​friendly places in Chicago has turned into just another restaurant with mediocre food.

It was closed, but it is now open.
Perhaps it should have stayed closed.
Cash only.
I have been going here off and on for years, and while I thought some of the «new» diner things were just dumb (no toast included, etc.) I always liked the food. Plus it is the place to see the newbies from the suburbs or Iowa who have just moved here put a vintage copy of a Nelson Algren book on the table and tell the server about how the film Art School Confidential was a transformative moment, or hear a hipster chick hustle her parents for rent money over vegan food. There is nothing of Nelson Algren in Wicker Park anymore, but at least the Earwax Café was good for eating and people watching.
We went today to the reopened Earwax and my friend and I had the tofu scramble and the flautas.
The service was crap. Our waiter was a brain dead airhead. The sort of guy that pretends it is not his job to be a server. You are a server dude. Not a painter, or a novelist. He seemed to move between pushing us out the door and being nice. The female server had the same airhead demeanor. The place was not busy enough for a single server to be frazzled, yet both were. Get with it gang!
The flautas were ok. They were nothing to write home about, and you could do better in any Mexican joint in the city for about $ 5. The scrambler was pure crap. It tasted ok, but it was a tiny portion served up with a pathetic offering of hash browns. Heartland Café up in Rogers Park does much better vegetarian food, as does Flying Saucer over in nearby Humboldt Park.
They said they were open now with a new chef, but I suggest they get a chef from a real diner or find a talented chef who has cooked Mexican and ethnic/​vegetarian fusion elsewhere. This place will probably be busy because newbies know nothing of good food, and there is no nearby diner one can count on.
The place is now run by people who don’t seem to care about the business or the food or if people are happy. I worked in a place like this years ago and the owner always said that «people like a smile, good conversation, full cups of coffee, and ample portions of potatoes, so send only hearty plates out to the tables and do your moping around on your own time.» He was right. Heck, anyone will tell you that this is how to run a restaurant.
Be nice, give people plates that are meals, and like cafes have done for 75 years before some jerk decided to a-​la-​carte toast, give people toast. This is America, we eat our toast two slices at a time, and we like a meal to be a meal. Breakfast is not tapas!
I could go on, but in closing I always looked forward to going here even if the wait was 45 minutes. I hope they can fix the problems and start being more customer service oriented.

Ear Wax seriously sucks. The food is great when it’s properly cooked. Maybe some of the best over-​processed vegan food around, but again, it’s very rare that is not overcooked, hard, and lacking any flavor other than SALT. I love salt, but come on… do you really need to marinate it in salt? Hurts my tongue to even think about it.
Now, the real reason Ear Wax is an awful place to dine at is the service, and the people who work there. I support small businesses for sure, but I think it can also be annoying when places decide they can make up, change, or just forget about any rules (or common courtesy for that matter), just because they see it fit.
This review is mainly based around my experience today, because it was awful… but the service is ALWAYS WITHOUT A DOUBT, douchey, rude, unwelcoming, and always makes me want to slap the shit out of whatever crappy bored hipster is serving me my food.
Since they are closing on the 28^th, I figured I’d grab a pickup order one last time (I tried the other day as well around 8pm, but the idiot on the phone told me «We decided to stop doing pickup orders early today because we’re super busy.» Ok…) before they closed. The same idiot on the phone from the other day took my order, told me it would be about an hour, and hung up the phone without even saying good bye, or thank you.
An hour and fifteen minutes later, i arrive at Ear Wax to find that they have in fact, decided not to do pick up orders again because they’re really busy. Uhhh… So what happened to the order the idiot on the phone took? «Oh we didn’t get any pickup order over the phone. We aren’t doing pick ups today.» Uhhh… ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The woman there just stared blankly at me offering no solutions whatsoever. I understand your shitty place of employment is laying you off, but do you really need to be such morons? Oh right, you were morons before you were closing too. Die.
In short,
Dear Employees of Ear Wax,
please hang yourselves by your ugly ~vintage~ scarves. I hate you.

