The Sperm Bank of California

My heart was set on having a donor that I knew personally and who was Black or mixed with Black (I am mixed with Black and my spouse is Black). After two unsuccessful years and a tremendous amount of disappointment and awkward conversations, I spoke to a number of queer friends of color and my spouse and grudgingly decided to consider donors through a bank with their encouragement. We decided to start our search with TSBC initially because it was local and we were novices at the insemination process. I spoke to an incredibly insightful and compassionate woman there and told her our criteria — willing to be known, Black or mixed with Black, healthy, etc. Immediately she responded with a recommendation of donor profiles and was completely supportive and understanding of our commitment to having a Black child. Her recommendations were right on the mark! My spouse and I read the profiles separately and decided to tell each other on the count of 3 the one we liked the best (and luckily chose the same one). Much to my surprise, I immediately felt connected to a donor who had a similar career to my spouse and shared both of our world views and artistic backgrounds. I felt like we had known him personally. From there, the process moved really smoothly and quickly (super important when you’re «in your window»). This included welcoming my spouse with open arms as she did the pick up.
There are very few places where Black and brown folks can go and have honest and safe discussions about the importance of race/​ethnicity and culture. This becomes even more true when compounded by sexuality and trying to conceive. We are incredibly grateful to TSBC’s love, support, and mindfulness around these challenges and their commitment (even if unpopular) to mitigating these challenges. We will not consider using another bank and will be recommending them to our friends as they begin their journey.

My wife and I had selected TSBC as our bank after seeing the reviews on the Donor Sibling Registry and reading more about their policies and ethics. We spent months ordering profiles of various donors and narrowing down our choices until we had finally agreed on the right donor for us. When we called with a final question about the ordering process, an employee noticed in our profile that a month prior, we had ordered information about another donor who was half Black and half Native-​American. The woman asked if either of us were Black, and when I said no, she began telling me that we were not qualified to raise a Black child because we would be unable to connect the child with their heritage or to accept them for who they are. I was a little confused at first because no one had brought up anything when we ordered the donor’s profile, and we had already selected a different donor who was not Black (as I had told the employee earlier in the conversation). I informed her that we were aware of the issues in a mixed race family and had given the matter a lot of thought (which was part of the reason we went with a different donor), but she told me that it would be irresponsible to choose the Black donor and that she was only trying to protect any future children who may be created. She informed me that it is TSBC’s policy to have this talk with every couple who is not the same race as their donor. When I later spoke with a manager at TSBC, she confirmed this is their policy and would only say that she was sorry if I found the employee’s words uncomfortable. While I think that the race of a donor is a complicated topic about which people can have different opinions, it is incredibly inappropriate for a sperm bank to openly shame a couple for considering donors with a different racial background than their own. As a result, we no longer feel comfortable working with TSBC. After months of struggling with the decision of a donor, and thinking we had finally ended this part of our journey, we are back to square one. If you are a couple who is thinking of looking at donors of a different race than yours, be careful with TSBC.

I used sperm from TSBC in early 2012, and got pregnant my second try. I am SO grateful to them for making my family possible. I choose the TSBC because it is a non-​profit that evolved out of a women’s health collective, was the first to offer sperm to single and gay families and because of the identity release program. It felt good to be supporting a sperm bank that had such feminist, woman-​honoring roots.
I had very positive experiences here, from my initial and frequent inquiries (where they referred me to midwives who could do at-​home inseminations, amongst other fantastic information). I didn’t experience any of the negative customer service complaints others have had. I never felt rushed, condescended to, or treated rudely. I have had ongoing communications with them (I’m in the sibling registry and there was a medical issue in one of my donor’s babies, so they notified all of us), all professional, kind, and gave me the time needed to answer any questions I had in detail and with care.
Most of the negative reviews seem to have happened more recently, so maybe there was something going on after I used them, but I felt bad seeing such bad reviews and wanted to try to bump them up a bit.

Deciding to start a family is a very exciting and joyful event in someone’s life. Unfortunately here since, I’m assuming this is apart of their everyday life; They could much less give a shit about you and your goals, struggles, heart ache, joys, concerns, uncertainty, etc regarding such. A small back story on myself, my wife and I decided to start our ttc journey a year ago, we are in our mid– late 20’s both employed and pay for the services ourselves. Every single person I have dealt with from the practice over the last year has been rude, un helpful, uncaring, even seeming frustrated when after 6 months of seeing them I did not become pregnant. I often received the comment «you SHOULD be pregnant BY NOW» from several different people in very harsh discouraging tones. I often felt like my fertility/​infertility issues were mine alone to deal with. And that no one there would be a support system. This is a delicate time for couples or even single parents. You don’t just one day up and decide to pay $ 600 2 – 3 times a month because you think it’d be fun. And you especially don’t want to deal with people’s ugly attitudes while trying to remain positive and up beat on your Ttc journey. Though they were rude and snarky every visit, every month. I persisted. The final straw was the last time I purchased two vials from them, one washed vial and one UNwashed. Someone made a mistake and charged me for the proper vials but gave me THE WRONG VIALS.(this is very important bc there is a price difference and when you are trying to conceive. It’s best to inseminate, UN washed sperm closer to the day you ovulate, meaning higher conception percentage, I got two WASHED vials which obviously would not work) The only reason I knew they were wrong was because my mid wife pointed the mistake out to me… (Washed vials are in a pink dye-​UN washed are in their ‘natural’ fluids and is yellow in tint) I don’t recommend them. I never became pregnant from any of there donors. After my last encounter with them I became so discouraged. I’ll never return here. Save yourself the heartache and the headache.

