Boulder Police Department

Not sure reviewing the police force will matter much, if you are on the wrong side of the law they are a 1 star, if not generally 5. That said while living in Boulder I’ve run into the police in a lot of different ways and every single time it has been nothing but positive. I actually believe the police are generally out to protect and to serve here and they do a great job. This evening I had the pleasure of seeing them handle a situation in the best possible way outside my business and thought they should be commended

During a visit to Boulder today we got terribly lost and walked the streets for an hour looking for our car. I was exhausted, hot, sweaty, and worried.
Then 2 motorcycle police officers rode around to find it for us. This saved our afternoon! Thanks Boulder officers!

They ruined my life with their creative writing techniques — in 2003 I was in a troubled relationship, one night things become aggressive on my significant others side of things, I walked to the police station and was arrested for DV because I pushed her (my GF) off of me while she was striking me.
The case was eventually dismissed but the police records are still out for the world to see. I actually payed to see my records and I was disgusted by what I read, I was there during the incident and I honestly thought I was crazy because none of what I read actually happened. After reading the police reports I actually began to realize why no apartments would rent to me over the years.
I later found out that they actually take «writing» classes for their reports, I would be interested to read the class overview, I can only assume its a bit heavy on «creative» writing techniques.
My suggestion is to record your interactions with this department on your phone, protect yourself — they are not there to help you, they are there to get you on violations so that you pay money into their system (court fees, fines, attorney fees, classes, probation, etc.).

I wanted to leave the entire CITY of boulder one star, but since that wasn’t possible, I’ll settle for the public face behind the most recent Boulder anti-​citizen debacle.
This last weekend I travelled to boulder to go to a tea festival. When I got there, I instead received an hour and a half of Sunday afternoon gridlock, with the police officiating over compete traffic mismanagement, and doing so angrily and unhelpfully.
Somehow, the city planned a marathon and a bike race at the same time, with traffic directed away from the downtown river park where the events (including the tea festival) all were taking place. Never mind planning FOR the traffic involved, Boulder clearly planned NOT to think about it… and directed their police to harass and obstruct anyone trying to get anywhere by car.
The height of the insanity was when I was driving down a street which unannounced was divided into a left turn lane that forced drivers back the way they came into the traffic jam, or away from downtown. I got in the left lane expecting to turn left to my destination, then discovered at the intersection that I wanted to turn right because I didn’t want to go back the way I came. Immediately the cop in the intersection ran over with his ticket book and yelled at me that I was violating the law, even though rolled down window asked for help reaching my destination. It should have been very clear that the best thing he could do was offer assistance, both for me and for the traffic in the intersection where I was stuck. But he continued to berate me as though I was a child, completely unhelpful. I had to ask him whether he was protecting or serving in order to get him to listen to me. Finally he called me an idiot and waved me through the intersection without giving me any advice or help on getting where I was going.
I’m going to avoid boulder fastdiously.

Isn’t there a crime you should be stopping? The BoPo are perhaps the most overfunded, underchallenged force in the state. How many cops does it take to bring in a drunk college student or a tripping transient? The answer is «one more than the taxpayers would like to be paying for.»
Please note that I’m not commenting on the Character of any of the officers, I don’t know them and I can’t say whether they’re good or bad. In my experience they’ve been about ⁵⁰⁄₅₀ but that’s neither here nor there. This critique is of the department and it’s shmancy Blazers and glimmering cars.
If you give any Police department a rating higher than one star then please don’t talk to me.

While this may seem like a scene out of a movie (maybe one of those wacky college comedies wherein people mistake certain male bodily fluids for beer foam) this ACTUALLY happened to my roommate Ashley and I during our last summer at University of Colorado. Since I think it would work as a screenplay, that’s how I’m gonna present it.
Floozefest Films presents: «The Sting»
Scene 1, the streets of Boulder. Two really, really ridiculously good looking and clearly inebriated college age hunnies (this is the first draft of the script, and the screenwriter is going for a «young and hip» vibe. Said writer was sacked immediately after submittal.) are walking home from the bars.
Anna: That was effing awesome. Didja see me do the worm on
stage? I’m pretty sure I bruised my chin, but it was totally worth it.
Ashley: Oh man, I missed it! I was sucking face with that hot skier kid. You’ll just have to do it tomorrow night, when we do the exact same thing!
Anna: Awesome! Hey, wanna order pizza?
Ashley: Hell yeah! Lemme get my– oh frick! I lost my phone!
Anna: STFU already! You positive?
Ashley: Yeah! Effin’ A, Cotton!
Anna: Well, hang on, I’ll call, maybe someone found it.
(Anna dials Ashley’s number, her flaxen hair blowing in the subtle mountain breeze. Suspect male voice answers.)
Suspect Male Voice: Hello?
Anna: Oh, good! You’ve got my roommates’ phone, can we come meet you and get it back?
Suspect Male: 20 bucks.
Anna: Are you serious? You really won’t just give it back?
Suspect-​Turned-​Douchebag Male: 20 bucks.
Anna: Um okay, we’ll come meet you at 13^th and Broadway and we’ll make the exchange.
(They hang up.)
Anna: Well this is a bunch of bullshit, I’m calling the cops.
(She does so)
Anna: Hey, Boulder PD, I was just wondering if it’s legal to steal someone’s cellphone and then charge them to give it back, cause I was thinking that would be considered extortion or grand theft moto or something… Not legit, huh? That’s what I thought. Would you mind helping us out?
Scene 2, the back of a police car. Anna and Ashley are squealing in excitement, as they’re part of a bonafide police sting. Anna’s still on the phone with the soon to be busted Douchebag.
Douchebag: What the hell’s taking you so long?
Anna (thinking, well we had to wait for the Five-​oh, Ass-​Clown): Sorry, we’re really drunk and we, um, got lost. We’re really close, I swear. What are you wearing again, so we’ll know you when we see you?
Douchebag: I’m the only guy here, I’m in a sweatshirt. Just hurry up, and you better have my money.
Anna: Oh, don’t worry, you’ll get what’s coming to you.
(All of a sudden, the intersection is lit up from all sides by Boulder Patrol cars. Perpetrator has nowhere to go, and is subsequently cuffed. Anna and Ashley do a little victory dance, sans worm– there’s not room for that.)
Female Foxy Cop: Here’s your mobile, now would you girls fill out this paperwork so we can book him?
Ashley: Oh… I don’t really care about pressing charges, I just wanted my phone back.
Female Foxy Cop, increasingly becoming Bitchy Chick Cop: Are you serious? You had half the Boulder PD come down here and you’re not even going to press charges?
Ashley: Um… No.
Bitchy Chick Cop: You realize this is extreme abuse of police services, don’t you?
Anna: Yeah, yeah. Now can we get a ride home? It’s awfully late, and I don’t think two young girls should be walking home at this hour.
Scene 3, the apartment of our young heroines.
Ashley: That. Was. Awesome.
Anna: I know right! Victory shot?
*End Scene*