Best breakfast in Chicago. I mean that 100%. I get breakfast every single time (minus the one time I got a burger and it too was to die for). The atmosphere is unbeatable and don’t even get me started on the hilarity of the bathrooms!
PS: Earwax’s pancakes will change your life (or at least the size of your waist).

The kind of place that’s perfect for all-​day breakfast, and also that craving for quinoa burritos, big steamy heaping bowls of vegan chili, and autumn harvest shakes, whatever that means.
What’s that? You don’t crave that stuff? Oh, you probably shouldn’t come here and get their pulled pork and cheesesteak sandwiches.
Everything’s under $ 10 though, and it’s a cozy collegiate place where people were often seen ordering from the extensive coffee menu.

First of all, the name makes me want to throw up.
That being said, I came here with my boyfriend last weekend and enjoyed the back patio area a lot. It was very much a hipster place, and the interior was kind of weird, but overall it was decent. Neither of us are vegan, or vegetarian for that matter, but we appreciate good quality/​organic food and this place seemed to be great for that. My turkey burget was delicious (though there are better spots for turkey burgers… ahem, DMK), the soup was a bit on the bland side though. The boyfriend had a seitan sandwich and was pleasantly surprised, though he did say it was a tad bit overly seasoned. I, like most people apparently, also wasn’t aware that it’s cash only, and that was kind of annoying.

I haven’t been to Earwax in years, but hubs and I were in Wicker doing a little shopping and the hungries hit.
The menu options seem to have greatly improved since the last time I was there. I have no idea why I decided to try the seitan buffalo wings, but I did. The seitan was so chewy, it was like chewing a tire, but I have to say, the vegan ranch dipping sauce was seriously addictive (and I don’t even like ranch). I might have given up, but the buffalo sauce was pretty good and delightfully spicy and the portion was so big, I knew I’d have a lot to bring home (the microwave softened them into manageable submission when they made a reappearance for dinner).
The one thing that really stood out, though, is jeebus is it dirty. The walls are frightening, my husband drew my attention to the legions of dust/​grim monsters on the floor under our bench… yowzers. So, I’m knocking a fair amount of stars off for that one.
That may have been my last trip to Earwax.

Mish Mish.
I stopped in around 5 o’clock on a Thursday and with only two tables in the restaurant it took the server forever to find me.
Hello! I’m over here! Can you see me through all the emptiness?!
When he did eventually find my table, all i got was a glass of water and a menu, no «hello» or «thanks for coming.»
The menu looked good, and I eventually settled on the turkey burger with feta cheese and spinach. After flagging down the server to take my order, all I got was an eyebrow raise… it must be Earwax’s «are you ready» look.
My burger came about 25 minutes later (WTF took you so GD long!) and It looked like a pile of shit, literally. The burger was all torn apart and my side salad consisted of a few pieces of bib lettuce, cabbage and carrots. Very lame.
I ate about half of my food and had to scram before all the flies at the rest of it. I proceeded to the counter to pay with my debit card… oops! they only accept cash! At that moment, I wanted to throw my bags down, grab the register and beat my pathetic server with it.
I wanted to love you Earwax, but you gave me no choice but to hate you.

3.5?
It was taking forever to find a cheap/​interesting place to eat, but I saw their menu online and the prices were just right, and their goat cheese quesadilla sounded interesting.(but it was super sloppy to eat).
Got their diet cola which comes from Filberts, a local Chicago soda company. Yummm. & only $ 2 for a bottle.
Also got their house potatoes, which, wtf, tasted like fried chicken skin! Which to me= awesomeeeeeee. Haha. Fried chicken skin used to be my fave when I used to eat chicken…
Huge portions, cheap, and lots of goat cheese related options :))
Wish they’d turn up the AC though.

Love the Big Green Sandwich!