Update:
After leaving a 3-​star review, Alice Ruby, the ED of TSBC, contacted me via email. She said she was sorry I had a difficult time with their services and policies, and invited me to contact her directly if I wanted to share more about my experience. I explained what happened, she apologized again, and told me that if she had specific feedback, she would share it with the staff involved to improve.
My next visit was much better — everybody was friendly and welcoming, from the person who made my same-​day appointment to the counselor who helped me (there was a different person at the front desk). And Alice met with me in person that day to offer some info on something that was related to my situation.
I appreciate the response and I’m honestly happy with TSBC.
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I have very mixed feelings about the TSBC. On one hand, I had my son using one of their donors, so I’m very grateful. On the other, some of their staff suck big time.
The good:
The ID-​release program. The donor catalogue is user friendly and easy to navigate. The counselors (the trained person who meets with you when you pick up vials with sperm) have always been friendly and informational. You can pick up in person so you avoid the $ 200 fee for shipping. It’s a small bank but we had no problems finding a donor we loved. They only use the same donor for up to 10 families. They have a program where they connect families using the same donor (if they wish to participate). We attended a very interesting class lead by their ED (I think) — she was knowledgeable and friendly.
The not so good:
Tons and tons of forms. But once you are done, it’s all good. Parking around their office is pretty bad.
The crappy:
The admin staff is just awful. They have been extremely rude over and over again. For example, I called to schedule a pick up – they asked for my first and last name. Yes, I was very excited because my ovulation was coming and was daydreaming about getting pregnant, so I gave them my last name, and then first name. The person over the phone replied «FIRST name and LAST name» in a very nasty tone. Really?! Obviously she realized it was my last name.
Another example: I went to pick up a vial, rang the bell, and they told me to come back at the right time. I looked at my phone — it was 3:24pm and my appointment was at 3:30pm. I mentioned this and the person answering replied, «Yes, I KNOW. Come back at 3:30» and hang up. So I waited those 6 minutes on the sidewalk (not even the lobby of the building) while drafting this review, and rang the bell again. When I went upstairs, I saw the 2 counselors who met with me sitting at a table chatting. There were no other customers around. The receptionist gave me a snarky look and went back to looking at her computer. Mind you, when I called that morning to schedule the pick up, they had told me the afternoon was completely open. But they couldn’t let me in 6 minutes early.
Those little things happen every time I have an interaction with the TSBC so they add up.
All in all, I think the TSBC is ok but I wouldn’t recommend them to anybody. The fees are similar to all other banks, and the fact that it’s a non-​profit doesn’t seem to make any difference. I envisioned a non-​profit having at least a scholarship program for low-​income women to use their services, but they have nothing like that. I’ll continue using their services for baby #2 as we want to use the same donor. But I wish I could go somewhere else.

Staff is very rude after they collected your money. Must show up on time or else they will charge you and or reschedule you. When they give your verbal report they don’t have time to explain any more information then the numbers of motility sperm. I’m new to this and need more explanation but the staff do not care. All they say is look at the report and discuss them with your doctor. Report does not provide much details (after comparing them with other friends that were tested else where. Should have known given the low ratings from others. I gave this company a chance and now I regret it. Save your money and go somewhere else.

The first time I’ve been there was actually earlier today. I didn’t know that I have to make an appointment in order to make a donation. I mean, I didn’t had enough time to read or go through their official website, and I don’t care who I give my sperm to. I just want to go in, fill out some forms, answer a couple of private questions to the doctor, make the donation, get money off of it, and then leave. That middle age blonde woman told me to leave very rudely, because I didn’t make an appointment. And I’m like, okay then maybe I’ll call to make an appointment first, and then come back. Then she’s like; ‘You need to leave.’ You know, in a way like she’s gonna call the police. I didn’t pull a felon, I was trying to be nice and make a donation. The other chick at the front desk was very nice and such a doll. But that woman who told me to leave, real fucking rude!

This place gave me life, which is pretty neat, but I got depressed a lot in college.

