I wonder about you sometimes, Goatman. We have known you for so long as none other that the Goatman, but as Superman is Clark Kent in real life, I wonder who you really are under all that hair and urban legend. Who is the Goatman, really? Let’s get to the core. Are you more man than goat, more goat than man, or evenly composed of both? The first sightings of you(according to Wikipedia and the countless stories I grew up on) began in 1957 in my hometown, but they quickly spread across the states. Are you nomadic, Goatman, or are you one of many? And why, dear man of goat, did the sightings wane over time? Were PG County’s pets and pesky teenagers breaking into Glenn Dale Hospital in search of ghosts not enough to satisfy your appetite? Perhaps the legend of Crybaby Bridge on the same dreaded, narrow road overshadowed your legend too much. Maybe too many teens, numbed by horror films and Fox News, went in search of you in the woods lining Governor’s Bridge Road, threatening your livelihood of goat-man-ness. Maybe you saw the Blair Witch Project and felt gyped knowing that whole story was made up when you, the real deal scary beast of the woods, lived just two hours from the film’s setting. One thing is for sure, dear Goatman. I will always get the chills driving down your legendary stomping grounds at night. Come back, dear Goatman. Maybe PG County’s murder rate will go down when you send the frightened citizens back into their houses in fear. Ok, maybe not. But here’s to hoping someone can save us, one urban legend at a time.