Of all the vegan restaurants I’ve been to in Chicago, Earwax is the only one that didn’t impress me all that much.
The restaurant itself is quirky and fun, and situated in a hipster-​ridden area of town, so naturally it caters to that kind of crowd. We were able to be seated in the back, which was nice because it was almost dusk-​y and it wasn’t yet too cold outside.
My food was good, but to be honest, I don’t remember exactly what I had. Yeah, that kind of good. Tasty, but not particularly memorable.
Also, aside from our adorable host (who reminded me of a member of the Blood Brothers), our service pretty much sucked. The server looked like she was too busy being concerned with her hair to actually help patrons, and it took ages for her to actually take our order. And I won’t even mention the umbrella debacle…
I’d be willing to give Earwax another shot, but I’m not exactly jumping up and down to do so.

I came here with a small group for breakfast on my birthday. I wanted something lowkey and tasty without the crazy Bongo Room line, welcome to Earwax Café.
I’ve been secretly creeping this place forever but never quite got around to it, I’ve dined at practically every eatery within a 3 mile radius of it but never really made the time to eat here. Boy do I wish I had come in earlier!
Stuffed french toast, that’s all I wanted. And as the birthday girl, that’s not too much to ask for is it? We got there around 10am and much to my dismay, our server informed us that he’d just sold the very last stuffed french toast. Hands in the air, NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Just kidding, I mean, I was mildly bummed but thought it was pretty gnarly that they make each batch of bread fresh as hell. Not wanting to wait for the fresh batch, he offered the short stack pancakes as an alternative and said he wouldn’t charge me for toppings/​sides. Chocolate chip pancakes were not at all a bad idea.
The house coffee (and I don’t drink coffee ever) was so fresh, and it tasted so good (none of that Starbuck’s bullshit) that I had about 5 cups, no joke. The two chocolate chip pancakes (no whipped cream) were heaven, they were actually just pancakes with the perfect amount of chocolate morsels cooked right in. Not too sweet but a pallet party was definitely going on.
Our waiter was super attentive, very kind and well versed on the menu. I was hesitant in dining here because so many reviewers commented on the lack of service… and if there’s one thing I absolutely despise it’s poor service. He checked in on us about every 10 or so minutes, at all the right times, refilling our waters, coffee and tea without having to ask. We took our sweet time as I love to enjoy my meals and breakfast is my fave meal of the day and not once did anyone give us the stink eye about packing it up.
This place looks like a Vietnamese boat crashed into and/​or exploded into a circus tent. I can’t really explain it much better than that. Kudos to the fresh feel, it’s really down to earth in here and may be my new brunch spot in this hood.

This place is great, I’m definitely a fan.
I’m a vegetarian and took a meat-​lover here for brunch last week – she ordered the french toast and says she will never be able to eat normal french toast again without comparing it to Earwax’s and being supremely disappointed.
Seriously, this friend is a non-​artsy, non-​Wicker Park-​hipster, die hard carnivore. If she loves Earwax Café that’s about as good of a review as you can get.
I highly recommend to all, vegetarian or not. Don’t expect it to be a Lincoln Park yuppie-​style joint – it’s not. It definitely has an emo hip art vibe in its décor/​attitude. But if you can accept that, it’s very worth it.

For the longest time I couldn’t believe I had never been hear (sorry, had to get that out of the way) since it’s right down Milwaukee from me. Now, I can’t believe that I’ll ever go back after the April Vegetarian Supper Club.
That’s a sad statement of fact because this place reminds me of my favorite vegetarian restaurant outside of the United States (Demuth’s in Bath, United Kingdom) in vibe. Breaking through the outer layer of circus theme that Earwax presents to the passing hipsters, the dining is actually quite peaceful — almost to the point of restaurant and not café. There are interesting wall pieces to sit under but other than that, it’s actually quite an earthy laid back (the paper menus are a nice touch) place and not really a carnival atmosphere.
Then again, from the outside, it would pretty much have to be a T.G.I. Fridays inside to match.
Though the food does match the fictional P.J. Blands from the Chili’s commercials so I guess they’re half way there. I got the sweet potato and black bean quesadilla expecting it to be interestingly flavored. It just felt like I was eating mush inside a burned shell. Worse yet, I took it home (after being unappetized by it quickly) and tried to eat it the next day while more hungry to get a truer impression of the food. Something weird had happened to it and my carry out container now had a watery substance inside that closely resembled — I don’t need to say it but I will anyway — earwax.
Maybe that’s how the restaurant got its name.
Though points for having filling vegan soups (intentionally, not like the quesadilla fail) on the menu and at the carry-​out counter. I might stop by to pick up some of that next winter (which doesn’t even bear thinking about right now). Or maybe come back for a breakfast. But I don’t know if I can handle (bar, right down the street) coming hear (darn it, I can’t avoid that) again for dinner.