We got pregnant through TSBC, so in that way, I am always grateful. But for those of you who have no connection to TSBC yet, and would like just an honest review of them as a business, let’s say this: they are really, really difficult to work with. They run much more like a for-​profit business than a non-​profit — as a client, there are costs assessed to absolutely everything, small (or not so small) fees that add up dramatically over the course of getting pregnant. They are inflexible in their appointments and policies, and I agree with every other review saying that the office staff is just a bit mean — oddly cold for people who are dealing with clients who are already at a vulnerable time in their lives. If they did not have the genetic material we need to give our child a full sibling, we would switch sperm banks in a heartbeat. If you do not have a relationship with TSBC, I would encourage you to shop around before committing to them.

I’m using this sperm bank to store my husband’s sperm while we go through fertility treatments. The prices are reasonable compared to other places, but to me, customer service is HUGE and the women there are at times rude and a lil condescending about questions asked, forms filled out etc. It makes it unpleasant to call, but I need their services.

Not just a place to get the stuff you need to make a family, these folks are ethical and easy to work with. More Community involvement, more wonderful people knowledgeable in this field, Ana Ethics too. I love my donor conceived kid. I think these folks are great.

I came to realize in 2007: it’s really not that hard to die. And that’s when I started thinking about storing my genetic material.
1) Men are becoming progressively infertile.
2) There are many medical conditions and procedures — cancer treatment, for example — that can render men infertile.
3) People who «know» they don’t want kids change their minds. A lot. Just look at the number of vasectomy reversal procedures. And no, these procedures do not work well. Failure rates are high.
4) Above all: Why not do it? If you can afford it, it just seems like a no-​brainer for bloodline and peace of mind. The potential downside of doing it (cost) is recoverable; the potential downside of not doing it is irreversible.
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Storage
The sperm is stored in small vials or straws of holding between 0.4 and 1.0 ml and cryogenically preserved in liquid nitrogen tanks. It has been proposed that there should be an upper limit on how long frozen sperm can be stored, however a baby has been conceived in the UK using sperm frozen for 21 years[1]. Before freezing, sperm may be prepared so that it can be used for intra-​cervical insemination (ICI), intrauterine insemination (IUI) or for IVF (or assisted reproduction) (ART).

I had a negative experience with TSBC. To begin, the staff is very unfriendly and unwelcoming, which is particularly troublesome considering how vulnerable one feels when they are in the position of considering artificial insemination. You don’t get the sense that you can freely ask all of the questions you have. Secondly, although the donor profiles online are informative, you are charged every time you want to see a donor’s baby photo or get additional information about a donor (long charts). It can really add up and become frustrating when you want to consider many different donors. I originally chose TSBC because they are local, lesbian-​operated, and have many identity-​release donors. I decided to switch to European Sperm Bank in Seattle, which ships anywhere, is much more cost effective, has a much more informative website, and MUCH friendlier staff. You can pay a flat fee and get all of the donor information you need, including baby photos,.
I would avoid using TSBC if at all possible — they accidentally sent me bills for two other clients. Imagine if they made that kind of mistake with genetic material? I am giving 2 stars instead of one because after I wrote a letter of complaint the Executive Director called me to apologize and reimburse me, which I greatly appreciated.

Wow, what nasty people. These women clearly hate men. I was treated like dirt here. I had some sperm stored and they made a big deal about my retrieving it so I could have a child. In fact, they went out of their way to be as difficult as possible.
Do these people have no soul? They are screwing with my life here!

I’m a heterosexual female using donor sperm from the Berkeley location.
The customer service is so-​so. Have had better and have had much worse. They did keep screwing up my billing though. They don’t keep full names in their system and someone w/​the same first initial and same last name as me was in their system so they accidentally put my credit card number in that person’s file. I got charged for their services twice, each time resulting in an NSF fee, each time Sperm Bank reimbursed me with no hassle. They finally put a note in my file so that every time I used my card the person would see that it said «do not keep on file.» However, it happened once again after that. No NSF fee that time but it was very annoying.
I like that they have donor identity-​release. Not all banks have it. They also do a lot of research and publish their studies. Their fees are slightly less than other banks (quite a bit less than some high end banks. C’mon, sperm is sperm and they all process it the same.). They are a small bank so there are less donor’s to choose from but I haven’t found that to be a problem yet.
I’m a little suprised by one reviewers comments that they put all of the donor’s information online — everything except the name. This is NOT true. I’ve been using the online donor site for over a year and the profiles have VERY limited information. And there’s no information whatsoever about the donor’s family, other than their limited medical history. Trust me, there’s no way someone reading it can tell who the donor is based on the information provided. And the review also said they were a bunch of lesbians who basically hated men. That’s hilarious. Even as a hetero, it’s funny. Hmmmm… maybe they chose not to use that guy’s sperm because he had «problems.»