Fashion’s Night Out

Gentlemen, your girlfriends were checking me out.
Ladies, your boyfriends were checking me out.
I wish I could say you were all a hot mess, but sadly you were all just a mess.
If you still need to ask why GQ named Boston the worst dressed city, you needn’t look further than Boston’s FNO. I saw a handful of people with style on a street fairly packed from top to bottom, and no I was not surrounded by college kids.. . So with this in mind, might I make a few suggestions?
Ladies:
I know you think guys like it when you wear patriots jerseys, but man or woman unless you’re on the field playing for the patriots and stretching them over pads, they’re shapeless and unflattering.
A boring shirt and jeans is barely acceptable for groceries. Why would you wear them to a fashion event?
Flip flops are not stylish.
And for the handful who «tried»
I get it that wearing strategically placed bits of fabric gets you looks, drinks, and attention from poorly dressed guys (more on them in a minute), but dressing like a whore isn’t stylish. I get it, though. You go to a club you want attention. Your clothing functions much the same way as the misshapen boring suits (more on them later to) that adorn so many mindless office drones across the country. You put it on, you play your role, you get what you showed up for. Still, It’s not stylish or attractive. you just look disposable.
Gentlemen:
Wow where to start.. .
Get some clothes that fit and aren’t ugly.
If you’re wearing a jacket it’s only unbuttoned when you’re sitting. If you walk around with it unbuttoned you don’t look chill, you look like a tool.
For the rest of you, wear a jacket. Why? Well, it’s after 5pm and you’re not a farmer. Look like a man.
Also, guys. Suits. Seriously. The ones who wore them might as well have been competing in a boring suit competition. Yes, you can do a lot with navy, BUT YOU DIDN’T. Oh look a red tie, and white shirt with no pocket square. you might as well write the dress code for the RNC.
While I’m on the subject of ties, it’s long enough that the tip hits the top of your belt buckle. Too long? Too short? Retie it. Deal.
And while I’m on the subject of belts. Go get some. Seriously. If your pants have belt loops and you don’t have a belt on you’re not dressed.
I swear, people, this ain’t rocket surgery. Hopefully, we can all come together and really stuff it someone’s ass at GQ next year. But everyone needs to tryyy.