Avocado-​salsa burger, hold the avocado?
Yep, that’s me kickin it high maintenance as always.
The fourth installment (my first) of the Veggie Supper Club met at Earwax for dinner. Since there were about 10 of us we got a table in the back. I’m not sure if the location of our table contributed to the slow/​inattentive service we got or if that’s the norm.
Like I said I got the avo-​salsa burger, no avocado and an iced tea. The black bean burger was huge and had a nice zip to it. It came on a wheat bun with cheddar, salsa, lettuce, tomato and onion and came with my choice of side. I got the fries, which were nice and crispy and came with some sort of seasoning on them that gave them a nice kick. Our table was long so it was hard to tell what everyone got, but most seemed to be happy with their choices.
Service could’ve been better. One of my fellow veggies finished his water and it took so long to get someones attention I gave him part of mine. Even then it involved flagging our server down for the refill! I’m not sure if my iced tea came with free refills or not, thankfully I also had my water to satisfy my beverage needs. Servers passed our table quite a bit, but it seemed that no one could be bothered to give us do much as a backward glance despite the place not being all that crowded.
Our server was nice, we just didn’t see much of him outside of the order taking and food delivery. It was also a little odd when he handed one dish to someone at one end of the table to be passed all the way down to the other end, rather than walking around and dropping it off.
Bottom line: Hearty veggie choices, decent food, BYOB, inattentive service. I’d come back if I was in the neighborhood and hungry, but I wouldn’t make a special trip.

Had a good time here tonight with friends, new and old. Big ups to Becky W and Michael G for setting up this event!
We had a semi cozy spot in the back for our party of 10. They had a variety of yummy dishes to choose from and they also serve breakfast all day long. I decided to have the Messy Burger which came with fries. The Messy Burger was a black bean burger with cole slaw, onions and some other stuff. The burger was great and I devoured the fries within 2 minutes!
As I said earlier, there were some other dishes I would like to try, so I would definately like to come back! I heard their breakfast potatoes were pretty good so that will be on my agenda the next time around.

I was tempted to give this place two stars instead of one, but I decided that, given its hipster location, and given the multitude of great vegan-​friendly joints serving American food in Chicago, Earwax really fails vegans and makes food that is mediocre, at best. There is no reason to come here.
A friend and I shared a tofu scramble ($ 9) as well as a seitan chorizo burrito ($ 8). The tofu scramble was bland. It was basically onions, green bell peppers and un-​cooked tofu doused in turmeric to make it look yellow. The dish had almost no flavor. The seitan chorizo burrito was also bland; it was predominantly refried beans, strangely fluffy soyrizo that had no flavor, and un-​melted Teese mozzarella, which didn’t enhance the taste at all.
The service was friendly and prompt. The décor is hip and crazy and the clientele is 100% Wicker Park, meaning no diversity and everyone’s under 25.
But the food here was barely passable. I didn’t have the willpower to eat even half my meal and my friend also was greatly disappointed with the food. Finally, to add insult to injury, Earwax is cash-​only. Go to The Chicago Diner, Vella Café, Pick Me Up Café, Handlebar, Lakeside Café or Karyn’s Cooked instead.

yes